Many return from their service transformed All too often, they are too uncomfortably transformed to fit into the "civilian" flow of life. For some, it is more comfortable to return to bloody combat and the risk of death, than to return to friends and family, and co-workers, and a clueless populace. The adrenaline, and violence, and death-linked comradery is a real embrace. The invisibility and lack of understanding of "home" is a different kind of death.

For some, there is no return to war zones, and for better or worse they wrestle the demons and some "win" and some "lose." Some rebuild their lives. Some end up on the streets, or in the jails, or numbed by drugs of choice. Many, and certainly their families, cling with all their might to the comfortable myth that "it was all for a grander purpose."

I have heroes who are veterans. I have watched many face the demons of war (and military "actions") that remain with them - often for a life time. One of the sacrifices they made is the tattering of a glamorized entertainment myth of war and fighting in the face of bloody reality and burned indelibly upon their mind's eyes, and upon their hearts. It is a cost beyond bearing, and one that goes virtually unacknowledged by the populace.

Instead, they all too frequently face a betrayal by those societally tasked to know - and support - them. Namely, the Department of Defense, and the various military services, and the Veterans Administration. Conditions such as PTSD and psychological issues are frequently ignored, or those who have served are dissuaded from pursuing services. Then there are those other things that the military does not want to acknowledge, and therefore refuses to provide service - the "atomic" vets, agent orange, depleted uranium, Gulf War Syndrome, the effects of vaccinations, the paltry benefits left to the families of the fallen, the list goes on and on. The realities of serving - or surviving serving.

Once a year (twice if we count Memorial Day) the nation is called on to recognize these heroes - standing and fallen. This sanitized recognition does not mean embracing the reality of the service or the true sacrifices made. This sanitized recognition does not even recognize the human and national costs of that service. Certainly, nothing is said in this war glorifying culture regarding what the best recognition should really be - a commitment to ending war and working for peace. Yes, peace is work - ongoing work. However many veterans DO make this commitment, and for veterans that commitment comes at a higher price than for most who have never served.

So I want to say thank you to the most courageous of veterans who I know - those veterans who struggle for peace. They have fought, and continue to fight, incredible internal battles while waging the most significant of struggles - the struggle for peace. Thank you veterans for this ongoing service to an ungrateful nation. Thanks also to those veterans organizations that struggle untiringly for peace and truth, and support those who have served in this critical struggle.

Please thank a veteran, and thank a Veteran's organization such as those below. Importantly, also commit to fighting for veteran's rights and to creating a world where such sacrifices are never needed again.

Veterans for Peace

Iraq Veterans Against the War

Veterans Against the Iraq War

Winter Soldier

Winter Soldier: Iraq & Afghanistan

WASHINGTON, Feb 17 (IPS) - CENTCOM Commander General David Petraeus and Multinational Force Iraq (MNF-I) Commander General Ray Odierno have submitted assessments of Iraq combat troop withdrawal plans to President Barack Obama based on the premise that his 16-month withdrawal plan would pose significantly greater risk to "security gains" than the 23-month plan they favour.

But a senior commander in Iraq appeared to contradict that premise last week by declaring that security gains in the Shi'a provinces of Iraq are "permanent", and a field commander in Iraq says there is no objective basis for any Petraeus-Odierno finding that Obama's plan carries greater risk than their 23-month plan.

Maj. Gen. Michael Oates, U.S. commander for the eight southern provinces of Iraq, denied in remarks to reporters Feb. 12 that the security gains in that region were fragile, contrary to the premise that Odierno has publicly asserted. Oates cited the dramatic reduction in activities by Shi'a militia fighters and the holding of the Jan. 31 elections without any major attacks.

In a previous press briefing Jan. 14, Oates had told reporters that, even if violence were to break out after provincial elections, Iraqi security forces "are well prepared to handle that".

He also cast doubt on Iranian involvement with Shi'a militias in the south, saying he had "no evidence or reports of people training in Iran", despite periodic "anecdotal intelligence reports" of such training camps.

Oates said he had already reassigned combat forces in the region to non-combat missions, either training or economic development, despite grumbling by soldiers.

Although Oates did not explicitly address the issue of drawdown plans, he has been known to favour a more rapid withdrawal from Iraq than Petraeus and Odierno for some time, according to a military officer who served under Odierno and is familiar with Oates's views. "His belief is that we need to get out of the country and let the Iraqis take responsibility for their areas," the officer, who asked not to be identified, told IPS.

A field commander in Iraq, who spoke with IPS on the understanding that he would not be identified, asserted flatly that there is no greater risk associated with President Obama's 16-month withdrawal plan than with the 23-month plan, contrary to Petraeus and Odierno.

The officer said that the U.S. military presence has already "passed the tipping point of diminishing returns" in relation to stability and security in Iraq. "The longer we stay now, the less we achieve," he said.

Neither Petraeus nor Odierno has offered any public explanation for their argument that a 16-month drawdown plan would pose greater risk to stability and security than one lasting seven months longer. However, Stephen Biddle of the Council on Foreign Relations, an adviser to Petraeus, argued in Foreign Affairs last fall that the U.S. military presence is "essential to stabilize a system of local ceasefires" between Sunnis and Shi'as and between the militias loyal to Moqtada al Sadr and the Shi'a-dominated government.

But the field commander now serving in Iraq told IPS that the U.S. military mission in Iraq has "little correlation" with the present ceasefire between Sunnis and Shi'as. The Sunni-Shi'a conflict, said the officer, "is now one for political supremacy, not a counterinsurgency as defined in the Army's Counterinsurgency manual".

He said he had been briefed recently on the U.S. mission in Iraq and had been told it is still a counterinsurgency mission, as it has been for several years. There was "no mention of any peacekeeping function aimed at maintaining ceasefires," the officer said.

The idea of enforcing ceasefires is advocated by some in the U.S. command, he said, but that would be "a very different mission from counterinsurgency".

Biddle confirmed in an interview with IPS that the U.S. military peacekeeping role he advocates has not been adopted by the MNF-I command. A number of officers in the command, he said, still believe the U.S. objective in Iraq is "the gradual elimination" of all forces competing with the Iraqi government's security forces.

Ironically, it was Biddle who revealed in Congressional testimony last April that the reduction in sectarian violence in and around Baghdad beginning in 2007 for which Odierno had credited the U.S. troop surge was actually the result of the heavy defeat of Sunni insurgent forces in a year-long battle with Shi'a militias for control of Baghdad in 2006. Biddle observed that the U.S. military tried to stop the sectarian violence but played "no decisive role" in the ultimate ceasefire between Sunni and Shi'a.

In an online discussion on the Washington Post website Feb. 9, Biddle conceded that U.S. troop strength had been insufficient in 2006 to prevent the sectarian violence in Baghdad.

That revelation undercuts the Petraeus-Odierno argument that keeping combat troops in Iraq longer than 16 months would help maintain the present ceasefire between Sunni and Shi'a forces. In 16 months, U.S. combat troop strength will be only a fraction of its 2006 level, even under the Petraeus-Odierno plan.

The U.S. field commander said that, even if U.S. troops were given the mission of enforcing ceasefires, it would not give the U.S. military any additional influence over either side to remain several more months beyond the 16-month withdrawal period.

"At some point [U.S. troops] are going to have to leave," said the commander. "The Iraqis are going to resolve political differences without American military muscle to enforce it. It doesn't matter if that process begins in 16 months, 23 months, or 23 years. We gain nothing with the additional time."

"The 1st Cavalry Division cannot make the Shiites and Sunnis kiss and make up," he observed. "They can't make the problems of oil revenue sharing get resolved. Those are issues only Arabs and Kurds can resolve."

A second U.S. officer now serving in Iraq, who also asked not to be identified, expressed doubt that a 16-month withdrawal is logistically feasible, based on his experience in a specific area south of Baghdad. But he agreed that it is time to complete the turnover of responsibility to the Iraqi Army and rapidly withdraw U.S. combat troops.

"It's time for us to get out," he said in an interview. "If the U.S. military continues to do the job, the Iraqis are going to be lazy, and they won't do it themselves."

The officer conceded that the Iraq army "is nowhere near as competent as the U.S. Army," and that "there may be some breakout of bad things" after the troop withdrawal. Nevertheless, the officer warned, "If you don't give the Iraqis the mantle of responsibility, we will be there for another 25-30 years."

Gareth Porter is an investigative historian and journalist specialising in U.S. national security policy. The paperback edition of his latest book, "Perils of Dominance: Imbalance of Power and the Road to War in Vietnam", was published in 2006.

One can imagine what the classified report must contain since the summary itself is damning:

The abuse of detainees in U.S. custody cannot simply be attributed to the actions of "a few bad apples" acting on their own. The fact is that senior officials in the United States government solicited information on how to use aggressive techniques, redefined the law to create the appearance of their legality, and authorized their use against detainees. Those efforts damaged our ability to collect accurate intelligence that could save lives, strengthened the hand of our enemies, and compromised our moral authority. This report is a product of the Committee's inquiry into how those unfortunate results came about.

The Summary states that Bush's removal of Geneva Convention protection for detainees "opened the door" to abuse and torture. Further, the Department of Justice redefined what torture was to permit "aggressive interrogations. Then Rumsfeld approved the use of torture. Torture was approved for use at Guantanamo, in Afghanistan and then in Iraq. The conclusions in the Executive Summary start on page 16 of the document, and traces the decisions made from the White House and top administrations officials, through training practices and into the field.

In Senator Carl Levin's (head of the Senate Armed Services Committee) press release regarding the report, he concludes"

"The abuses at Abu Ghraib, GTMO and elsewhere cannot be chalked up to the actions of a few bad apples. Attempts by senior officials to portray that to be the case while shrugging off any responsibility for abuses are both unconscionable and false. Our investigation is an effort to set the record straight on this chapter in our history that has so damaged both America's standing and our security. America needs to own up to its mistakes so that we can rebuild some of the good will that we have lost.

In the Joint Statement of Levin and John McCain (senior Republican on the committee) states in part:

The Committee concluded that the authorization of aggressive interrogation techniques by senior officials was both a direct cause of detainee abuse and conveyed the message that it was okay to mistreat and degrade detainees in U.S. custody.

Chairman Levin said, "SERE training techniques were designed to give our troops a taste of what they might be subjected to if captured by a ruthless, lawless enemy so that they would be better prepared to resist. The techniques were never intended to be used against detainees in U.S. custody."

Senator McCain said, "The Committee's report details the inexcusable link between abusive interrogation techniques used by our enemies who ignored the Geneva Conventions and interrogation policy for detainees in U.S. custody. These policies are wrong and must never be repeated."

Not only had I closely followed "The Tillman Files" but many interviews of Mary earlier in the past year, most notably in my opinion, the ones by Emily Wilson of Alternetinterview which I had watched on March 28, 2007. Now holding Mary's book in my hand, I thought there might not be much more to say about it, so I contacted her to see if I might interview her not specifically about the book but about how she's coping these days and the awarenesses she's come to.

True to the mother's loyalty that exudes from every paragraph of her book, Mary Tillman does not want the focus to be on her. She's tired of being in the media limelight and simply wants the world to know Pat's story-who he was and how he and his family were betrayed. So after completing Mary's book, I was drawn to focus on her process of discovering the truth about Pat's death and the meaning of her discovery for all of us.

Mary Tillman was a school teacher at the time of Pat's death, and like most working Americans, she was very busy and had little time to research the dark side of the United States government. Nor was she inclined to do so with two sons enlisting in the Army shortly after 9/11. As is the case with many individuals who begin digging deeper, it wasn't until a tragedy erupted in her life that she embarked on her personal mission to examine the innumerable layers of the system in which she grew up and in which she previously took pride.

Boots On The Ground By Dusk is the saga of Mary's journey to the truth-an account of the glaring inconsistencies presented to the Tillman family about Pat's death in tandem with the endless changing of stories and cover-your-ass behavior exhibited by the Army. No intelligent human being could blithely accept such discrepancies, and Mary Tillman is nothing if not intelligent. She has refined the process of researching, questioning, fact-checking, and cross-referencing to an art form. She had to-for her own sanity and to honor her two soldier sons. All of the facts are there in her book, as they are in detail in "The Tillman Files." A litany of "why" questions occupies Pages 227-229 of the book and reveals Mary's thought process as she grapples with glaring government contradictions. As I read it I kept mentally shouting, "Keep digging Mary, keep digging!" And so she did.

At one point she has a conversation with Dr. Justin Frank, author of Bush On The Couch, a brilliant psychological analysis of George Bush, Jr.:

"Hello, Dr. Frank. I'm Mary Tillman. I don't want to waste your time. I'm calling to ask you a question. Do you think it's possible that this administration orchestrated my son's death?"

"Sad to say, yes.">/blockquote>

Mary states,

"I'm positively stunned by his response. I thought he would gently tell me that he doesn't believe the administration is very honorable, but it would never do something so heinous as to have a soldier killed."

"You believe they killed him?" Mary numbly asks.

"I think it's possible. Mrs. Tillman, I'm a psychiatrist. It would be unethical and irresponsible of me to tell a grieving mother to pursue such a thing if I didn't think it was possible."

Mary has come to believe that Pat's death was orchestrated as a public relations strategy to gain support for the Iraq War in 2004 around the time of the Fallujah carnage and as the war was becoming increasingly unpopular in the United States. Shortly after Pat had enlisted, he received a letter from Secretary of Defense, Rumsfeld, thanking him for enlisting and leaving the NFL to serve his country. Moreover, Mary cites a memo from Rumsfeld, to then-Secretary of the Army, Pete Geren, "indicating that Pat was a very special young man. The language Rumsfeld used was that Pat was 'world class' and that they should keep an eye on him." Mary states, "I'm not sure what that meant, but writing something like that, writing a letter to Pat, obviously he's going to be concerned when he's killed. He's going to want to know what happened." Thus Rumsfeld's denial of a coverup of Pat's death is, to say the least, extremely suspicious.

Dazzling headlines like "Football superstar makes the supreme sacrifice for his country" could only bolster the Pentagon's cause. Might it not make the war more palatable? Might it not inspire more young people to enlist?

At the time of her conversation with Justin Frank, Mary's focus is entirely on the death of her son, but not being Mary and not having lost a son to a government public relations campaign myself, I'm well aware that as heinous as it is to "have a soldier killed", it is even more heinous to have 3,000 people killed on September 11, 2001, and that is exactly what happened, at New Pearl Harbor

As is always the case when people begin digging more deeply for the truth, Mary discovered an epidemic of anomalies among other military families who related their stories to her-stories of lies, coverups, and ghastly betrayal. Standing beside the Tillman family was Stan Goff, co-author of "The Tillman Files", not merely motivated by the desire to complete his investigative report, but by his own history as a Vietnam warrior and long-time outspoken critic of American imperialism. Stan, whose son is serving in Iraq, has worked tirelessly to support other military families and

Earlier this month (July 15), the Associated Press released "Probe Of Tillman Misinformation Goes Nowhere" which stated that "A 'striking lack of recollection' by White House and military officials has prevented congressional investigators from determining who was responsible for misinformation spread after the friendly-fire death of Army Ranger Pat Tillman in 2004, a House committee said Monday." In her book, Mary Tillman recounts in detail Congressman Henry Waxman's probe of Pat's death, but this most recent AP story relates that "The panel has failed....It received a flurry of White House e-mails but no documents about friendly fire. It interviewed several top White House officials: 'Not a single one could recall when he learned about the fratricide or what he did in response'."

The silence remains unbroken.

Mary Tillman isn't following the sales of her book on a regular basis. That isn't why she wrote it. She simply wanted to get her message out into the world-the message of a grief-stricken mother whose pain and rage drove her to relentlessly pursue the truth about her son's death. Most reviews of the book have been positive. That the New York Times review of Boots On The Ground called it "clumsily written" reveals nothing in my opinion but the reviewer's inability to grapple with the deeply disturbing realities Mary Tillman and "The Tillman Files" have uncovered.

Boots On The Ground By Dusk and the investigative reporting of Stan Goff and Mike Ruppert are the only in-depth accounts we are likely to have for a very long time, if ever, regarding the murder of Pat Tillman which was one of myriad tragic facets of the U.S. military campaigns in Afghanistan and Iraq. Both Mike and Stan in their individual writings have comprehensively documented the motivation behind these wars and the reality that both of them will be prolonged, pointless projects that will grind on for many years. Stan has written extensively about the use of asymmetric warfareFrom The Wilderness

Unflinchingly, Mary, Mike, and Stan have revealed to the world a war machine without conscience that has devastated individuals, cultures, nations, and land with no regard for anything except the profits of war and America's insatiable thirst for oil. After reading their exposes, the mind reels with imagining how many more lies have been told to military families about the deaths of their sons and daughters. It is axiomatic that empires, without exception, decline and fall, and it is equally true that as they do so, courageous individuals who refuse to be pawned or conned come forth to expose the empire's nakedness. Mary Tillman has proven that one need not be a professional journalist or a decorated warrior in order to do so but merely a mother who will settle for nothing less than total transparency about the death of her son.

