By Monica Benderman
I remember the first time I visited the Viet Nam memorial in Washington, DC. I wasn't very old and neither was the wall. I was not sure I understood why there had been a war; even to this day I am not sure I understand that. I didn't understand the feelings I had inside when I stood at the entrance to the wall. My father took my hand and told me I was not to say a word as we walked the long walk through the memorial. I didn't know why but I knew I was walking on sacred ground, and I felt grateful that I was able to visit such a place
I remember stopping as my father read the notes left along the wall, looking at the flowers, the medals, the mementos left to family - to brothers. I remember watching the veterans who surrounded the wall, and the feeling of awe I had for being where they were. These were the men who had watched over me, my family, and my home. From what little I understood about where they had been, from what little I was aware of the politics of war, the one thing I did understand; these were soldiers, men of honor and they were in tears as they surrounded that wall - I didn't know why, but I felt them and I knew whatever the reason, they were powerful tears.
St. Patrick's Day is coming. It never was the specifics of St. Patrick's battle that impressed me, but rather the fact that he was able to find a non-violent way to convince a dictatorial king that there was room in the country of Ireland for more than one man's way of believing. St. Patrick never managed to convert the Irish king to Christianity, but he did succeed in convincing the pagan king that Christianity could co-exist with the faith of druids, and was granted permission to teach his own beliefs to those who willingly asked to hear his words.
On March 17th, I have read of two gatherings at the wall I have come to have tremendous respect for; one of Veterans for Peace, the other a Gathering of Eagles. I have read the ongoing debate between members of the two factions, and I have read of some civilians who have made the claim "it is not your wall, it is our wall," and the very words sent a chill through me with the disrespect that came through them.
St. Patrick used gentle teaching to convince a powerful king that differing beliefs could co-exist in peace, out of respect for himself and his beliefs; out of a consummate faith in what he had come to know to be his truth.
Peace walks quietly offering the greatest respect not to those who think alike, but to those who disagree. It takes a great deal of work to come to know something as your truth so strongly that you are not afraid to stand alone in the knowing. Those who cannot accept the differences in others can only be very afraid of walking alone. Those who accept do so with an understanding that can only come from having walked their own road to find their own truth.
There is so much about the Viet Nam war that only those who served will ever know. Every veteran who served brought with him feelings, experiences and memories no one else will ever be able to fully comprehend, not even those he served with. They will always understand, however, for the one thing these men share is that they served. It didn't matter what their beliefs were; their religion, their color, their background - they stood together not for the ideology, not for bringing freedom to others, but simply to come home alive from a place in hell that none of us who were not there can ever imagine.
The Iraq war is horrendous. It is a war we will once again be recovering from for a very long time. The veterans of Iraq have one strength they can count on - from men who served in a war as devastating, who returned hoping never to face a war again.
Viet Nam had no internet cafes; no Starbucks or Burger King, there was no Green Zone to return to after a sixteen hour mission, no hot showers, no air conditioning or instant messages to family back home. There were no soldier blogs, no soldier diaries on Fox - there were the men who stood together, the men who died, and those who carried their brothers with them to the wall.
For some veterans it meant returning to work publicly for peace. For others it meant living quietly, searching for peace in the quiet strength of family, community and privacy. For some the war was never over; and for all it was a time they will never forget.
When I returned to the wall this past September, I stood at the entrance to the memorial and stared down the long walk of names. Years after my first visit, mementos were fewer, veterans as well, but the sacred sense of power was something that had not changed, and the peace that emanated from it belonged there and deserves to remain. The wall does not exist for an ideology. It was not built as a tribute to war. The wall is not standing out of a commitment to a country or to a people. The wall is a tribute to the men who gave it all, by those who stood with them when no one else was there, regardless of their differences.
The wall exists because men stood together for their lives. The wall fulfills the promise that they all came home - that none will ever be forgotten.
The wall is not a place for protest. It is a place of reflection, of power, of respect and peace.
The wall is not "ours".
The meaning of the wall is not deserving of the disrespect that has been shown as it has grown brick by brick over the past month to stand as a divider between the men whose experiences brought them to different beliefs, forgetting that they once stood together for their lives. These men of different beliefs who served together deserve better than to be further divided by the words of civilian "peace-makers" whose actions belie their words of peace.
For those who can - remember - so their sacrifice is not forgotten. For those who can't remember - understand - the power of the wall is there to teach you, a gift from those their brothers carried home.
Peace.
Monica is the wife of Sgt. Kevin Benderman, an Iraq war veteran who served over a year in prison as a Conscientious Objector having refused further participation in the immoral, unethical action of war. Please visit www.BendermanDefense.org to learn more.
Kevin and Monica may be reached at [email protected]
From the article: "The meaning of the wall is not deserving of the disrespect that has been shown as it has grown brick by brick over the past month to stand as a divider between the men whose experiences brought them to different beliefs, forgetting that they once stood together for their lives. These men of different beliefs who served together deserve better than to be further divided by the words of civilian "peace-makers" whose actions belie their words of peace."
I deeply love all that Monica and Kevin have done/are doing, but this statement is naive and O' so wrong!
If the highest goal is conciliation, what ever might be construed as "The Good" is ultimately lost. Yes, we absolutely MUST allow "The Borg" to match down mainstreet "Skokie," but we must never feed them after midnight, get water on them, or hand over the keys to City Hall!
Those Nam Vets whose souls are sold to the Official version of reality are guilty of giving aid and comfort to the enemy! Hanoi never planned on sneaking ashore in Seattle, didn't draft us, commit us and millions of Southeast Asians to death following the lies that allowed us to be sent, or the BS spewed after the sixty-eight election leading directly to the lingering years of slaughter that followed a promise to end the insanity so Kissinger could create new foundations for future Quagmires! The millions who died on that far off peninsula were murdered by the ideal that we are honorable instead of greedy for power and stupid enough to let our so-called leaders manipulate us into buying their self serving crap when we know better in the first place and are too weak to stand up for it, and later too weak to admit we were wrong! I'm not clear on what is going on at the Wall since it is impossible to find a Liberal Press outlet, but I bet it is exactly this.
I agree the Wall ought to be a place of truce, but if it is to be that, maybe it has to be first a place of conflict...
Until these jerks see the light, the US will continue to vote for assholes like Bush/Cheney, etc., and keep us over our heads in horror they insist is a fight for freedom!
It is not just us, or our sons and grandsons and granddaughters and whether they should have to decide whether to "serve" our Nation. It is whether our Nation is worth serving and whether our national character in relationships with other Nations is worth defending. Bullies are never welcome on the playground. The division between Nam Vets, as I see it, is between those who hate bullies and those who are unable to detect them, especially when they themselves are the cowardly shits in question. Going along to get along is assimilation, which only leads eventually to drinking windex and death in a gutter. Stay on the reservation and starve future generations of their dignity.