By Stratofrog
Editor's note: Here is another literary friction by Stratofrog. While most can figure out the cast of characters, here's some help. Widdledub is George W. Bush, and Blunderdick is Richard Cheney
EERIE, Pa. Recently reclusing and reproofing his forthcoming storybook at a library in Texas, Widdledub finally broke his silence on Oh-Balm-Ah, speaking to $1500 dollar tables at The Manufacturit & Busyness Association's 104th Annual Wingnutteroo. Breathing in the parrhasia and breathing out his displeasia he took to the stage benighted and feckless with a large helping of arcane verbal tendencies. Widdle began by serving up enigmatic drift and wooly treasons for his "Eight Year Reign of Error:"
Kakourgos, Onourtourbus, Yurwithus, Yuraginus, he poured forthwith into the faux microphoney.
Notorious for his derivative sneers tilted to common people but also skewed to the vanishing middle class, Widdledub refused to reference by name (but body-languaged) his favorite megalomedia "accidental" shooter, Blunderdick. Suddenly stumbling deeper into his own financial foibles, he blurted," the verdict is out on socialism." He now seemed hazy about his green paper TARP, which flew by intentional coincidence over America's depleted soils.
"I'll just tell you that there are people at Gitmo that will kill American people at a drop of a hat and I don't believe that persuasion isn't going to work," doubled-negged Widdle. Deep into one side of the face, he decided to stop talking while his numbers continued to fall. He left the odditorium stage as his last applause line linked his self-described "soul" to a lack of citizen popularity and French fries.
Widdledub wished to distance himself from Blunder's recent networked torture confession which had been televised internationally. But regarding his obdurate torture policies he yielded, "The first thing you do is ask what's legal?" and "Therapy isn't going to cause terrorists to change their mind."
One-minded and all, the detainees Widdledub cited had finished their lengthy rehab at the Saudi Sentre for Singing in Unison in 2007. Since enduring Widdle's policy of foreign care and counseling tactics, some of the jihadis had begun anew, their bodies and minds still driven by suffering the Blunderdick's untouchable unterrorgators.
Stepping over Raygun's glove, Widdledub retired to the skene, breaking the rehearsed circularity of the neocon design but making infantile noises under the flying fish arches where the golden public stood in union lines still hoping for Oh-Balm-Ah's uneleven bread. The new Prez had already flown over for the rescue, but hovered up in the air, nearly becoming a constellation.
Waiting made the people hungrier and feverish, but Iran had run away with a burning news cycle while more US soldiers were invisibly dying next door, and besides, the smoke and mirrors were obscuring their telling visions.
Declassify my mind? Declassify my brine? Declassify my byline? Widdledub chimed, repositioning his cowboy hat for a new song and a dance. He left the fund raising arena after dropping off some co-optation, patronage, and coercion, humming an old Saw-di da'wah, supercilious la-dee-do-dah-day, either zoned-out or jumping the snarks.
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Un-Finis Parrhasia: (free speech)
in spite of Kakourgos (evil doers)
http://blogs.abcnews.com/politicalpunch/2009/05/obama-adminis-1.html
http://washingtontimes.com/news/2009/jun/18/bush-takes-swipes-at-policies-of-obama/?page=2
http://www.carnegieendowment.org/files/cp97_boucek_saudi_final.pdf
http://www.law.umkc.edu/faculty/projects/ftrials/socrates/ifstoneinterview.html
http://depthome.brooklyn.cuny.edu/classics/dunkle/studyguide/clouds.htm
http://washingtontimes.com/news/2009/jun/18/bush-takes-swipes-at-policies-of-obama/
http://antiwar.com/casualties/list.php
Author's Note: The characters of Widdledub and Blunderdick were created this spring in Talking Points Memo Cafe by the writers "Flowerchild" and tpmgary, respectively. Thank you!
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