It is precisely the lack of conscience, mentioned above, which makes incidents like the Tillman murder and coverup not only possible but routine. Truth To Power has published numerous stories and articles on political ponerology Collapse

There are a number of alarming aspects to the "outbreak" of MDR A. baumanni infections:

• They are apparently arising out of the Iraq and Afghanistan theaters.
• They seems to have spread throughout much of the U.S. military medical facilities.
• There are increasing outbreaks in civilian medical facilities across the United States.
• The problematic AB variant is apparently the "culprit" (at least in civilian facilities).
• The AB under discussion is more than a "superbug."

All of these issues lead to concerns that something is going on that presents a threat to U.S. troops, the safety of U.S. medical facilities, and possibly to an array of medical facilities across the planet.

In September of 2007, Steven Silberman of Wired News wrote an extensive article on the AB outbreak called "The Invisible Enemy." There was a paragraph on the last page of the article set alarm bells ringing for me:

"When a team of geneticists unlocked the secret of the bug's rapid evolution in 2005, they found that one strain of multidrug-resistant Acinetobacter baumannii carries the largest collection of genetic upgrades ever discovered in a single organism. Out of its 52 genes dedicated to defeating antibiotics, radiation, and other weapons of mass bacterial destruction, nearly all have been bootlegged from other bad bugs like Salmonella, Pseudomonas, and Escherichia coli."

In 2005 there was a multiple city outbreak of AB infections. According to researchers, 97% of the cases they studied "belonged to one clone." In other words, 97% of the cases were a genetic match to each other even though they occurred in different cities. As with the recent salmonella outbreak, a bacterial clone means a single point of transmission. This offers a way to track the AB that is occurring to its source, but there are no reports that I found indicating this is happening.

What these two different reports - Silberman's and the doctors writing the multicity outbreak report - seem to be saying is that the MDR AB outbreak happening across the country is genetically the same "superbug," and that it is an radically "upgraded" bug.

From a November 2004 Center for Disease Control (CDC)report we know that there were increasing reports of AB infections in those being treated at military medical facilities in Iraq, Kuwait and Afghanistan. This was later reported to have spread to the Lundstahl facility, and then to Walter Reed, and then on to other military medical facilities in the United States.

There has apparently little action taken to communicate between the U.S. military and civilian medical groups (including the CDC) regarding the AB infections coming out of the Afghanistan/Iraq theaters, even though there have been concerns about the threat since 2002. Finally, in 2007 there was a testing of shared reporting in the military health system on AB cases. In other words, not only is the military not systematically reporting to U.S. civilian health officials, but they are not communicating within the military health system itself. Is this just another case of systems failure that we have seen over and over under the current Bush administration, or is there something else going on?

As a lay person looking at what information does seem to be available, I have several questions that I wish those with the medical and biological background would investigate.

1. Does the "upgraded" nature of the MDR Acinetobacter baumanni infection indicate a natural evolution, or engineering? If engineering, who made it and for what purposes?

2. After at least 6 years of known infections "in theater," why has there not been action to:

• a) track down the source of the infections and stop (or control) it;


• b) set up an effective military tracking and monitoring system;


• c) set up an communication and monitoring system with civilian facilities;


• d) communicate with the public about this issue?

We have a serious nation (and international) health threat, and it does not seem to be being either addressed or appropriate warnings issued. I believe that the entire AB issue is being kept deliberately quite. Whether that is simply the military wanting plausible deniability as they have with numerous other issues (the effects of atomic testing, Agent Orange, Gulf War Syndrome, the effects of depleted uranium, etc) so that they can refuse to treat veterans for service-related medical conditions, general military protocol, or covering up of weapons research, this is a threat to both those within military service and civilian populations. Therefore, it becomes critically important that we continue to increase public awareness and push elected representatives to address the issue. (How to contact your representatives)

Related Information and Sites
Multicity Outbreak of Carbapenem-Resistant Acinetobacter baumannii Isolates Producing the Carbapenemase OXA-40. Karen Lolans, Thomas W. Rice, L. Silvia Munoz-Price, and John P. Quinn. Antimicrobial Agents and Chemotherapy. September 2006, p. 2941-2945, Vol. 50, No. 9

Assessment of Existing Health Level 7 Messages to Establish Electronic Laboratory Reporting in the Military Health System: focus on acinetobacter surveillance. Riegodedios et al. CDC 2007.

Home From Iraq: Acinetobacter Baumannii. JC Jones MA RN. Healthline. 9/06/2007.

http://www.acinetobacter.org/

I encourage you to examine the map of outbreaks at Acinetobacter baumannii from Iraq: The Coalition of the contaminated. Unfortunately, I cannot reproduce it here. Then compare it to the map of U.S. military bases below.

The map above is from National NAGPRA map link - Military bases in the contiguous United States, and is available as a pdf download.

(And here is a link to the listing of US military hospitals and medical centers. )

To the best of my knowledge, at no time since the Civil War have troops faced the situations that current troops are facing - repeated deployments, endless "stop loss" periods, deployments when judged by the military as unfit to deploy, and the deployment of both parents at the same time. Then, to magnify the damage of these policies, there is lack of services for, and deliberate obscuring of, the injuries and traumas received. One of the major consequences of this situation is a continued increase the suicide rate of serving and released troops.

Thanks to the obfuscation and outright lying of the Department of Defense (and the VA), it is difficult to get an exact grasp of the number of troops dying by their own hands. The stigma within the military of reporting and seeking treatment for emotional and psychological issues certainly complicates the problem. The numbers of those struggling is staggering.

According to a just-released Rand Corp. study, 320,000 troops who served in Iraq and Afghanistan suffer traumatic brain injury and 300,000 troops suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder or major depression. The PTSD numbers are probably artificially low, as the stigma surrounding mental health diagnoses is strong in our culture. There is also a disincentive within the military toward seeking help, as those who do are often cited for "patterns of misconduct" and then discharged, which further stigmatizes them and can have a lasting impact on them in civilian life. (Invest in veterans, not war)

However, traumatic brain injury, PTSD, depression (or some other injuries) does not mean that those troops will be relieved of deployment - or receive necessary treatment and support. In fact, they may actually get redeployed. According to a May 7, 2008 report by USA Today, more than 43,000 troops determined to be medically unfit for combat have been deployed to Afghanistan and Iraq since 2003. This was the situation for Sgt. Chad Barrett who died by his own hand on February 2, 2008 while hospitalized in Mosul. Sgt. Barrett had suffered traumatic brain injuries in 2003 and 2005, but continued to be redeployed. Those injuries damage the portions of his brain that controlled anger and anxiety - as documented by VA doctors - had been "permanently damaged."

Barrett has a copy of a letter from her husband's commander, Capt. Karen Baker, urging the Army to medically discharge Barrett because his mental illness - he attempted suicide in June - left him unfit for duty.

The Army, though, says Barrett was given the go ahead for war duty.

"Chad Barrett was cleared by SRP to deploy prior to his deployment, that is about as much as we can tell you," brigade spokesman Maj. Mike Humphreys wrote in an e-mail from Iraq. SRP refers to the soldier readiness processing system at Fort Carson that determines whether troops are ready for war. (Casualty of a hidden war)

Thanks to discovery in the class action lawsuit by Veterans for Common Sense, we now know that there are 1,000 suicide attempts among troops per month. According to an investigation by CBS News, "more than 6,250 American veterans took their own lives in 2005 alone. That comes to slightly more than 17 suicides every day" (Hushing Up Crisis Of Suicide, Mental Scars). Current conflict veterans are from two to four times more likely to commit suicide than those within the same age groups in the civilian population (TimesOnline, 11/15/07).

While the Pentagon refuses to admit it, it is clear that repeated deployments (and the consequences thereof such as relationship difficulties and loss of employment) as well as PTSD and other emotional issues underlie the surge in suicides and suicide attempts.

Senator Jim Webb (D-Virginia) wrote:

"Our troops and their families are under unprecedented levels of stress due to the pace and frequency of more than five years of deployments,"

From the floor of the House, Senator Patty Murray (D- Washington) stated:

"Our brave service members who face deployment after deployment without the rest, recovery and treatment they need are at the breaking point." (Concern mounts over rising troop suicides)

Not unexpectedly, the number of suicides is higher for those from the Guard and Reserve:

A Department of Veterans Affairs analysis of ongoing research of deaths among veterans of both wars -- obtained by The Associated Press -- found that Guard or Reserve members accounted for 53 percent of the veteran suicides from 2001, when the war in Afghanistan began, through the end of 2005. (AP, 2/12/08)

America suffers an epidemic of suicides among traumatised army veterans

At least 6,256 US veterans took their lives in 2005, at an average of 17 a day, according to figures broadcast last night. Former servicemen are more than twice as likely than the rest of the population to commit suicide.

Such statistics compare to the total of 3,863 American military deaths in Iraq since the invasion in 2003 - an average of 2.4 a day, according to the website ICasualties.org.

The suicide rate among Americans as a whole was 8.9 per 100,000, but the level among veterans was at least 18.7. That figure rose to a minimum of 22.9 among veterans aged 20 to 24 - almost four times the non-veteran average for people of the same age.

The National Alliance to End Homelessness, based the findings of its report on numbers from Veterans Affairs and the Census Bureau. Data from 2005 estimated that 194,254 homeless people on any given night were veterans. (All veterans - not just from the current occupations)

Yet the Department of Defense and the VA continue to lie, hide, and refuse to treat the troops. A press release in August 2007 denied there was any problem:

"We have not yet seen an increase in suicides in multiple deployers or those who have been there longer; we may over time," Ritchie said. "We're certainly looking for that and certainly wanting to do everything we can if we do see that as an issue to mitigate any of those factors there. The senior Army leadership is paying very, very close attention to these issues."

Then we have Dr. Ira Katz (chief of medicine for the VA) sending out an email that stated:

"Shh!" begins one e-mail from Dr. Ira Katz, the head of the VA's Mental Health Division, advising a media spokesperson not to tell CBS News that 1,000 veterans receiving care at the VA try to kill themselves every month.

"Our suicide prevention coordinators are identifying about 1,000 suicide attempts per month among the veterans we see in our medical facilities. Is this something we should (carefully) address ourselves in some sort of release before someone stumbles on it?" the e-mail concludes. Glantz, FPIF, 5/09/08

Glantz also reports the following damning information:

The high number of veteran suicides weren't the only government statistics the Bush Administration was forced to reveal because of the class action lawsuit.

Another set of documents presented in court showed that in the six months leading up to March 31, a total of 1,467 veterans died waiting to learn if their disability claim would be approved by the government. A third set of documents showed that veterans who appeal a VA decision to deny their disability claim have to wait an average of 1,608 days, or nearly four and a half years, for their answer.

Other casualty statistics are not directly concealed, but are also not revealed on a regular basis. For example, the Pentagon regularly reports on the numbers of American troops "wounded" in Iraq (currently at 31,948) but neglects to mention that it has two other categories "injured" (10,180) and "ill" (28,451). All three of these categories represent soldiers who are so damaged physically they have to be medically evacuated to Germany for treatment, but by splitting the numbers up the sense of casualties down the public consciousness.

Here's another number that we don't often hear discussed in the media: 287,790. That's the number of returning Iraq and Afghanistan war veterans who had filed a disability claim with the Veterans Administration as of March 25th. That figure was not announced to the public at a news conference, but obtained by Veterans for Common Sense using the Freedom of Information Act.

Despite denials, it seems clear that the VA does not want to acknowledge the problems, and doesn't want to provide the necessary services. A psychologist at a PTSD military medical facility in Texas told staff to diagnose "adjustment disorder" rather than PTSD:

"Given that we are having more and more compensation seeking veterans, I'd like to suggest that you refrain from giving a diagnosis of PTSD straight out," Norma Perez wrote in a March 20 e-mail to mental-health specialists and social workers at the Department of Veterans Affairs' Olin E. Teague Veterans' Center in Temple, Tex. Instead, she recommended that they "consider a diagnosis of Adjustment Disorder."

VA staff members "really don't . . . have time to do the extensive testing that should be done to determine PTSD." (Lee, Wa. Post, 5/16/08}

Time is not the only "issue." Disability payments for "Adjustment Disorder" are far less (compensation for less than six months usually and without compensation) than for a diagnosis of PTSD (which may make them eligible for over $2,500 a month in compensation (Lee).

So we have a situation where more troops have died by their own hand (by several magnitudes) than have been killed in combat (or combat related activities). I am shamed by the Bush administration's ongoing lying and lack of support for the veterans. I urge people to contact your representatives to investigate and support legislation to provide much needed services and treatment. I also encourage you to contact Senators Jim Webb and Patty Murray to thank them for their efforts on behalf of the troops. Further, help support veterans organizations such as Veterans for Common Sense and Operation Dignity who are fighting the good fight.

Lastly, I would also encourage you to read an excellent editorial by Joseph Galloway in the Salt Lake Tribune - Here's how we can really honor veterans on Memorial Day. Below is a teaser for the article.

The Pentagon and Secretary of Defense Robert Gates, a former university president, oppose better educational benefits for veterans, for fear that offering them might entice more young troops to leave the service for the campus. This is odd, coming as it does from a president who talks a lot about supporting our troops, from a senator who draws a 100 percent military disability pension and from a former college president who surely knows the value of higher education. Others among us wage endless battles and rage against the very agency charged with providing medical care, disability pensions, mental health care and counseling and, yes, the parsimonious educational benefits for all who've served and sacrificed for our country - the Veterans Administration. In recent months, VA officials have been caught providing false statistics that far understate the true number of veterans, old and young, who commit suicide. They've ordered doctors to diagnose fewer cases of post-traumatic stress disorder and to substitute a diagnosis of a lesser, temporary stress disorder. The young people marching home from war and trying to rejoin civilian society, get a job and start a life aren't having much luck, either. The government's own statistics show that fully a quarter of returning veterans are employed in jobs that pay wages that put them below the poverty line, or less than $21,000 a year if they're single.

The pressure this unit is under is amazing. During the current tour, they have been deployed to escort supplies from Kuwait throughout Iraq. They are on duty for days at a time, and on the road for months at a time.

I really encourage people to watch this program. It IS what the troops are going through.

I oppose this war. I oppose everything about this war - from the total destruction of an innocent nation, to the abject disillusionment of the citizens of our country regarding their responsibility for this destruction. I oppose the irreverent disregard for the laws of our constitution by not only our administration and our congressional representatives, but also the citizens who should be rising to oppose such actions, who have chosen instead to believe in the empty promises of national organizations wasting their efforts on counter-productive multi-million dollar spending sprees of futility in opposition to equal efforts by the administration.

It is becoming more and more difficult for me to see the difference between the leadership of the right and the leadership of the left.

Twelve Million Dollars, and more, spent by one organization in one year - opposing a war - Wasted.

How do you oppose something so destructive, so inhumane, so violent - so massive that it destroys an entire country with its incursion, and threatens to destroy its country of origin as well? How do you oppose something as hateful and angry as war and have any expectation of succeeding, when that opposition is simply a superficial public relations fiasco with no substance behind the banners, posters, puppets, television ads and interview slander?

Twelve Million Dollars and more - Wasted.

In the years since the immoral, unethical invasion of Iraq, I have witnessed as the administration and congressional leadership of our country have laid waste to the opportunities they were given to help direct a conscientious nation of citizens to become true leaders in a world aching to move closer to international peace. As they became more enraptured with the false sense of power their positions gave, those elected to serve the people have come to stand as nothing more than gatekeepers to a downgrading society whose true colors are showing as tempers rise, power continues to corrupt and in their angry response, the organizers of the opposition to present policies demonstrate how little conscience plays into any decisions regarding a new direction for the people.

Protesters, counter-recruiters, activists, American citizens all give voice to their opposition to the war - but no one seems to want to organize an alternative for what they are talking so hard to try and stop. Everyone is yelling for peace.

WHAT is peace?

How will we know when it gets here if we do not stop yelling, if we do not stop spending in futility, if we do not get started implementing the real actions necessary to ensure that peace has a place from which it can grow lasting roots?

So - you don't like what our administration is doing? Well - oppose it. Not by yelling at it, but by taking action against it.

Our constitution gives the power to the people - and it is through Congress, not the Presidency, that power manifests itself.

Our Congress is not representing the voice of the people so... Fire Congress!! ... And use your voice to do more than simply complain about the lack of representation. BECOME the representation you are demanding.

Across the nation members of counter-recruiting organizations are opposing the actions of military recruiters; shutting down recruiting stations, handing out publications outlining the lies being told by military personnel, telling students the horrors of what they will face if they join today's military.

What is being offered as an alternative? Once success has been achieved and that student, that "poor manipulated young innocent," is out of the grasp of the military recruiter, what is there to give in place of what they had been promised for enlisting?

I have been on military installations. On every installation ordained to be necessary to the defense of our nation, multi-million dollar deals have been made with contractors across the country. On every installation, state of the art education centers are being built, along with shopping malls, and brand-new three bedroom homes with energy efficient appliances now cropping up in gated military sub-divisions complete with playgrounds, swimming pools, gymnasiums, and neighborhood associations.

To a young man or woman who grew up believing they would never have a way out of the poverty that was their childhood reality, the military offers every dream come true. With no assurance that their life was going to matter anyway, it is not a stretch to understand why they are willing to sign it away for a chance at the success they were certain to only dream about before the military offered its collateral.

What are you giving them in return once you have succeeded at turning the next generation of potential leaders away from their perceived "dreams come true"???

Twelve Million Dollars wasted - on puppets, television ads laden with empty promises, and false visions of hope soon dashed when the real support needed to help these youth move in a strong, positive direction never manifests itself.

Veterans are returning from war to face financial problems, marital problems, physical problems and the psychological and emotional trauma of the reality of war. As protesters and activists, American citizens, proclaim the need to ensure that concerns of the veterans are met with resources for recovery, millions of dollars are spent trying to force bankrupt government agencies to provide the care their inadequate services cannot possibly achieve. "We, the people" protest the actions of our government officials, and rather than work, applying funds to programs which would foster change, spend countless millions simply complaining that nothing is getting done.

Twelve Million Dollars, and more - Wasted.

American citizens lose more and more every day as their elected representatives to government spend a few hours each week offering reassurances that they are working on the "people's behalf", only to return to their self-serving offices once they believe the insecurities of the people have again been temporarily placated.

Corporate entities rake in profits as jobs for Americans are sent overseas; quality and durability sacrificed as cost-effective measures are implemented. Struggling local businesses close their doors while leaders of the opposition to our present administration, representing "the people", protest loudly of the need to save the American economy, spending millions on banners when those millions would be better spent rebuilding our shattered local communities.

We are wasting millions of dollars publicly denouncing our administration's policy of wasting our tax dollars on efforts that only benefit themselves.

Twelve Million Dollars, and more - Wasted.

I once thought talk was cheap - I have since learned - the high price of talk is money wasted, laws disregarded, the needs of the people reduced to empty promises and freedom destroyed.

"There was a consensus that last year was not productive...Our expectations were dashed." Mine were not.

The voice of the people has to become more than just a voice if the people hope to become what they proclaim themselves to be.

Twelve Million Dollars, and more - wasted.

Freedom deserves far more than wasted millions and wasted breath.

A few hundred yards down the road from the main gate of Fort Stewart, the newly built Chapel Complex was recently christened. Red brick, with angled lines and a pristine white steeple; looking more like a courthouse than a place of worship, the building stands ready for the soldiers who will be returning from their year long deployment to Iraq next spring.

Across the street, on the grounds of the PX shopping mall stands another display of shiny pinwheels planted in the ground. The sign behind the display reads, "These pinwheels represent the 138 cases of spousal abuse confirmed at Fort Stewart in fiscal year 2007." In 2006 the sign read "131 cases of spousal abuse" and another read "191 cases of child abuse." What will 2008 bring?

My husband filed a conscientious objector application in 2005. He did so because of his firsthand experiences with this war, and with the abusive treatment the soldiers and veterans faced as they struggled to fulfill the oath they took to serve their country. He did so to call attention to the threats and intimidation military personnel faced, and the lack of respect they received for their service.

The military command refused to accept the application, choosing to find a way to put my husband in prison as punishment for his choice instead. As we worked to see that due process was given to my husband's choice, I had the opportunity, one evening, to be in the same room with the command sergeant major of my husband's battalion. I took the opportunity to ask this senior NCO if he would mind my asking him some questions, civilian to civilian. He said "No" so I asked.

"Have you ever had to kill anyone?"

The man put his hands behind his head, stared up at the ceiling and responded: "Yes I have had to shoot to kill many times."

"Didn't it bother you at all to know that you had killed another man?"

With his hands still behind his head and one leg crossed over another, he leaned back in his chair and said "You know I've got 22 years in the Army. You learn that you don't think about what you do, you just do it. I've never seen the results of my shooting. That's the problem with the 'boys' they're bringing in today. I tell them and tell them in training, don't look back - just shoot 'rat-a-tat-a-tat' (holding his hand out as a weapon) and don't look back. When we was first starting out, the soldiers I came in with and me, we all learned in training, shoot and look away - walk away but don't look at what you've done. If I could get anything across to these new 'boys' it's that they can't look. I see them; they shoot and then look to see if they hit their target, if they did good, if they followed orders. I see their eyes and there's fear, and I know right away if there's going to be trouble with that one or the other by their face after they see the result of the explosion. We've got to teach these boys to shoot and look away, and they wouldn't be so bothered by what they did."

"What do you think of the war?"

The man didn't move much. He hunched his shoulders a little, looked across the desk and said "That's political stuff and I don't get involved in none of that political stuff. I do my job. If I have to go back to Iraq I go, and I take care of my soldiers. I care about my soldiers, but I don't have no business paying attention to whether the war is good or bad, or if the president did right. I have 22 years in, and I have to do what I'm ordered to do so I don't ask no questions."

"What do you think about conscientious objection?"

This time he leaned forward a little, stretched and took a breath before he re-crossed his legs and folded his hands back behind his head. "There ain't no true conscientious objectors. I've been in a long time, and I've seen only one or two that might have been real religious. It's been my experience that when a soldier brings in an application, I always sit and talk with them and ninety-nine percent of the time he's not a conscientious objector he's just got major problems with his command. Whenever anyone brings in one of those applications it's because there's a bad command and we got to do something about fixing that. If we do the soldier ain't got no more problems and he can go on doing his duty, but we got to get him to talk and tell us what the command is doing wrong, 'cause it's not religion, it's a bad command."

Throughout the conversation my husband was standing beside me at parade rest, having invoked his right to not respond to any questions the sergeant major wanted to ask him. At the time he was under investigation by the command which claimed his conscientious objector application was simply a protestation of the war, not worthy of their time. The command sought to charge him with "making disloyal statements" and "disrespecting a superior officer' for having spoken out in an effort to find help for the soldiers in his unit being threatened and abused by his command.

My husband went to prison. The sergeant major went back to Iraq.

Now, suicide rates are increasing among military personnel. Spousal abuse is becoming more of a problem and no doubt more children are afraid of the empty look they see in their returning parents' eyes.

We tell the soldiers to do what they can to get out of the military - to avoid returning to Iraq. It will not solve the problem.

Building a multi-million dollar chapel complex on one military installation is not going to fix what has been broken inside a man or a woman who has been to war.

The anger and rage of those who have been in combat will not go away simply because we tell them to get out while they can, to "walk a different road" without showing them where that road will lead.

Going to prison to speak out about what is happening to our military personnel is not going to make things right, not unless we, those of us who claim to care about our "troops" find a way to work together to do our part.

We can't think that simply taking someone out of the war also takes them out of combat. In war, the rage makes sense and the killing of an enemy can be easily justified. War doesn't end when the soldier comes home, and the nightmare of combat only grows darker when the battle waged is waged inside; intended to protect a place and loved ones that once meant peace from the anger of an experience that cannot be left behind.

When these men and women return home and face those they love, that anger can become a seed inside which feeds and grows off of memories of the horrors, the nightmares and the need for release - but at home there's no battlefield on which to let go, there are only children, a spouse, or themselves when they come to fear the damage they could do if left uncontrolled, and when "help" is only a word, too many will lose the battle.

People say they understand - trust me - you don't; not if you haven't felt it inside, or stood helpless wondering what more can be done to simply bring peace to the heart of the person you want so much to heal.

Holiday lights are far from bright enough to light the path of those who need the peace this holiday is meant to honor.

The pristine steeple on Fort Stewart's new chapel complex may see the day when every seat in the building is occupied. Experience tells me that those in attendance may find sanctuary but they will not find peace, even if the room is full.

Men and women volunteered to put their lives on the line to defend the peace our laws were meant to give. Their service has been abused by everyone who has stood and watched this travesty of war unfold; offering words of help only to turn and look in another direction when more than words were needed.

People will write and say, "They volunteered. They got what they deserved."

The war is coming home and if Americans are not willing to stand together to fix what we are all responsible for breaking, they will know firsthand what it means to "get what is deserved."

It's time to stare into the eyes of what we have allowed to happen.

Peace is not simply a word, and war does not go away when you look in a different direction.

What do you know of war?

They perked further with the reports that :"

Some of the dead and wounded appeared to have suffered bullet wounds and some residents said Afghan security forces began shooting wildly after the blast.

"This attack was carried out by the Taliban, but only 10 people were killed by the blast. The rest of the victims are from gunfire from the security forces," said Abdul Qadir, pointing to what appeared to be a bullet hole in his dead son's neck.

The immediate question? Who were the bodyguards or security forces? Were these Afghans, or private contractors. I have been checking periodically to see if any news of who these shooters were. Finally that is emerging.

Ultimately over 89 people died in the events in Baghlan: "70 schoolchildren, six MPs and half a dozen other people dead" (Sydney Morning Herald). We already knew that 10 people died from the suicide blast. However, the reports are that "security forces" fired into the crowd of school children trying to flee the scene.

The new information comes from an internal UN investigation into the events in Baghlan - an investigation which is ongoing. While Karzai has not explicitly named any given security company, Karzai is "exasperated" with the private security companies.

A particular source of complaint has been the dozens of security companies that operate with little oversight, often employing former guerilla fighters. The Karzai Government has raided several of these companies, seizing equipment and weapons.

"This bodyguard culture is killing Afghanistan, and we have to remove it," Mr Karzai said.

A report prepared for the UN by the group Swisspeace found that Afghan and foreign security companies in Afghanistan employ between 18,500 and 28,000 men. It said the companies were viewed as creating a "sense of distrust and insecurity". Reasons include their ties to local militia bosses, their heavily armed presence, their rudeness toward civilians and their alleged ties to crime (SMH)

From an AP report by Jason Straziuos on November 18th:

An internal U.N. report obtained Monday said bodyguards protecting parliamentarians fired indiscriminately into a crowd after a suicide bombing and that children bore "the brunt of the onslaught."

The report also said there was no evidence to show authorities had tried to identify those behind the shootings or bring them "to account for their crimes."
...
"Regardless of what the exact breakdown of numbers may be, the fact remains that a number of armed men deliberately and indiscriminately fired into a crowd of unarmed civilians that posed no threat to them, causing multiple deaths and injuries," the report said.

The Sydney Morning Herald report clearly implies that the "bodyguards" or "security forces" involved in the Baghlan incident included private security contractors. No article I have found to date identifies which companies those contractors were from, and there is largely a shroud of silence over the event and the details of any investigation.

This silencing is not dissimilar from the actions of contractors in Iraq, and active intervention by the United States to keep it so. However, we can thank the Center for Public Integrity for a detailed tracking of contracts in Afghanistan and Iraq in their Windfalls of War research. While over $20 billion had gone to "unidentified foreign contractors" in Iraq and Afghanistan, Blackwater has $26,550,802 ($485,149,590 combined Iraq & Afghanistan) and CACI $4,369,050 ($87,760,610 combined) in contracts in Afghanistan, and DynCorp with a combined $1,838,156,100. These are the contracts for 2004-2006 only.

Afghanistan rarely gets much coverage. Certainly the Baghlan incident has received little coverage. Perhaps because it is such an egregious action where body guards fired indiscriminately into a crowd of children. The attempt to spin this into the "worst terrorist attack" in Afghanistan, begs the question of who the "terrorists" are. As does trying to blame the events on the Taliban. Between spin, lack of coverage, and the reporting of every Afghan death as a terrorist death, it is necessary to look at the reports with a skeptical eye. It is difficult to see how 70 children gathered to hear members of the Afghan Parliament could possibly be mistaken (or counted) as terrorists. Likewise, the suicide bomber - who in death bears the lives of 10 of the deceased - had done his "job" before bullets started flying. Not asked is why they were firing at all.

Related articles of interest
Private Warriors. Frontline, PBS, 6/28/07. transcript.

Windfalls of War. Center for Public Integrity.

Just when things were looking up. Barnett Rubin. IPS, 11/23/07.

She told of a nightmare reminiscent of one I had lived through just a short time ago - with added trauma I have come to understand. I have learned there are many forms of combat, not all on the frontlines of a battlefield, but all can manifest themselves in ways only those who have lived through them will ever fully comprehend.

Serving with the 4th Infantry Division, her husband had deployed to Iraq in 2005 and spent a year in combat before returning as someone she was no longer sure she recognized. As he struggled to find his way back to her, he continued to work on post, and to ask for the help he knew he needed in dealing with the nightmares, the anger, the uncontrollable rages, mood swings, and the suicidal feelings. His commander said there was nothing wrong with him another combat tour wouldn't fix, and didn't do much more than tell the couple they needed marriage counseling. On R and R from Iraq for the birth of his child, he attempted suicide with the anti-depressants he had been prescribed while he was in Iraq. A judge ordered him to a military behavioral hospital and when he was released the mood swings, rages, nightmares and anger only grew worse.

He was again told he would be sent to a military hospital for treatment, and his wife was told she would be able to follow him shortly thereafter. He was sent to Ft. Stewart, Georgia, where he was immediately placed in the behavioral unit of the Army hospital on post. The doctor there, rather than recognize the problem, saw the soldier as the problem, accused him of "malingering" (a common military command practice) and told the soldier he could not get out of deploying to Iraq. The soldier's request for conscientious objector status was not even considered, and he called his wife to let her know he would rather die in the states confined to his barracks room than return to die in Iraq; he was holding the rest of his pills and refused to tell her which barracks he was in.

She could have broken down, and after enduring months of nightmares, abusive behaviors and rage by her husband, she could have walked away - her heart was stronger than all of that and she began making phone calls, getting no answer at the number listed for the ambulance service or the staff duty desk. Finally she reached the MP station and they were able to find him. He was placed in the hospital and the ridicule continued. Seeking guidance from many organizations who offered to help, she soon learned she was on her own. An attorney managed to have the soldier released. At first he was ordered to stay on a cot in the battalion headquarters, unable to remove his uniform or even shower. The day before she contacted me, he faced a summary court martial and was given 30 days confinement and a less than honorable discharge. He managed a quick call to her to let her know it was almost over, and wasn't able to say anymore. She was left on her own to find out where he was incarcerated and how he was doing. He eventually contacted her. He's safe and being cared for, and with time off for good behavior this soldier is almost home.

For this couple, the worst is over, or is it just beginning??

I know the nightmares, I know the anger and I know the mood swings. I also know how it tears your heart when you realize how little most people understand. Watching the changes that come to a soldier who has waged a war for peace that is far more difficult sometimes than the battles fought on the ground in Iraq, it sometimes feels as if all sides are working against that peace ever taking hold.

We watched our love ones go to war, knowing the apprehension, but loving them for doing what they believed they must to keep us safe, to give to their country and to honor the service of those who came before.

We ached for them while they were gone; never sure when a phone call might come and when they did return alive we ached again, wondering when the rest of the person they had left behind in the war zone would finally catch up and come home too.

The price they paid for their freedom was greater than most will understand and theirs is a freedom many others will fight to dampen, afraid of what that freedom represents.

It's not about who is to blame for an immoral, unjust war. It's not about who is responsible for ending the war, or who should receive credit for the work that eventually brings us peace. It is about recognizing our personal responsibility in the madness and about accepting our role in bringing about the changes needed to repair the damage.

It's not about why a soldier enlisted to serve, not when their conscience is torn apart by the abuse of that service; abuse from all sides until all sides begin to work together to end the war and put into place programs for reconciliation and recovery for all those affected by what we have faced in the name of freedom and human rights.

It is about reconciliation. It is about recovery. It is about doing what is right within ourselves to see that the changes we implement have a lasting impact for peace, and for healing.

It's about understanding what has been given, setting aside what can be taken, working together to make things right.

It's about the need for peace.

The LA Times has a two part video Marlboro Marine. It captures a different reality of those who serve and have served - the haunted hero, and the transformation that comes from the realities of combat.

James Blake Miller became an iconic image of the Iraq veteran. I doubt he chose this role in addition to struggling with what he had been through. Given having this role thrust upon him, he speaks eloquently to both the experience of combat, and to some of the things that would ease is path. I strongly encourage everyone to take 15 minutes of your time to watch the video.

I am torn in my response to soldiers past and present. "Those who have served." The message they and we are told is that they have sacrificed for us. I know that many feel that they have indeed done this. However, I know - and many vets know - that they served a different cause than protecting America and the liberties we enjoy. If it is a bitter and confusing issue for me, I can only imagine what it is for those who have survived. The leaders order war, but clearly for purposes other than what is sold to the public - and even more strongly to those in the military.

However, the veterans have served (and are serving). They are being reformed, transformed, in permanent ways. Each is injured in the line of duty, whether those injuries are visible or not. How does a nation compensate that, or recognize that?

My best suggestion and effort is to do what we can to stop the sending of people to fight, and kill. Perhaps there is such a thing as a "just" war. From what I know, that would be an exceedingly rare event. The overwhelming majority have not been "just." Virtually all have been avoidable. Yet generation after generation, nation after nation, the victims of war are the haunted heroes also known as "those who serve."

So my heart breaks with the voice of James Blake Miller as he speaks to the horror and insanity that touches tens of millions. I pray that he, will move from victim to survivor to actor in the world. However, I know that such experiences are never put behind one. They linger in the quite moments and haunt the dreams. They creep like shadows flickering at the edge of your vision. They are the startled response to the odd sound or scent. It is a feeling of guilt that rises unexpectedly like gorge in the throat. It seems they are there forever, and the victory is being able to put them in context quickly, breathe, and move on.

For the veterans, I wish you strength and healing and compassion. The world does need you. We need you to speak your truth. To those of you who have served, and fight the demons, and now confront the country and the world on the truth of war and power, you have my undying gratitude.

Brian Willson has continued to be an activist for peace. His essays for peace and justice are posted at S. Brian Willson Essays. His most recent article is The Trauma of Civilization for Our Species: War and Its Victims. In "War and Its Victimes," Mr. Willson takes a historical tour of war, and war from the Korean war to the present. He notes that in the last 5,500 years 14.500 major wars have taken place "claiming the lives of at least 3.5 billion people." The twentieth century was particularly lethal with over 50 million war fatalities. He concludes the essay as follows:

We in so-called democratic societies seem to actually believe that our political structures represent the people, rather than power. It is time to drop that belief such that we might be enabled to become disobedient to power. Instead, we can choose to become personally responsible with all our relationships as they manifest in the communities where we live. As we revolt from obedience we may learn that we are totally capable of remaking ourselves into an earth community rather than a bunch of plundering consumers. Our lives, and the life of an inhabitable planet, depends on it, beginning right where we live. Let us globalize liberation in each of our communities. Why not make a leap into local self-reliant community where democracy is direct, i.e., radical. This is a fantastic opportunity for all of us to become awake and vital. Or, we can choose business as usual, and stumble off the cliff to a terrifying death below-omnicide.

Members of the "Nuremberg Actions will be gathering at the site of the protest that led to Brian's sacrifice on September 1. Below is the information from David Hartsough.

Note: I have removed the personal contact information because this is an open site, and the email notification of this event went out to a specific group

September 1st, 1987 - September 1st, 2007: After 20 Years, Remembering, Reflecting and Recommitment

Join Brian Willson, Ken Butigan, and many others from Nuremberg Actions for the 20th Anniversary of the Navy assault on Brian, Dave Duncombe, Duncan Murphy and all of us in Nuremberg Actions on Saturday, Sept 1 at the tracks at Concord Naval Weapons Station at 10 am.

This will be an opportunity for Remembering, reflecting on the meaning of that day and the Nuremberg actions in which we blocked trains and trucks carrying bombs and munitions to kill our brothers and sisters in Central America for over three years, and Recommitment to the work still ahead!

For those who need directions, come out highway 4 and turn north on Port Chicago highway till you come to the tracks opposite the entrance to Concord Naval Weapons station. It will likely be hot, so bring sunscreen and protection from the sun.

...

The media will also be present including Kevin Fagan who is now with the SF Chronicle. Please feel free to share some of what you see as the importance and significance of that day and Nuremberg Actions for the world.

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Please share with others who were part of Nuremberg Actions or who you feel might like to join us for this gathering.

Hope to see you Sept 1.
....

Warm Greetings and Peace,

David Hartsough

The claim that we are increasingly in control of the battlefields in Iraq is an assessment arrived at through a flawed, American-centered framework. Yes, we are militarily superior, but our successes are offset by failures elsewhere. What soldiers call the "battle space" remains the same, with changes only at the margins. It is crowded with actors who do not fit neatly into boxes: Sunni extremists, Al Qaeda terrorists, Shiite militiamen, criminals and armed tribes. This situation is made more complex by the questionable loyalties and Janus-faced role of the Iraqi police and Iraqi Army, which have been trained and armed at United States taxpayers' expense.

Buddhika Jayamaha, Wesley D. Smith, Jeremy Roebuck, Omar Mora, Edward Sandmeier, Yance T. Gray and Jeremy A. Murphy are the authors. They point out the error of trying to look at Iraq, and the security situation in Iraq, from an American perspective. What matters is not that Americans can walk the streets, but "the experience of the local citizenry." Security and the future of Iraq lies in the experiences of Iraqi's, and that has not been secure or improving.

Likewise, they point to the complexity of the environment that U.S. forces are in. Different factions are supported in different areas and at different times. The shifting alliances of the U.S. inside Iraq merges with the struggles for power and revenge across the country combine with the inability to enforce basic laws to create a constantly shifting (and threatening) environment which the troops operate in daily.

In a lawless environment where men with guns rule the streets, engaging in the banalities of life has become a death-defying act. Four years into our occupation, we have failed on every promise, while we have substituted Baath Party tyranny with a tyranny of Islamist, militia and criminal violence. When the primary preoccupation of average Iraqis is when and how they are likely to be killed, we can hardly feel smug as we hand out care packages. As an Iraqi man told us a few days ago with deep resignation, "We need security, not free food."

In the end, we need to recognize that our presence may have released Iraqis from the grip of a tyrant, but that it has also robbed them of their self-respect. They will soon realize that the best way to regain dignity is to call us what we are - an army of occupation - and force our withdrawal.

Until that happens, it would be prudent for us to increasingly let Iraqis take center stage in all matters, to come up with a nuanced policy in which we assist them from the margins but let them resolve their differences as they see fit. This suggestion is not meant to be defeatist, but rather to highlight our pursuit of incompatible policies to absurd ends without recognizing the incongruities.

We need not talk about our morale. As committed soldiers, we will see this mission through.

Extended tours, rapid redeployment, and too few troops to carry out the tasks demanded of them have left much of the force beyond exhausted. The article states that troops are on mission for five days and then "off" for two. Those are not five eight hour days, but five twenty-four hour days. That is patently insane. They are being set up for disaster.

When exhaustion of this level sets in, people make mistakes. Their decision-making suffers. Their reflexes slow. Psychological issues move to the foreground. Two days off does not cure this type of fatigue.

It does not help, that in an effort to increase recruitment, that the Army has lowered its standards - particularly in the area of "mental illness."

The consequence is a deep-seated problem of retention and recruitment that in turn, says Caswell, has led the US army to reduce its standards for joining the military, particularly over the issue of no longer looking too hard at any previous history of mental illness. 'It is a question of honesty, and we are not investigating too deeply or we are issuing waivers. The consequence is that we are seeing people who do not have the same coping skills when they get here, and this can be difficult

What is not discussed in this article is the increasing use of "private contractors" to make up for the shortage of troops. Steve Fainaru of the Washington Post writes of the "millions in cost overruns" being paid for contract security:

The U.S. military has paid $548 million over the past three years to two British security firms that protect the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers on reconstruction projects, more than $200 million over the original budget, according to previously undisclosed data that show how the cost of private security in Iraq has mushroomed.

And the reason those costs are growing out of control? "The private security industry has surged in Iraq because of troop shortages and growing violence."

But there was a "surge" was there not? A "surge" of 20,000 troops that turned into 90,000? That 90,000 additional forces were not simply new (or returning) forces injected into Iraq, but not cycling deployed troops out of Iraq by extending their deployment.

And hence the "fatigue" that Beaumont discusses.

Six thousand seven hundred and ten lives for a failure of will.

Six thousand seven hundred and ten lives for vested corporate interests.

Six thousand seven hundred and ten lives for a coward's political strategy.

Damn the Democrats, and damn the Republicans. Their gamesmanship is being paid for in the blood of others. How dare they do this? How dare we let them do this?

This is NOT a war. It is an OCCUPATION. It is a bloody occupation to be sure, but an occupation all the same.

Once more the Bush Folk are talking about regime change - this time to clean the militia influence (Al-Sadar) out of the Iraqi Parliament. How exactly are they planning the removal of a democratically elected block of another government? Who is in charge? Is there even the illusion that the Iraqi government is independent to the U.S.?

Six thousand seven hundred and ten lives (and likely far more) as collateral damage for a political calculus that is doomed to fail no matter what.

Remember the Kurt Russell movie Soldier? In "Soldier" Russell plays a genetically selected interplanetary soldier (war fighter) who get wiped out by a new generation genetically engineered model. Or maybe you remember Jean-Claude Van Damme in Universal Soldier. The theme here is that soldiers who have been killed are "reanimated" and "enhanced" to become a super fighting force. Well, for quite some time the Pentagon has been working on creating the future "warfighter."

A trip through the public portions of DARPA's (Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency), is enlightening. I know that every time I visit, I can't help but think "If this is what is public, then what are the classified programs?" DARPA has a wide ranging research program on "improving" soldiers. However, DARPA (and indeed DoD "vision" documents) rarely use the term "soldier." They prefer the term "warfighter." The goal of many of DARPA's programs regarding warfighters is to improve them through a variety of means:

• overcome muscle fatigue and lack of sleep;
• directly convert "cellulose" into nutrients (grass and cardboard comes to mind);
• interfacing human and machine as with the HAND program;
• implanting nano-technology for a number of purposes.

Sharon Weinberger over at Wired wrote a fairly extensive article on a project that has gone out to bid colloquially referred to as "Luke's Binoculars" (though officially known as Cognitive Technology Threat Warning System (CT2WS)). This project involves merging a binocular function with extreme range and "threat detection" into the prefrontal lobe of warfighters' brains (graphic from Wired below).

Ah, the prefrontal lobe?

The basic activity of this brain region is considered to be orchestration of thoughts and actions in accordance with internal goals.

The most typical neurologic term for functions carried out by the pre-frontal cortex area is Executive Function. Executive Function relates to abilities to differentiate among conflicting thoughts, determine good and bad, better and best, same and different, future consequences of current activities, working toward a defined goal, prediction of outcomes, expectation based on actions, and social "control" (the ability to suppress urges that, if not suppressed, could lead to socially unacceptable outcomes).

Many authors have indicated an integral link between a person's personality and the functions of the prefrontal cortex. (Wikipedia)

"Luke's Binoculars" are not some long term, far future, research project. No, the bids have gone out with the goal of having them in use by Special Forces in three (3) years.

Now these projects - including the "binoculars" - seem fairly permanent to me. Once you have modified a warfighter, can they ever not be a warfighter? Do they then become a piece of military equipment? These projects certainly give the name "GI" (Government Issue) a whole new level of significance.

Are we really willing to commit people for life (not retirement) to be extended military equipment? Certainly the government seems willing to do so. Do we need permanent warfighters to fight a never ending war? Might such "enhanced" humans be useful in other areas besides war? Or might the technologies have uses beyond the military? I can think of a number of them actually. For example,workers that don't need to rest and can eat the recycling to keep going. Of course, much like the warfighter, the worker must become property as well - another resource of service until removed from service - sort of a high tech version of Jennifer Government by Max Barry.

The implications of the direction being forged are into a future that I, personally, find terrifying. I can't believe that we must be on this path. I must believe that we can, and will see the travesty we are becoming and turn aside.

Moral compass? Exactly what moral compass is that? Is it the moral compass of the Bush administration which has said that none of the international agreements - from preemptive attack, through the Geneva Convention - apply to the United States? Is it the moral compass which came up with a lengthy justification for approving the use of torture? Is it the moral compass of those who hired contractors to oversee U.S. forces while they "softened up" prisoners for interrogation by using torture? Perhaps it is the moral compass that has shown such high regard for the lives of Iraqi non-combatants that the Bush administration and Department of Defense have refused to count either the number of Iraqi casualties or even fatalities (meanwhile denying the figures that have been released utilizing internationally accepted methodologies).

I think the "ethical behavior" assessment is very much in line with the moral compass that has set the "rules of engagement" in Iraq. In fact, I am surprised that the report shows the troops as "ethically minded" as they are.

What exactly is Patreaus going to "remind" the forces in Iraq of? The ethics that have been put forward by the Bush administration, or the ethics that are part of the U.S. Military Code of Ethics? If it is the latter, how long would Patreaus last as head of command in Iraq?

If the U.S. were following an ethical "moral compass" we wouldn't even be in Iraq.

Summary of Findings (page 42)
Soldier and Marine Battlefield Ethics was assessed using survey items and focus questions developed ny the MHAT IV members per the request to CG, MNF-1. Four Battlefield Ethics areas were assessed: attitudes, behaviors, reporting and training. Less than half of the Soldiers and Marines believed that non-combatants should be treated with dignity and respect and well over a third believed that torture should be allowed to save the life of a fellow team member. About 10% of Soldiers and Marines reported mistreating an Iraqi non-combatant when it wasn't necessary either by destroying their property or hitting or kicking them. Less than half of Soldiers or Marines would report a team member for unethical behavior, instead preferring to handle it themselves at a team level. Although reporting receiving ethical training, nearly a third of Soldiers and Marines reported ethical situations in Iraq in which they did not know how to respond. Having a unit member become a casualty or handling dead bodies and human remains were associated with increases in mistreatment of Iraqi non-combatants. High levels of anger and screening positive for a mental health problem we also associated with the mistreatment of Iraqi non-combatants.
-- Mental Health Advisory Team (MHAT) IV Operation Iraqi Freedom 05-07 Final Report (17 November 2006)

We are less than a month away from the beginning of a 20,000 person "surge" (excluding support forces) and already we are surging those forces by more than 10,000, with estimates of more increases over the next year. This does not look like either a stabilization or a withdrawal from Iraq.

We have been hearing that the Army is "broken" for over two years. Perhaps that is why the "Army is Ordering Injured Troops to Go to Iraq." Troops who were deemed injured and unfit to deploy are now being deployed with the 3rd Infantry Unit from Fort Benning. "Some are too injured to wear their body armor, according to medical records." This will be the third deployment for the Division.

I must say that I do not see what good it serves to decimate the armed forces of the United States. Since the neo-conservatives have a clear hope of U.S. imperialism and that requires a functional military, what purpose is served by the current strategy? The only thing that might be served is another goal which is the privatization of all governmental functions (except collecting and dispersing money). Perhaps we are headed for a created necessity of a mercenary force. Almost have of the armed "forces" in Iraq at this point are mercenaries - with CACI and Blackwater being the main contractors. We also know how incredibly expensive that proposition is.

Cheney's scoffing "They can't stop us" in response to the debated about Iraq in the Congress, rings in my ears.

The pneumonia, and also drug resistant inflections of wounds, catheters, and other invasive items is caused by a variant of Acinetobacter Baumannii (also known as A. baumannii). A couple of google searches turned up some interesting information, but not all that I was looking for. The MDR variant of A.baumannii seems to be relatively "common" in soldiers with battlefield wounds in both Iraq and Afghanistan. There are also various hospital reports on it in Saudi hospitals. The bacteria is found in the soil and easily contaminates typical battlefield wounds. What was not clear was where the drug resistance comes from. My guess is that it is not in the soil, but in the field hospitals - and now VA and community hospitals in the U.S.

What I could not track down was any count of how many troops have had the MDR infection; what those infections were; and how many had recovered. I also could not find if this had become a broader problem in U.S. hospitals. At least one of the articles I read stated that the bacteria had spread to community hospitals. Further, that public hospitals receiving injured troops were not being forewarned of the possible infection, nor what measures needed to be taken to contain it.

MDRs and MRSAs are bad public health news. Apparently virtually all wounded troops are being dealth with as if they are contaminated with MDR A.baumanni in the field hospitals in Iraq and Afghanistan. With the news of the disrepair of Building 18 of Walter Reed, it is clear such considerations are not being taken with those residents (at least). Many of the troops are from rural areas and small towns. If wounded are transfered back to community hospitals, contamination there could be devastating. Medical facilities are few and far between in rural America. Closing one if there is an outbreak creates a life threatening lack of medical access.

From what I read, this contamination is growing and far from contained. It appears that little is being done at community hospitals to address the issue - or even an awareness contamination may be an issue.

I am very interested in knowing 1) what is happening with troops coming home, and 2) whether this is a growing community hospital issue. This could very well turn into an "Agent Orange" or "Gulf War Syndrome" scenario, and it would be good to get ahead of the curve. We already know there is a depleted uranium problem because of US munitions (even thought the DoD denies there is a problem). The A. baumanni issue poses a larger threat to the US population. If you have any information, or come across any, please send it my way.

Below is a collection of pertinent articles

Science Daily / Yale, 3/01/07, Genome Sequence Shows What Makes Bacteria Dangerous For Troops In Iraq

Silberman, 1/22/07, Wired, The Invisible Enemy in Iraq

Brown, 11/08/06, Independent, Superbug brought back by Iraq war casualties

Effect Measure, 6/24/06, Wound infections in Iraq and here

** Mike the Mad Biologist, 8/28/05, Acinetobacter baumannii: There's a New Bug in Town

Haran, 12/22/04, Healthology, Rare Pneumonia in Iraqi Soldiers

CDC, 11/19/04, Acinetobacter baumannii Infections Among Patients at Military Medical Facilities Treating Injured U.S. Service Members, 2002--2004

Tufts: Alliance for the Prudent Use of Antibiotics, August 4, 2005, Drug-resistant Acinetobacter baumannii bacterial infections rising in American military

Cole, 7/14/04, Honolulu Adviser, Drug-resistant 'superbug' traced to war in Iraq

Conachy, 10/23/03, WSWS, 17 deaths not included in the US military pneumonia investigation

Benjamin, UPI, 9/17/03, UPI, Mystery Pneumonia Toll May Be Much Higher

Acinetobacter Baumannii - site

They are also supposed to move from building 18 to building 14 within the next couple of weeks. Building 14 is within the grounds of Walter Reed, and visitors - including press - must get clearance and an escort. CNN and the Discovery Channel, which had scheduled to come in and do programs on the situation have been canceled by Walter Reed.

Also by Kennedy, Army denies patients face daily inspections. In this followup article, Kennedy reports that Army officials have denied that soldiers will be gotten up and subject to inspection. However:

But one Building 18 soldier said he woke up Tuesday morning to the sounds of sergeants pounding on doors and yelling, "Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!"

"I was like, 'Jesus Christ, I'm back in basic training,'" the soldier said.

The soldier said the outpatient soldiers at Building 18 were issued garbage cans and cleaning supplies and told to keep their rooms clean and organized because of all the officials who would be making their way through the building during the investigation next week.

Earlier in the week, soldiers in the unit said they had been told they would have to wake up at 6 a.m. and have their rooms ready for inspection at 7 a.m.

I saw Kelly Kennedy interviewed on Keith Oberman (2/28) and she said that she was not sure why this was all news. According to her the GAO had reported on the situation in Building 18 to Congress in March 2006. Which is what we had all suspected.

On a related matter, I watched the special on Bob Woodruff "Iraq and Back." In the report, Woodruff asked about the treatment of troops with traumatic brain injuries once they were released to local VA or private hospitals. He was told that the services and facilities that they needed were available. In following up on that, it became clear that troops were definitely falling through the cracks. Further, that beyond the 20,000 some troops that the military admits have been injured in Iraq and Afghanistan, that roughly 205,000 personnel had sought out medical care at the VA after since they have returned home. Those visits have been for substantive issues according to Woodruff.

Lies and spin again and again.

Walter Reed, the crown jewel of the VA system, was keeping injured veterans in nightmare conditions. We are told the deplorable conditions are partially attributable to five years of steady use by those injured in the US "war on terror." Is that even reasonable? Do you get mouse turds and dead cockroaches because of "steady use" - or "steady neglect?" I believe the latter. What is even more disingenuous is the response to the report - investigations and swift action.

To hear the folks from the (VA and Gates, Bush, Congress people, everyone asked) no one knew anything. If this level of neglect can go unnoticed less than a 30 minute drive from the White House, then what about beyond that? Is it even reasonable that everyone knew nothing?

I am sick of the bull. If any of them were so willing to take "swift action," then they wouldn't have needed a journalist's article to get them off the mark. If they cared at all, there would be nothing to expose. So the time is well passed for swiftness.

We also get the proverbial "investigations" to string out the issue until everyone forgets, or figures "surely that is fixed now."

Oh yeah. We have full confidence that now that their noses have been rubbed in the shameful treatment of wounded forces that they will clean up their act. Sure they will.

Graphic courtesy of Ed.

Mike also forwarded the following analysis from an acquaintance:

US military occupation forces suffered at least 135 combat casualties in the week ending Feb 13, as total casualties reached at least 52,194.The total includes 26,042 killed or wounded by what the Pentagon classifies as "hostile" causes and 26,152 (as of Feb 5) from "non-hostile" causes such as accidents, suicides and illness serious enough to require medical evacuation. US media divert attention from the actual cost in American life and limb by routinely reporting only the total killed (3,125)as of Feb. 13 and rarely mentioning the 23,530 wounded in combat. To further minimize public perception of the cost, they cover for the Pentagon by ignoring the 25, 539 military victims who suffered "non-hostile" injuries and illness (as of Feb 5), although the 3,125 reported deaths includes 613 (up six from last week) who died from those same causes. Another 154 American "contractors" have also been killed since they invaded Iraq. Although not defined as "casualties" since they have been discharged from active duty, as of July 20, 2006, a total of 152,669 U.S. military veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan had filed disability claims, over 100,000 of which had been granted.

Of important notice here are the disability claims. Those casualties seem to not be part of anybody's report. What is the true cost of this war?

Fair served in the Army from 1995-2000 as an Arab linguist, and as a contract interrogator in 2004. The excerpts below are from the article "An Iraq Interrogator's Nightmare." You may find a copy here if the Post archives that one.

A man with no face stares at me from the corner of a room. He pleads for help, but I'm afraid to move. He begins to cry. It is a pitiful sound, and it sickens me. He screams, but as I awaken, I realize the screams are mine.

That dream, along with a host of other nightmares, has plagued me since my return from Iraq in the summer of 2004. Though the man in this particular nightmare has no face, I know who he is. I assisted in his interrogation at a detention facility in Fallujah. I was one of two civilian interrogators assigned to the division interrogation facility (DIF) of the 82nd Airborne Division. The man, whose name I've long since forgotten, was a suspected associate of Khamis Sirhan al-Muhammad, the Baath Party leader in Anbar province who had been captured two months earlier.

The lead interrogator at the DIF had given me specific instructions: I was to deprive the detainee of sleep during my 12-hour shift by opening his cell every hour, forcing him to stand in a corner and stripping him of his clothes. Three years later the tables have turned. It is rare that I sleep through the night without a visit from this man. His memory harasses me as I once harassed him.

Despite my best efforts, I cannot ignore the mistakes I made at the interrogation facility in Fallujah. I failed to disobey a meritless order, I failed to protect a prisoner in my custody, and I failed to uphold the standards of human decency. Instead, I intimidated, degraded and humiliated a man who could not defend himself. I compromised my values. I will never forgive myself.

Fair goes on to condemn his lack of courage in not standing up against the abuse and torture, and to make clear that Abu Ghraib was not an "isolated incident." He feels that he must speak out, that silence only allows the policy to continue.

Some may suggest there is no reason to revive the story of abuse in Iraq. Rehashing such mistakes will only harm our country, they will say. But history suggests we should examine such missteps carefully. Oppressive prison environments have created some of the most determined opponents. The British learned that lesson from Napoleon, the French from Ho Chi Minh, Europe from Hitler. The world is learning that lesson again from Ayman al-Zawahiri. What will be the legacy of abusive prisons in Iraq?

Fair's article is eloquent and painful. It deserves "witnessing," which I sure a lot of Vets can understand. Nobody can take the nightmares away, but we can honor the effort to stand and face them, and to speak truth to power.

Specialist Dustin Donica was 22 years old and came from Spring, Texas - near Houston. He died from "small arms fire" on December 28, 2006 while on a "counter-insurgency operation" in Baghdad.

Apparently, the military did not realize that Dustin Donica was the 3000th soldier who had died when they notified his family. The family found out that bit of information on the internet after a steady stream of reporters showed up at their door.

Which brings us back to the "haunting" question. I agree, that the death of Dustin Donica is a "milestone" - at least an official one. Unofficially, it is likely we passed that number of dead troops some time ago. However, in order for this information to be haunting, the public needs to know about it. If people don't know, then there is no significance; no remembering - much less "haunting." So I did a google news search on Dustin Donica. Who was this stream of reporters and what did get published?

The Independent mentioned at the top of this article;

LA Times posted this on the "Military Deaths" page along with 12 other troops who had died:

Dustin R. Donica, 22, of Spring, Texas; specialist, Army. Donica was killed Dec. 28 when his unit was attacked with small-arms fire in Baghdad. He was the 3,000th U.S. troop to be killed in the war in Iraq. Donica was assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 509th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 4th Airborne Brigade Combat Team, 25th Infantry Division at Ft. Richardson, Alaska.

Postcrescent.com - a Wisconsin site - had a brief piece in their editorial week in review;

At OpEdNews-PA, writer Steve Young has been writing about every 100th service member who dies;

There are several from Texas papers: Galveston; Houston, KWTX, Dallas.

Then there are a smattering from Alaska where Fort Richardson is located, and other from small papers and radio stations from other states (Nevada, Iowa, Illinois). Mostly rural America.

CNN has not covered it.
ABC has not covered it.
CBS has not covered it.
FOX has not covered it.
Washington Post has not covered it.
Washington Times has not covered it.
The New York Times has not covered it.

MSNBC included it under an article titled Sunni anger spills into Iraq streets, and the AP put out a piece picked up by some papers (ie Spokesman Review).and an array of British papers covered it.

The general pattern of who did and did not report on the death of Dustin Donica is telling. Rural America, and the home of the brigade were informed. A handful of others in the US were generally informed if you read through lists of obituaries, or through a given editorial or news story. It is clear that the controllers of the "media" don't want people to think overly much about this. They don't want the 22 year old Dustin Donica's face (or anyone else's) associated with the 3000th death. That would make it all too real.

The Donica's said that 8 or 9 reporters were at their door within an hour of the notification (Independent). So obviously this was newsworthy. It just never made the news.

The following picture of Specialist Dustin Donica is from the Berliner Morgenpost.

My condolences to the family and friends of Dustin Donica, and to all those who will never have the opportunity to know or live him. He was not just a number - which is what such deaths have become - but a young man serving his country in a manufactured war. Should his death, or any of the tens of thousands of others - U.S. or Iraqi - haunt us? They certainly should. Will they? Not as long as they are just a number with no face, no name, no life.

Note: The picture is labeled in google images as "Dustin R. Donica ist der 3000 ..." The article link is http://www.morgenpost.de/desk/1162458.html, though it is restricted to subscribers.

The call for increasing the number of troops in Iraq is not popular with either the public or the troops. According to a Military Times poll, slightly over a third (35%) of troops served stated the approved of the way Bush is conducting the war, and only 41% still thought we should have gone to war. This is a significant change since a poll done in 2004 when the troop approval was 63% and 65% respectively. The responses of troops has drawn much closer to that of the general public.

The Army has been "stretched to the breaking point" for over three years. In December 2003, I wrote What to do about the thinning ranks?. Articles in the NY Times and Wa. Post also spoke of thinning ranks and the initial strategy for holding the line - stop loss orders. By January 2006, "stop-loss" had been "used to retain 50,000 US troops". However, other strategies have followed:

recalling the inactive reserve (a mistake they chose not to correct) - May 2004;

calling up the Individual Ready Reserve - June 2004;

coercing reenlistment by threatening immediate redeployment - September 2004;

adding "sugar" to reenlistment with signing bonuses - April 2005;

denying resignation to Reserve Officers;

the Army National Guard paying $2000 bonuses to Guard members who sign up new recruits.

perhaps most egregious of all is sending people who were seriously wounded back into combat.

Throughout it all, the number of redeployments have steadily increased. To argue that a "surge" will break the Army is an understatement. It has been broken for three years.

Recruitments have consistently fallen short, so they have changed limits and requirements numerous times to increase the pool. They have increased the enlistment age to 42. They have lowered educational requirements and the test scores. They have increased signing bonuses (up to $40,000) and educational benefits. They are barely breaking even.

The "new" strategy is to directly recruit more non-citizens. I am still waiting for the issue of immigration and military recruitment to collide. Something along the lines of the military as the fast track to citizenship. I know that this has to be under discussion somewhere. Unmentioned is that the number of contract employees in Iraq are estimated at 100,000. Many of them are on military or security contracts - we just pay far more for them than actual troops.

On January 1, 2006, The New York Times reported "Death Toll for the American Military in Iraq in 2005 Is 844, Near the Level for 2004. On December 31, 2006, that death toll had grown to 3003. Now, it seems that more troops - from where who knows - will be sent to stabilize the war we are not "winning or losing." I do believe that this sort of situation is called a "quagmire."

Will Bush get his additional troops? Can Congress stop him from getting those troops? That remains to be seen. Kucininch has suggested taking the last $70 billion appropriation from September of 2006 to withdraw the troops from Iraq, and to not approve to $100 billion request heading towards Congress. Other Democrats have brushed off either suggestion. However, the purse strings may be the only control that Congress can exert.

Yesterday (12/18/06), Robert Gates was installed as the new Secretary of Defense. In his speech, he stated:

"Failure in Iraq at this juncture would be a calamity that would haunt our nation, impair our credibility, and endanger Americans for decades to come."

Exactly what rock has Mr. Gates been hiding under? International polls for the last two years have consistently placed the United States, and George W. Bush, at the top of the "biggest threat to peace" lists. The United States lost "credibility" when we preemptively invaded a nation which was no threat to us for the purpose of "regime change." It is now known that both Bush and Blair knew that the case being made for the invasion of Iraq was a lie. [Many pieces of information have come out regarding this. The latest is Diplomat's Suppressed Document Lays Bare the Lies behind Iraq War (12/15/06 Brown & McSmith, Independent)]

It has also become clear that the continued occupation of Iraq is strengthening global terrorist recruiting, and that Iraq is now a "magnet" for external terrorists.

The U.S. destabilization of Iraq, the creation of a power vacuum, and the failure to either provide safety nor improved infrastructure, is part and parcel of the escalating violence Iraq is now experiencing.

The U.S. has "failed," and indeed it is a calamity. It has impaired our credibility. It will endanger the United States, and possibly the rest of the world, "for decades to come."

The people of the United States and those of Iraq have called for the U.S. to get out of Iraq. The Iraq Study Group calls for a phased withdrawal. The Generals are largely supportive of a draw down, re-tasking, and redeployment of U.S. forces (Wright & Tyson, 12/14/06).

However, that is not what Bush wants. He wants to "double down" U.S. forces. That means dramatically increasing the number of troops in Iraq, and for years - not a "surge." He wants this in spite of warnings that it will break the Army. Instead, Bush calls for an expansion of U.S. forces. It is not at all clear how a dramatic uptick in recruits will occur, nor how we will fund such an expansion. However, it is the Congress that must approve any increase in the size of the military. Predictably, the Democrat's leadership has said they will support a "surge" and sign off on the massive supplemental funding for the military.

Bush may need more troops for other adventures besides Iraq. Let's see, the Army, Airforce, and Marines are tied up in Iraq and Afghanistan. Who does that leave ...? Oh yeah. The Navy. Got to find something for them to do. Let's see. Why not send them to the Persian Gulf to threaten Iran. Yes, that is exactly what is happening. The Navy is massing in the Gulf to "warn" Iran - (or see the CBS video).

But back to Iraq. One has to wonder what has happened on the Hill. While most military pundits are saying "no way" to more troops, McCain (and Bush) are apparently talking to someone else. That someone apparently thinks that we have 35,000 more troops that can be sent to Iraq. There has got to be an issue here as Bush felt it was necessary to say there's no disagreement on troops for Iraq.

Meanwhile, al-Maliki (and likely the U.S.) are considering "re-Ba'athification." Maliki has been reaching out to former officers from Hussein's army to join the new Iraqi army. They are apparently not too interested as many decided not to show up to hear what al-Maliki had to offer. Why should they? After all, at least some of them have their own forces. For example, the ones who were called in to help the U.S. in Falluja.

We certainly do have a problem - in Iraq and Afghanistan. Further, the entire Middle East and South Asia are ripe for chaos. Major instability and conflict will suck in Russia, China, and others. Bush has set the stage for what could become a global conflict. The main question now is to how to avert a major conflagration. Somehow I don't expect the Bush team to come up with a saving strategy. Heck, they won't even talk to nations they don't like (North Korea, Iran, Syria). We leave that up to others (like Russia and China). That strategy dramatically increases their political and economic investment with those Bush won't talk to. Now that seems like a winning strategy - but for whom?

From the article:

Hashim al-Menti smiled wanly at the marine sergeant beside him on his couch. The sergeant had appeared in the darkness on Wednesday night, knocking on the door of Mr. Menti's home.

When Mr. Menti answered, a squad of infantrymen swiftly moved in, making him an involuntary host.

Since then marines had been on his roof with rifles, watching roads where insurgents often planted bombs.

Mr. Menti had passed the time watching television. Now he had news. He spoke in broken English. "Rumsfeld is gone," he told the sergeant, Michael A. McKinnon.

"Democracy," he added, and made a thumbs-up sign. "Good."

The marines had been on a continuous foot patrol for several days, hunting for insurgents. They were lost in the hard and isolating rhythms of infantry life.

They knew nothing of the week's news.

Now they were being told by an Iraqi whose house they occupied that Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld, one of the principal architects of the policies that had them here, had resigned. "Rumsfeld is gone?" the sergeant asked. "Really?"

Mr. Menti nodded. "This is better for Iraq," he said. "Iraqi people say thank you."

The sergeant went upstairs to tell his marines, just as he had informed them the day before that the Republican Party had lost control of the House of Representatives and that Congress was in the midst of sweeping change. Mr. Menti had told them that, too.

"Rumsfeld's out," he said to five marines sprawled with rifles on the cold floor.

Lance Cpl. James L. Davis Jr. looked up from his cigarette. "Who's Rumsfeld?" he asked.

READ THE REST

Yesterday, another soldier from Oregon died He was Spc. Douglas Desjardins (Surprenant) of Scio, and he was killed when his tank ran over an explosive. I watched the brief interview with his grief stricken mother on the local news. She said that Douglas loved the Army and was totally committed to his mission.

I have heard similar responses from grieving parents over and over again. Maybe the news sorts out those who have something different to say. I also have a number of students in my classes who have returned - sometimes only briefly - from Iraq and Afghanistan. From discussions with these students, and my guess most active duty personnel, current affairs are not at the top of the list. Sitting back and thinking about the political situation at home where the decisions affect everything about their lives are made, is also probably not on the top of their minds either. Other issues occupy their time, such as being under constant threat.

The response of "who's Rumsfeld?" is not at all surprising, but it is telling. Desjardins (Surprenant), served his country, but what mission was he totally committed to? Did he know that mission more clearly than those of us at home who have yet to receive any concise answer beyond "fight them over there so we don't have to fight them over here"?

Imagine how Hashim al-Menti must have felt in the face of such a response. Might he feel a serious disconnect and have huge concerns when the people who are there to "liberate" him? Here is a man who is "hosting" U.S. troops in his house. The placement of those troops on his roof making him and his family direct targets for anyone attacking those troops. He is intimately interested in the U.S. politicians who place those troops on his roof, but those who are on the roof do not share those interests.

I do not think this is unique to the current "war." The reality troops face is following orders. Reflection under fire is neither encouraged nor fruitful. In fact, it is perhaps best not to think too much about what one is doing or has done. One is locked in a never ending string of moments. Hurry up and wait, in an endless now. Does commitment to "the mission" have space in that "now?" Perhaps for some it does. Does "loving what your doing" have a place in that "now?" Perhaps it does. However, the real struggle for those who have served under fire once the fighting is over seems to be dreams of fear and blood and death that happened in that "now," but had no space in it.

Today is Veteran's Day. A day when the people of the United States honor those who have served our country under arms. It would be nice if while acknowledging their bravery and sacrifice, we acknowledge the truth of the transformation of their lives. Perhaps that is the true sacrifice that the troops make - their essential selves. The sacrifice of the path that lives might have gone. The sacrifice of carrying those memories for a lifetime. By not acknowledging and honoring this part of "service to the country" we allow generation after generation to "bravely serve" without question.

Do we need those who step forward (or who were drug forward) to serve in the armed forces? Unfortunately, yes; though I dream of a world where that is not necessary. Since we need them to serve, we should acknowledge and support the full nature of that service. Otherwise, the largest struggles of many become private struggles, and expressing them a tarnish on their "bravery and commitment."

The story by Chivers also points to another harsh reality. While our troops are locked in the moment, it is our responsibility of to ensure that the decision makers are making good decisions; that the cause in which they offer their lives is one of which they can be proud and can commit to. They depend on us to watch their backs - not just cheer them on. They depend on us to raise the questions, engage in the reflection, struggle with the broader issues. They also depend on us once they are home, to recognize the reality of their experience - not the myth of it. If we are going to treat our veterans as heroes, we must have the kindness of also acknowledging that they are human beings - not teflon coated images which shine and to which nothing sticks.

Perhaps I know too many Vets who struggle with the demons of their service to this country and not enough who seem to have come through "unscathed" by the realities of war.

A number of Veterans are part of the Uncommon Thought community. I thank you for your service, and I acknowledge that for many - if not all of you - that service did not end when you took off your uniforms. You continue to struggle with the experiences you had, and you fight on as civilians to ensure the accountability of our leaders and our citizens. You are indeed brave, and you are indeed heroes - living heroes who laugh and cry, yell and sing, write poetry and rant, march and stomp, have moments of rage and periods of intense clarity. For all of those things, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

By law, only 2500 IRRs may be called at a time. The Army started calling up their IRR in 2001, though most have been called up since 2004. The Marines have a pool of 59,000 IRRs to draw on. All IRRs may ultimately get the "opportunity" to serve on active duty again, as Bush's authorization lasts until the end of the "Global War on Terror" (BBC, 8/23/06).

The Individual Ready Reserve of the various services are those who have served their required time on active duty and be released. However, the military commitment extends beyond active duty. Troops may serve the remaining time in the Active Reserves, or they may go to the IRR. Most of those who opted for the Reserves have been deployed. Many of the Marines in the current IRR have already served in active duty in Afghanistan or Iraq.

Bush (and his policies) are losing support at home according to recent polls. While the administration continues to try and link Iraq to 9/11, increasing numbers of people are not buying it, and support for that American war in Iraq continues to drop. Meanwhile, there is growing evidence that the real winner in the Bush "global war on terror" is Iran. A recently released report from a British thinktank (pdf), Chatham House, argues that the various U.S. engagements and policies in the region have strengthened Iran's power and position. In particular, the controlling factors of opposing governments in Afghanistan and Iraq have left open doors for Iranian influence. Likewise, the recent conflict between Israel and Hizbullah, with full US support, has generated additional status for Iran.

The current policies seem to almost fit a plan to increase the regional influence of Iran, while building up the perceived threat against the United States. This seems to be a strategy aimed at ultimately legitimating an invasion of Iran by the U.S. The U.S. continues to make demands of Iran, that Iran will never support, while pushing for the rapid application of UN sanctions on Iran. Among those requirements, and certainly a condition of the sanctions, is that Iran stop its uranium enrichment program and allow full access to inspectors. However, the U.S. refuses to take "regime change" in Iran off the table.

As was clear in the Lebanon/Israel debacle, there is a major effort to build support for invading Iran and Syria. While the hope of the U.S. may have been to draw Syria and Iran directly into the Israeli conflict, that failed - so far. However, the UN is pushing for UN forces along the border between Lebanon and Syria, and Syria is saying they will not tolerate that.

It is looking as if Bush is hoping for an open conflict with Iran before he gets out of office. It remains to be seen whether the world will tolerate such a move, and if the U.S. will have to start a draft to full its forces for a multi-generational "Global War on Terror."

According to the NY Times article:

The report quotes Scott Barfield, a Defense Department investigator, saying, "Recruiters are knowingly allowing neo-Nazis and white supremacists to join the armed forces, and commanders don't remove them from the military even after we positively identify them as extremists or gang members."

Mr. Barfield said Army recruiters struggled last year to meet goals. "They don't want to make a big deal again about neo-Nazis in the military," he said, "because then parents who are already worried about their kids signing up and dying in Iraq are going to be even more reluctant about their kids enlisting if they feel they'll be exposed to gangs and white supremacists."

The Southern Poverty Law Center has an article by Stephen Barry, who is a former Special Forces officer and the National Alliance's (a supremacist group) "military unit coordinator." In it he recommends that Skinheads should join the light infantry.

"Light infantry is your branch of choice because the coming race war, and the ethnic cleansing to follow, will be very much an infantryman's war. It will be house-to-house, neighborhood-by-neighborhood, until your town or city is cleared and the alien races are driven into the countryside where they can be hunted down and "cleansed." Operations will consist primarily of patrolling, ambush, raids, cordon and search, search and destroy, assault on fortified positions, and point and area defense of White enclaves -- all light infantry missions.

When you go to the Army recruiter and tell him you want to be an infantryman -- and let me emphasize this, tell him you want infantry and accept nothing else -- your unit of choice priorities are, in order, as follows: 75th Ranger, 82nd Airborne, 101st Air Assault, 10th Mountain, 25th Infantry."

The issue of extremists in the military is not new. SPLC provides a timeline of "Extremism and the military." The timeline starts in 1953 with a "Marine Corps lieutenant general" who formed an anti-semitic group called the the Defenders of the American Constitution. After Tim McVeigh and the Oklahoma City bombing in 1996, the military cracked down on supremacists in the military. However, since the invasion of Iraq, the military has had recruiting problems. The need for troops has eased the restrictions on extremists entering the military (along with the loosening of a number of other exclusions including substance abuse, criminal records, and age).

The SPLC has sent a NY Times article:

The report quotes Scott Barfield, a Defense Department investigator, saying, "Recruiters are knowingly allowing neo-Nazis and white supremacists to join the armed forces, and commanders don't remove them from the military even after we positively identify them as extremists or gang members."

Mr. Barfield said Army recruiters struggled last year to meet goals. "They don't want to make a big deal again about neo-Nazis in the military," he said, "because then parents who are already worried about their kids signing up and dying in Iraq are going to be even more reluctant about their kids enlisting if they feel they'll be exposed to gangs and white supremacists."

The Southern Poverty Law Center has an letter to Rumsfeld (pdf) regarding this issue. In the letter it notes that DoD investigators "estimate that thousands of soldiers in the Army alone are involved in extremist or gang activity." Of 320 soldiers with known extremist connections, only 2 have been discharged.

This is a significant issue in regards to the potential of home grown (and trained) terrorists. It also could cause further problems of "incidents" in U.S. military theaters such as Iraq and Afghanistan. It by no means is an attempt to paint the entire military and those who serve as extremists.

This is an absolutely outrageous situation. First, that they utilized this device for four years and didn't catch the problem, and then that it took them another five years to figure it out. This is beyond negligence.

In searching for news reports on this, it is coming out in local news with no overall figures of Veterans possibly impacted. What numbers I could find were:

Portland, Or. 2200
Contra Costa 30,000
Tennessee 413
Rochester NY no number given.

According to the ContraCosta Times (the most informative article I found) the problem period could stretch from 1985 to April 2006. Twenty-one VA hospitals used the device. There is no single number for Veterans to call for more information. If you are possibly impacted by this, then I would recommend calling your closest Veterans Hospital , or the VA where you had the prostate biopsy done. VA officials quoted in the various articles state that the risk of infection is low but possible.

Can you truly understand what it feels like to watch in the darkness as your husband, loaded with weapons, chemical antidotes and somber anticipation, boards a bus to an airfield where he will board a plane that will take him to war? For those of you who have never been there - please don't say you understand. You never will.

The feeling of helplessness can be overwhelming - but you have to be strong when you realize that as much as the motive seems to be a duty to country, what it comes down to is that your husband will do anything to keep you safe - so the country benefits from the love you share.

The months of finding creative ways to take care of this man who has volunteered to deprive himself of everything that home and our way of life gives us simply because he has enough love in his heart to want to keep what he cares about safe, are months you live on the edge, but also with a strength that can only come from that love, and from a greater being who DOES understand. Who gives you what you need because it is the LOVE that He respects, and the support that the love gives for standing by someone who has made the choice to live by what they believe.

War is wrong. Taking the life of another simply because their choices are different from yours, is never right. But believing in something based on the knowledge you have is not wrong, and standing beside someone you love because you support their commitment to what they believe, will never be wrong.

It is the love, after all, that will eventually bring about right. Conscience grows because of love and understanding, not because of hate and anger. When you stand against the actions of another with anger, hate, and criticism - Conscience will run and hide - and defense mechanisms will take over - survival. If the world is one based on fear and hate, there is no room for Conscience while we are all busy defending ourselves.

War is wrong - but others don't learn that simply because you say it. Others learn it because they live it, they see it, and they are personally affected by it. Our government says that war must happen in order for there to be peace. Soldiers are learning for themselves whether to believe that or not. Many soldiers are dying, and many families suffer. But the soldiers have a choice at any time, and they need their experiences in order to know what to believe.

There are consequences, but we always have a choice. We can all choose to learn for ourselves, or to take the word of others. But the word of others can often be wrong for us. It is not up to the government to tell us what choice we should make. BUT - neither is it up to those who stand against this government to tell us what our choice should be. The price of freedom is high. No one has the right to decide the price another person should be willing to pay.

We can criticize the choices, but they are the choices we make. We are all volunteers - and those of us who gave, gave willingly.

Almost three years later, I watched as my husband, having made a moral choice and refusing to lower his standards regardless of the threats the Army threw at him, was led away to a van that would take him to a plane that would take him to a different kind of war.

It was our choice - going to peace. Based on the information we had, and knowing that we don't take our commitments lightly, we knew that we would face this duty to country together - the commitment we had made. Kevin to defend the constitution, the country and all that it represented as a soldier who had decided that he must live for peace and would no longer participate in war, and me as the one who would take care of everything that was ours while he was away.

Prison happened.

Can you truly understand what it feels like to watch in the bright sunlight while your husband, still wearing the medals of honor given for over 10 years of commitment to defending this country and its constitution, is forced into confinement by a corrupt command who seem to live for the false sense of power they felt by attempting to control this soldier rather than honoring his inalienable right to choose for himself. Do you know what it feels like to watch a man who volunteered for this service when so many others felt no responsibility to defend what they have been given, be taken into custody for standing for the very rights he had defended? For those who have never been there, please do not say you understand. You never will.

The feeling of helplessness can be overwhelming - but you have to be strong when you realize that as much as the motive seems to be a duty to country, what it comes down to is your husband knowing that he will do anything to keep you safe - so the country benefits from the love you share.

The months of finding creative ways to take care of this man who has been wrongfully forced to deprive himself of everything that home and our way of life gives us, simply because he has enough love in his heart to want to keep what he cares about safe, are months you live on the edge, but also with a strength that can only come from that love, and from a greater being who DOES understand. Who gives you what you need because it is the LOVE that He respects, and the support that the love gives for standing by someone who has made the choice to live by what they believe.

These "warriors" who have committed to defend us must know they have good things to return to - not cars, houses, money in the bank. They must have someone they can believe in who loves them for who they are, who will take them back and help them heal, a country that shows respect for their sacrifice by making the changes necessary to keep them from ever having to go to war again, and a country that will give them the freedom to make their personal choices when they say they have had enough of killing - without facing retribution from selfish people who aren't willing to stand to defend themselves.

We must understand the depth of their belief and the reasons for their commitment. We must realize that they do not see from the same perspective as us. For some, it is something as simple as knowledge. We must not be so bold as to believe that we are the ones who should be doing the educating. We must be humble enough to realize that perhaps it is us who need greater knowledge. Mostly we must remember that it is no one's right to demand that another choose as you have chosen, whether you are for or against war.

Change does not come by forcing it at the end of an M-16. Change does not come by loud protests, by abusing public property and by daring law officers to arrest us to make a statement against the establishment.

Change comes with patience, understanding and education. Change comes by example – by using wisdom to lead others to realize the best choice for them. Change comes by allowing others to live through the experiences they must, as difficult as it is to watch, so that they can come to their choices from within themselves. This is the only way they will truly believe.

To bring about the change we all are seeking, we must realize that the change must be a choice we all are allowed to make, as individuals and in our own time. We must learn to live our own lives, not to presume to know what is best for others. We must educate ourselves, and we must love others enough to give them the same opportunity for themselves.

Patience and acceptance of others is what will stop war. Education will stop war. Understanding will stop war. Humility will stop war. Realizing our place, accepting our responsibilities and remembering our humanity will stop war.

Love will stop war. You are all free to choose.

Monica is the wife of Sgt. Kevin Benderman, currently serving a 15 month sentence at the Ft. Lewis, WA stockade, for filing a CO application and not returning for a second combat tour in Iraq. Please visit Benderman Timeline and Benderman Defense to learn more. You may write to them at

I have found that coming forward with rape allegations costs my career. Do we have any rights? I am being retaliated against by my old commander who refused to take issue with me being raped. Instead he called me AWOL, knocked me down to an E-1 from an E-4, transferred me to inactive reserves under a general under honorable conditions. That was great, (not really, since all I wanted was a transfer and he refused 4 requests) until I was to be activated. Now that I was officially an E-1, I am supposed to go through this again? So I rejoin the guard, my new commander reinstates my rank after hearing my story. I join ROTC because I want to be an officer and help other soldiers from experiencing what I have experienced. I have a great job and receive stellar performance reviews.

I am working on my MBA with an emphasis on Health Care Management. Sounds great right? I thought so too. 3 weeks ago, one week before Christmas my unit served me with an order requiring that I wear the rank of E-1. With a little investigation I found out that my old commander put in the request. How it was an issue with him today I do not know and why he felt 4 years later it is justified I do not know. Oh but this gets better. He called my Battalion Commander and told him God knows what, I was "laid off" with one weeks notice. That was my Christmas present. No one will talk to me, it's just silence. I was able to keep my E-5 because of my ROTC contract. Lucky me right. Nope. Then I get a call from the ROTC Battalion commander, my old commander is going after my ROTC officer career as well. What can I do? I am meeting with the BC Thursday, I am just going to lay it out straight. What else can I do? I hate to quit, I am not a quitter. Damn!

Oh and PS
Did I mention that I was assaulted by the head of my school in AIT along with 3 other females who were raped by him. This was when I first joined. We filed CID complaints, we all were interviewed several times. Guess what happened? You guessed it, nothing. This E-7 kept his rank. He was transferred from the position but his new job was only 4 blocks from our barracks. Rumors of us being sluts circulated, and of course our cadre wasn't any better. There was never any follow up. During AIT, at least one female a month would get raped in the soccer field across from our barracks. You know what the Army did? Made it mandatory that females couldn't go anywhere without a battle buddy. Males however, were still able to enjoy their personal freedom. I guess it would have been asking to much to put up more lights and a couple of camera's on the field, or maybe have an evening patrolman on weekends? Hmmm...

Over 1200 soldiers have died in Iraq so that you can have a couple billion more dollars that should make you feel very good about yourself. The soldiers that have died for this sham that you have put over on the American people are so much more deserving than that. You are not worth the dust off of their boots. If you truly had respect for the military and the people that serve then you would not continue to kill them in your war. I joined the Army to protect my country and not to be a mercenary for a political despot. If you wish to put me in prison because of my views then you should make room for about 75% of the military. And while you are at make some room for yourself and about half of your administration. You are responsible for what happened at Abu Ghraib and you are shirking your responsibility. The commander in chief is not above the UCMJ, as you would like to believe.

I want to fulfill my contract that says I joined the Army to protect my country against all enemies foreign and domestic, and as far as I am concerned you are a domestic enemy of the United States. You care nothing for this country; you just care about the profits that are made from the oil in Iraq. That much is evident to me from the way the contracts were passed out to Halliburton and KBR. It must be nice to have the deck stacked in your favor by the president of the USA. Since your are raising the debt ceiling of America so that we can pay the bills that you have run up, why don't you forgive the debts of every one in the armed forces since they are the ones that are making it possible for you to make billions from the oil from Iraq. (Sgt. Kevin M. Benderman, Nov. 20, 2004)

From Monica Benderman
Dear Mr. Bush ,

Over one year ago, my husband showed the integrity of a true leader by facing everything he had committed to for you, in the name of - well, first there was national security, then it was freedom from tyranny for the Iraqis, then it was terrorism, then it was freedom for the American people, and what is it now???? Don't worry - we know. It hasn't changed. First it was oil, then it was saving face for a president who has never faced responsibility for his actions - EVER. But now, you are a president who has nowhere left to hide - you've seen for yourself, the doors are locked you cannot escape us.

You and your army of commanders could not allow my husband to have his voice - you actually thought you could control him - and the TRUTH he had to speak. You put him in prison, and thought you could take him away from me. You dared to believe we would go away quietly and leave you to your war.

Your army cannot control him, because the Truth will not hide. And the commitment my husband made to defend the constitution, to keep his soldiers safe - and to defend his home and his family - has a depth of integrity you will never understand.

Your doors are locking around you, Sir. And the jail cell that you put my husband in - the prison that confines all of our soldiers - this war and the horrific actions you have asked them to commit in our country's name - their doors are opening. I hope you feel every moment of this - and, Sir, I hope you know it comes from Kevin and me.

For over a year, my husband, Sgt. Kevin Benderman took everything the military could pound him with, and walked tall, held his head high - knowing the day would come when the "Truth would set him free." I walk every step with him, Sir - not to hold him up when his drugged stupor wears off, no, Sir - I walk proudly by my husbands side, because I know the leader that he is, and I know the strength that he has. It is an honor, Sir- to stand by his side and help him build his case against you, and all of those who have dared to disrespect him.

What is it that you and the commanders who imprisoned him are so afraid of?

Why was it that they were so willing to commit crimes, to tell lies and to manipulate evidence in my husband's case?

Because they have known from the beginning that he speaks the truth - and my husband's voice is a powerful voice. They should be afraid - you should be afraid - very, very afraid.

You dared to use this country to give yourself a place in history. You dared to use my husband's integrity, his honor and his commitment to duty, and thought that his dignity could somehow serve to make you great.

You were wrong, Sir.

One year ago, my husband told the world what he knew to be true. Attorneys - advisors told him it would be difficult to prove. Kevin and I knew better- and I stood beside him knowing we would face what you and your commanders would try to do, together, and in time, YOU would prove what he already knew. That is what happens with the Truth. He knew this - because he lives this - a powerful man.

You, Sir - wouldn't know the truth if it looked you in the eye. AHHH... I'm wrong - you know the truth and it terrifies you.

Those locked doors in Korea - they are the end of your road - there is no one to help you, and what you thought you had locked away is your worst nightmare now.

My husband will not be silenced - for he speaks the Truth, and it is coming for you.

Monica Benderman is the wife of Sgt. Kevin Benderman, Prisoner of Conscience, serving a 15 month sentence at Ft. Lewis Correctional Facility, for speaking out against war, and for daring to tell the Truth. Please visit their websites at Benderman Timeline and Benderman Defense

Monica and Kevin may be reached at mdawnb@coastalnow.net

Numbers - empty boots = downturned rifles in the sand = crosses on a field - on a beach - along the side of the road - continuous dollar counts on countless websites - crowds at the capitol - on buses - on subways = the million man march - are they people?

How many times have you been arrested for the “cause?” That symbolic confinement, did you forget that the game has you already confined? Who in their right mind would plan to be arrested? Did you smile while they bound your hands? Did they treat you like a person or a number?

What exactly do the numbers mean?

The giant board game of life. Who wins? The ones who know the most numbers?

The game does nothing - it tells us nothing - it means nothing, except one more number to add, one more number to shout out - one more candle to light.

DEAD - is dead. When the first soldier died, freedom lost its meaning. When the last soldier die ...

when will the last soldier die?

And - don't tell me that soldier died for our freedom. You are the only one who can earn your freedom, and it doesn't come from counting numbers.

Death does not bring freedom, except from the numbers - the endless numbers that are one more clever way to avoid the truth - no one can see the solution - everyone just keep counting.

STOP.

Dead is dead. So what is life?

As the parents are in the streets protesting number 2000, where are their children? Who takes care of them while the passion is the “cause”? Don't tell me your passion is to keep children alive -

The way to keep children alive is to be with them, to teach them a higher standard than what has come before by putting them before the cause. To raise them with love and to educate them to real life, not the game, so they grow up fearless and free - confident in themselves so others cannot control them.

As Congress is in its chambers counting the dollar signs in the spending measures they pass, where is the money? Just one more part of the game. Is the money being spent to improve life? Don't tell me a bridge in Alaska is in the best interests of the people. Does anyone know who the people are?

As you look at the rows of empty boots and crosses, is it a person that you cry for? Do you see faces of the sacrifice - a life, the tears? Pictures of you crying before a cross with no name, for what, did you know the man? They're gone because of war.

Why did you wait until now to care? Because now he's a number?

As you make plans to be arrested and carried off, counting the number of times you have been processed in this “war,” what is happening to people who have been falsely imprisoned for their beliefs? As you laugh, and drink together at the end of a day of civil disobedience, and plan the next venue to “do it all again,” do you remember that people are REALLY confined for telling the truth about the game, or is it that you really don't want to know?

How much is your life worth? I bet you know a number - what's in the bank account?

But how about life? Do you know the value of your life? Or have you not yet lost enough to care?

It cannot be worth much if you are still willing to play the game. You would not be relying on someone else to sacrifice for your cause.

The game is over - you want sacrifice - then make it.

If your life matters - then fight for it - don't claim another's sacrifice in your name, how cowardly. Fight for it - by living it with passion, and living REAL. Feel your own pain, don't pass it off to someone else and claim to believe in the “cause.”

If you want that bridge, then build it, don't force others to pay for something they will never use – and then walk across it proudly as if you care about the people on the other side.

If you want your children to live in freedom, then give them the freedom they deserve. Love them, teach them, make theirs the most important lives in yours, and show them that your stand is not a game.

If you want to be remembered for having gone to jail for a cause - then make it real.

Monica Benderman may be reached at mdawnb@coastalnow.net or monica@bendermantimeline.com

People told me that I abandoned soldiers. I did not. I chose to no longer fight in wars, because wars will never save lives, and they will never bring peace. I stand for soldiers that their lives and service be given the respect they deserve. People told me that I was a coward. They can believe that, but I know what it takes to stand on my principles against the tide, with the only certainty being that my wife stood with me. People told me that I was letting my country down.
I disagree. I am standing to defend what our constitution was founded on - moral principles.

We are learning hard lessons this week. The devastation brought by Hurricane Katrina is teaching us something important. As a country, we cannot take care of others until we have taken care of ourselves.

As a soldier, to continue to participate in war would have violated my own principles. I would have destroyed myself and others if I had not chosen to maintain MY integrity as my first consideration. To continue on the destructive path of war would have made me unable to help anyone to grow in positive ways, because I was not growing in positive ways.

I believe that we, as a country, need to return to our constitution, the foundation of America. This country has compromised its integrity and lost its moral courage. We can't help others until we have fixed ourselves."

(Sgt. Kevin Benderman, Conscientious Objector to War.)

Not long ago, two American soldiers were confined in prison for two months for having abused detainees in Afghanistan. A member of the US Army took the life of an innocent Iraqi civilian struggling in a river and received no confinement at all for what he had done. The US Army has a regulation that allows soldiers to follow their conscience, and the oath that Sgt. Benderman took when he became an NCO dictated that he "not compromise his integrity nor his moral courage." Sgt. Benderman was given 15 months confinement for refusing to compromise his integrity and for maintaining his moral courage by filing for Conscientious Objector status against the wishes of his command.

When Sgt. Benderman asked the officers in his unit to uphold their oath and follow the Army regulations, they would not. His commander violated the regulation and said that he would recommend disapproval, admitting in court that he did not even know what the regulation for Conscientious Objection was. He stated that this was "one soldier in his unit, and he had 181 more to worry about. I don't have time to worry about this one." They did not respect the regulations, they did not respect this soldier's service, and they did not respect this soldier's humanity. What were they afraid of? What was it that these officers could not face?

One officer was an Army chaplain, a "man of God." For almost a year, Sgt. Benderman tried to meet with this man to discuss his feelings about war and his desire to file for conscientious objector status. This man should have been the support, the facilitator for the entire process. Instead, this Army chaplain disregarded all of my husband's requests, giving lip service to everything my husband asked. At one point, in an email discussion of my husband's feelings about war, rather than try to counsel him and assist him with his application, this chaplain said, "Now I am not a Yes man, I will mix it up with anybody. If you would like to meet to debate with me, we can. We can talk about abortion and the atrocities that are committed every day in our country. I love debate." He saw his position as one in which he should try to change my husband's beliefs, not accept them. But for SIX months leading up to deployment, this man would never meet with Sgt. Benderman.

In a letter to Sgt. Benderman this Army chaplain wrote regarding my husband's application for conscientious objection, and decision to no longer participate in war; "I am ashamed of the way you have conducted yourself. I hope you will see your misconduct as an opportunity to upgrade your character and moral behavior for your own good and the good of your fellow man."

That chaplain is still serving in Iraq, with many young soldiers seeking answers to their own questions, and facing death every day. How will he counsel them?

The commander who said that he "did not have time to worry about this soldier" is still in Iraq, with many young soldiers expecting him to lead them, and to keep them safe. How many more does he not have time for?

Sgt. Kevin Benderman did think about his country, the soldiers he served with and his commitments. He gave it careful consideration, and he did so for over a year. He tried to seek counsel from the one man who should have understood and supported him as he developed his beliefs. His commander didn't think this soldier mattered.

Almost 2000 American soldiers and thousands of uncounted innocent civilians have died in this conflict. When will "integrity and moral courage" begin to matter?

Sgt. Kevin Benderman sits in confinement at Ft. Lewis, Washington. His crime? Making a choice. He chose Peace.

It's not about one side winning and the other side losing. Not to Sgt. Benderman. It's about having knowledge. We all have the right to know the truth about our options, and to be educated in our choices. We deserve to know the truth, and in truth shall come the freedom we all want, the freedom we claim to be fighting for.

Freedom is a personal choice, it is personal responsibility. This comes when every person uses the knowledge he has been given to do what his conscience tells him he must. It is not the reward for dying. It is not the reward for one side winning.

No one can decide for another that war is right or wrong. Each person will have to come to that on their own.

No one can tell another that their sons and daughters died for nothing or for a noble cause. All we can do is tell the truth about the cause, the good and the bad. It is up to each family to know which choice their son or daughter made.

America is at war with itself these days, more than any other enemy we have faced. There are two sides, and no side is winning. As each battle ensues, the divisions become greater, and the goal, PEACE, becomes further from reach.

Every soldier made his choice. Every soldier continues to make his choice, now. The families who love these men and women make their choice as well. The question - did we have the knowledge to make the choice?

Soldiers died. Did they die for what they believed in? Did they believe in an honest cause? Were they given all the knowledge they needed to make the choice for themselves that came from truth? Were their hearts and their consciences betrayed?

Soldiers return from war. Some return with a sense of honor. Many return with a heart that is unable to rest. Why do so many soldiers suffer from PTSD? Why are so many military families at risk of broken relationships, veterans homeless, mental health facilities established all over this country and the world, for our veterans? There is no peace.

What makes peace? Knowing that the freedom of choice led someone to act on their beliefs - beliefs nested firmly in a conviction based on truth. Can we have peace? Only if we are given everything we need to know the truth.

Firsthand experience gives us the best opportunity to know the truth, to know whether the choices we make are honest assessments - convicted beliefs. Firsthand experience told Sgt. Kevin Benderman that he could no longer participate in war. He saw his truth. He made his choice. He is free - even confined at Ft. Lewis, he is FREE, and mostly he is at Peace.

Freedom also comes from acceptance. When we accept each other's differences, by understanding their right to believe as they choose, we move closer to living free. When we realize that we are all part of the same humanity, and that living matters more than dying, perhaps it will be easier to accept each other's differences and allow ourselves the right to choose.

Freedom is not free. Freedom is earned, but no one can earn it for us. The price cannot be another's death in our name. The price is the sacrifice we make for ourselves, to have the knowledge to make our choices based on truth, to do the work we need to do to make the best choice for us, the one that gives us Peace.

What is the truth? In fairness to all, the truth is something that many of us have not yet seen. For our soldiers, for their families, for the lives that have been given - the truth is in the firsthand experiences we have all lived through that those who cannot understand us have not seen.

What is our noble cause? It is asking to be given the knowledge we need to make conscious choices that give our hearts peace. We are not at peace. So perhaps more information is needed.

War - Anti-War. Somewhere in the middle there is Peace.

Monica Benderman is married to Sgt. Kevin Benderman, an active duty soldier serving 15 months in confinement at Ft. Lewis, WA, for requesting Conscientious Objector status. Sgt. Benderman has been declared a prisoner of conscience by Amnesty International. To learn more, please visit their website at www.BendermanDefense.org.

Monica may be reached at mdawnb@coastalnow.net

There is a lot I could "say" here about them; the V.A.; congress who for 40 years has never properly funded the VA - both "Parties" are guilty on that point; and the Bush/Cheney cabal who are out to eliminate the VA by privatizing it; but, for now, I will let the V.A. Watchdog and Vets for Justice do most of my "talking" for me; but not all.

Over the past couple of years I have come to rely on both to keep me up with those issues that directly affect and impact all of us that are veterans, their families and friends. That which has direct impact on us veterans affects not only us, but family and friends, directly, as well. We all pay the cost of a screwed up and under-funded VA as it is not only veterans who pay that cost but everyone around us pays the cost also.

The VA system was already a mess, but since Bush/Cheney captured, or stole this nation thru hijacked "elections" (and I use the term elections loosely) what has been happening to the VA in terms of funding has gone past simply being an outrage - it's criminal!

Bush had appointed Anthony Principi to head up the VA. When Principi started trying to get things done on behalf of veterans Bush replaced him with good "party loyalist" Jim Nicholson. (Side Bar Note:"...the Moret study may be the reason behind Veterans Administration Secretary Anthony Principi's recent and sudden departure. Bernklau says Principi was "aware that DU was causing illness and death as far back as 2000. He and the Bush administration has (sic) been hiding these facts, but now, thanks to [Lauren] Moret's report, is far too big to hide or to cover up.")

Twin killers - PTSD and Depleted Uranium, which is a weapon, and this government is in total denial about both. In fact, a disinformation and misinformation campaign about both is at the top of the Department of War and Pentagon's "hit" list.

Nicholson's only qualification for the position he now holds: Nicholson, like David Chu at the Department of War, thinks that continued payments to service connected disabled veterans poses a "threat to national security" as it takes away money needed for the current Bush/Cheney & Co., Inc war machine - which is creating more disabled veterans at an alarming rate, physical and mental - in short, Nicholson is a good party loyalist, period.

How do those "men" respond to this increase of PTSD imbued veterans from previous wars, and those coming back from this "war of aggression" in Iraq seeking help for their PTSD? They claim "fraud" and start "reviewing" tens of thousands of disabled veterans, 72,000 to be exact, who are currently receiving compensation for combat related PTSD. And they do this at a time when by all accounts PTSD is on a marked increase as a direct result of the invasion and continued occupation of Iraq. But then what do you expect when this government, from top to bottom, is headed up by a bunch of "bean-counters" that can't see past "cost-benefit" analysis?

Just in the last three years, since Bush/Cheney unleashed the "Dogs of War" on Iraq and Afghanistan the payouts to veterans with PTSD has shot up from a little over $1 billion a year to over $4 billion per year. That's not fraud, that is a direct result of combat and war. But the three men who make the determinations about the VA and veterans, instead of realizing the madness Bush/Cheney created by their "war against the peace" and the untenable position they have put those in uniform in has been more than enough to generate even more people with PTSD (those of us that spent any time in Vietnam are very familiar with being put in an untenable position by politicians who try their hand at running a war, and an illegal war at that).

For these people, Nicholson, Buyer and Craig, to recognize cause and effect in terms of combat and PTSD would mean they would have to counter the reigning ideology of "perpetual war for perpetual peace" and this not one of the three will do. They are after all part of the Bush/Cheney cabal. Their answer to the self-generating mess their boss has created, simple, use the time "honored and tested" tactic of pitting one group of veterans against another group of veterans, and then pit all the veterans against active duty military.

Keep in mind that it was not that far back that the VA "budget" was placed in the hands of David Chu at the Department of War. The VA now not only has to fight year after year to even have a budget, but it must now compete internally with active duty military family housing; active duty military health-care; and the list goes on.

In the mean time, while this wanna-be Emperor (Bush, Cheney, take your pick) wags his finger at the world, the disabled veterans being created by the war of aggression in Iraq will in the end, not fair any better than those of us from previous wars, period. It is already happening. Even those that the Bush/Cheney cabal pontificate about being "heroes" who are fighting to spread "freedom and democracy" are being tossed aside when they come home a physical and mental basket case.

The essay, "Behind the Walls of Ward 54" is but one of many examples of how those coming home from Iraq are being treated - in this case it drove a man to commit suicide at Walter Reed. This is not a singular event as the suicide rate in the military today is on an exponential increase; as are people being killed by those returning from Iraq.

58, 195 soldiers and Marines were killed in Vietnam and suicides as a result of untreated PTSD have claimed the lives of more Vietnam veterans than did the war. Is that what we will allow to happen to the people Bush/Cheney are sending to Iraq? Apparently so as the VA is out to eliminate up to a third of all PTSD disabled vets from the disability rolls. Like I stated earlier, this goes way past just outrageous - this is criminal, period, end of story.

So much for yellow ribbons and supporting the troops.

Who can forget Henry Kissinger when he was the so-called "National Security Advisor" when he stated that, "...people in uniform are dumb animals to be used for our purposes..." Take a hard look around you; look at all the available information about how the VA is not taking care of veterans; take a hard look at how one congress after another has refused to not only properly fund the VA but has refused to make the VA budget a mandatory item; take a hard look at the VA Appeals Court and all the Bush appointed judges that now control it - all but two of the appeals "judges" were appointed by Bush 1 and Bush 2 and how ever since almost no vet wins on appeal.

For this congress and Bush/Cheney to do anything but what they are doing, in terms of continuing this onslaught against this nation's veterans, would mean they would have to acknowledge they screwed up and that their "war" is in fact nothing more or less than one great big corporate/investor cash cow.

Bush/Cheney have just about bankrupted this nation because of what they are doing in Iraq, and they are willing to sacrifice veterans and their own active duty military and their families in the attempt to pay for their "perpetual wars."

General Smedly Butler was so very right-on when he wrote that, "War is a Racket."

But, enough from me, for now. Read carefully the following information from "V.A. Watchdog" and "Vets for Justice" - and keep in mind that, "The Greatest Sedition is Silence."

The march on Washington Sept. 24-26 will be a great place and time to end the "silence."

I ask myself, 'Why should I continue with what I see as self-destructive behavior?'

We have become so engrained to the face of war that we can no longer see that it solves nothing. I will no longer participate."

People who haven't experienced war and all of its trappings firsthand, will never know just how deep the dehumanizing effects go: Dehumanizing only if they succeed in barring people from their heart and from acting on their conscience. For some, the effects do anything BUT dehumanize us. For some, they galvanize us against the robotic trend, and make us LIVE from this point on, feeling everything, pain and good, knowing just how important every feeling is, for it means we are alive, we are safe and we ARE human after all.

War affects us all. We just don't know it until it is sometimes too late to change what it has done. Mothers cry, Cindy Sheehan is crying, and there are mothers all over the world crying with her. This is beyond political. As Kevin said, we cannot tell others how to live their lives or what to believe in. We can, however, let others see our humanity, and hopefully others will come to face theirs as well, by asking questions of themselves, as we have, and demanding that they answer honestly, unafraid to feel in their responses.

It was midnight the night that Kevin's unit deployed. The barracks room was eerily quiet, surreal, as if we were in a cocoon living out this last bit of time; separate from everything else that was going on. All of his movements cast shadows on the blank wall as the lamp on his nightstand kept us from darkness. Watching him put on body armor, a Kevlar helmet, 100 pounds of equipment and supplies, sneaking last minute little notes into all the pockets of his uniform and armor so that he could find them in his downtime, was a difficult memory to keep. As he packed the charcoal chemical suit, the antidotes for chemical attacks, the gas mask... so many thoughts surfaced and it all seemed to be slow motion... there was little more to say - there really aren't any words. We drove at 1 am, in the dark, to the arms room to draw his weapon. Waiting... more briefings, more waiting in the dark. Knowing that time was running out... knowing everything the government had said about the horrors those soldiers were about to face... knowing that he was so thoughtful about the idea of going to war and that we had to find the strength for what we had committed to... knowing that there were many who would not respect what the soldiers were about to do... and then - 3 AM. I had to let him go and watched while the units formed and marched past us into the gym. The only sound to be heard was the shuffled cadence of their boots. Something impacted me that wasn't expected. Standing in the doorway watching, Kevin came through not a foot from me, and another soldier handed him a plastic chock to put behind the pin of his M-16 to keep it from firing on the plane. It was added safety... but for me it was the realization that we were going to war.

Almost three weeks ago, in a courtroom that was eerily quiet, even with people surrounding me; strangely surreal, as if we were in a cocoon living out this last bit of time, my husband was sentenced to 15 months confinement for not wanting to participate in war. As visitors left the courtroom, prosecutors tried not to smile but didn't quite succeed, government witnesses shook hands as if they had accomplished their mission, and friends were not quite sure what to say or do. It all seemed to separate from where we stood. We wanted to remember every second of the short time in the waiting room, quick hugs and assurances - we have been through this before. Together we will get through this again. Watching while the MPs came to lead him away, the only sound to be heard was the sound of the handcuffs and leg irons that his supervisor refused to allow the MP's to use, telling them that Sgt. Benderman would walk on his own to the van. As I stood in the doorway, Kevin came through not a foot from me with his head held high - the power of his confident strength was added comfort... and for me it was the realization that we were heading toward peace.

Cindy Sheehan and Kevin Benderman are no different, just using a different story to help others see how much we need to reach for a better way. War should be obsolete; it must be, if we are to regain our humanity. We should not have to watch our soldiers load their weapons and prepare to fight others. Sadly, no one can truly understand who has not seen or felt the entire experience. We hope the day will come when no one ever will feel it again. For those of us who have, we look at the sunshine a little longer and dare to walk in the rain. We see our children as gifts, not nuisances. We wake in the morning and do our best to defend good things and brush off the little ones that don't really matter. We accept what we have as the gifts we must use. We do not take for granted that by being here, speaking out to no longer participate in war, to find a better way, we are fighting for freedom and the right to live, as we believe. We remember that we are not fighting for the right to destroy others or ourselves for the sake of power and control. We do not forget what good is - all the natural gifts we have to share that have nothing to do with money or power or instant gratification. We do not forget the honor in being able to defend Life over the taking of life to solve our problems.

For us, this is about our home, and the fact that it no longer seems to have real meaning for so many people who dare to speak against what Kevin has chosen to do saying, "I will study war no more." We join people like Cindy Sheehan and so many others who are offering their stories with feeling, in the hope that it will help others to learn to feel as human beings again as well. It takes a strong person to have the kind of heart that is willing to reach out and help defend their home, especially when so many in that home are not ready to understand what they are being offered. Kevin, Cindy, those who stand with us, know that there is a better way. We will do everything we can to help others to see the value of Peace because we have lived through the destructive force of War.

The glory comes from a life well lived.

Monica Benderman is the wife of Sgt. Kevin Benderman who was recently sentenced to 15 months confinement for the charge of Missing Movement. Amnesty International has issued an urgent appeal for Kevin's immediate release, and declared him a Prisoner of Conscience. For more information and updates please visit their website, Benderman Defense

Monica may be contacted at mdawnb@coastalnow.net

Bush/Cheney/Rumsfeld & Co., Inc. are still trying to connect 9/11 and Iraq! This nation is being run by people that devoid and out of touch with reality. The only connection between 9/11 and Iraq is them. And the way things are looking right now, Bush/Cheney do not have clean hands about 9/11 - I put nothing past these people, nothing.

A lot of blood is on their heads. Tens upon tens of thousands of Iraqi people; over, and I emphasize over, 1850 of this nation's young people in uniform have been killed; according to the Air Force, over 55,000 have been medically evacuated out of Iraq since Bush/Cheney launched this "war of aggression" this "war against the peace" in Iraq.

Cindy Sheehan is camped out in Crawford, TX demanding that Bush interrupt his 50th vacation and answer a few "simple" questions she has regarding the death of her son, Casey, who was killed in Iraq. Reasonable; after all, it was Bush who sent Casey to Iraq, so why should he not answer the questions of Casey's mother, Cindy? One of Cindy's questions for Bush I feel is most reasonable: "And you tell me what the noble cause is that my son died for." And if he even starts to say "freedom and democracy," I'm gonna say "bullshit."

"You tell me the truth. You tell me that my son died for oil. You tell me that my son died to make your friends rich. You tell me my son died to spread the cancer of Pax Americana, imperialism in the Middle East. You tell me that, you don't tell me my son died for freedom and democracy."

Kevin Benderman is doing 15 months in an Army jail because he took his oath seriously and refused to be a further participant in this Bush/Cheney war of aggression and war against the peace they launched in Iraq. Kevin saw first hand when he was in Iraq, the toll, the inhumanity of war. Kevin, as are a growing number in uniform, came to realize that he was not serving in the defense of this nation but was part of an invading, conquering Army. Kevin did the only thing a man of ethics, integrity, loyalty and honor could do; he refused a second deployment to Iraq. Kevin in fact had become a conscientious objector. The Army responded by putting him in prison.

Casey Sheehan is dead because he was killed in Iraq behind the lies, deliberate and continued deceptions of Bush/Cheney. Casey could have been your son; your brother; your husband as there are too many "Casey's" coming back from Iraq. He was Cindy's son and she wants answers from the man who sent Casey to be killed. So do I.

Kevin Benderman is in prison and his wife, Monica wants answers. Why does the military put in prison a man just because he refuses to kill?

And then I also think that Vanessa Langer, 23 years old, 4 months pregnant would have had a lot to say about Rumsfeld's street party. Vanessa was on the 93rd floor of the south Tower when it came down. The last words she spoke to her mother were: "it o.k. mom, they told us to stay where we are, it's safe."

Obviously, there is a lot more that could be said here: But Rumsfeld is going to throw a street party.

Pentagon to Host 9/11 March, Show

One Mother's Stand

Meet With Cindy

Kevin Benderman Defense Committee

"Never Again Will One Generation of Veterans Abandon Another" (Vietnam Veterans of America) "If they ask you why we died, tell them 'cause our fathers' lied" (Rudyard Kipling)

I am not writing out of anger. I am writing to request the opportunity to meet with one of you to discuss my husband's case from our point of view, as this has not been allowed to this point. Even in my husband's court martial, he was not allowed to discuss his beliefs, his reasons, or the fact that he has given 10 years of honorable service to his country, including a combat tour in Iraq, for which he received two Army commendation medals for meritorious service. My husband's case for Conscientious Objection was brushed aside and mishandled so that his entire career of service came down to a meeting with his Command Sgt. Major that lasted less than one hour. My husband's testimony regarding this meeting has remained unchanged, as has my witness to that meeting. The Command Sgt. Major's testimony was re-written and sworn to on at least 5 separate occasions, each testimony contradicting another, even as they were presented in my husband's court martial. In fairness to each of you, to the US Army, to the people of this country and mostly to my husband, who is paying the price for being falsely charged, I am respectfully requesting that the appeal process for his case be allowed to proceed without delay, and that he be given fair treatment not only in a re-presentation of the facts surrounding his court martial, but that he also be given the opportunity to have his application for Conscientious Objector status reconsidered as well.

We are all living in difficult times. My husband served in this war, and the effects it had on him will live with him for the rest of his life. We do not intend to dishonor the service of all the military personnel still serving, each will have to make the choice for themselves of how to live with their beliefs and their conscience. We will not say that the beliefs of those still fighting are wrong. We can only say for certain that what my husband was ordered to continue to believe, by his command, is very wrong for him. This is the United States of America, the land of the free and the home of the brave. Sirs, my husband freely volunteered to serve in the United States Army because he believed it was right. He gave 10 years of honorable service because he believed it was right for him. After seeing war firsthand, he knew that he could not participate any longer; because he KNEW war was the wrong choice for him. The stand he has taken, to say NO to war and to lay down his weapon in the face of so many who do not understand, is what I believe gives him the right to live in this "home of the brave," as one of the bravest.

I have never met any of you. I hear what others say about you, but I cannot say the same. I do not know you. I would like the opportunity to know you, so that I could know what to believe. I would like the opportunity to sit with each of you and discuss what my husband believes, as people who care about our country and those who serve it.

Our country needs to heal. War has divided our country, our families and our world. I would like the opportunity to present our views for a different approach to lasting peace. We believe that we can make this country strong on our shores, that we can develop ways to defend our country without taking the fight to foreign lands. We believe that we can work together to provide adequate means to secure our land so that we will not have to "get to them before they can get to us." It will involve more than just coffee table discussions, and we make no illusion, no doubt there will be loss. As we work through the process and remain firm in our commitment to not allow ourselves to be drawn into violence, we know that some will try to force us against our will, to show us to be weak by daring us to lose control. BUT the loss incurred will be far less than what we have already faced, and the innocents who now suffer will not be so openly in harm's way.

Taking a stand for what we believe, for a commitment to seeing that peace happens and that those who threaten this peace are neutralized does not have to involve weapons meant for killing. Animals on this earth were given their weapons; teeth, claws and a ravage tenacity to protect what is theirs and keep "enemies" at bay. Humanity was given something much different, a far more significant weapon. Humanity was given a mind. Somewhere along the way, we have forgotten the power of our mind and what it can be used for. It became easy to create weapons of destruction, far easier than to use our minds to think and create strong principles for preventing the use of these weapons.

We believe that we should take pride in our abilities to use our mental strength. We believe that we should develop this asset and work with courage toward peace by drafting positive resolutions, knowing that while the implementation of these resolutions will result in some loss, it will be far less than the loss we face with weapons of destruction in our hands, no different than "the enemy" facing us.

We believe we should stand strong and confident in knowing that we have the courage of heart and strength of intellect to overcome the basest animalistic tendencies that so easily drive us to forget that we are human. We believe it is time to rise up from a position of strength knowing that there is no "enemy" greater than ourselves, when we lose respect for our God-given abilities and resort to violence as an answer.

Our world is divided because of war. We see children dying who will never have the chance to grow to use their talents to help our world. We see children who have lost their fathers. How will they grow? Will there be resentment, or will they come to believe that they must become strong in saying NO to war? We see mothers crying as they reach out to find a noble cause for their sons' deaths. Wouldn't the cause be far nobler if the solution were to lay down our guns and say, "not one more person should have to die when we have the strength to resolve our problems without violence?" We see homes destroyed, a country laid waste to, and people struggling to survive. Will they one day say "thank you" for making my world better because of war? OR - will they find forgiveness and reach out in hope when we put our weapons away and give them the freedom to do what they must to heal their country and their homes?

This world is great and we are all part of it. War only creates chaos, it will never bring lasting peace, and fighting with killing machines to keep the turmoil from reaching our shores will only prolong the agony. We believe we must work together to strengthen us, to secure us, and to use our strength wisely to show the world that we mean business when we say that no one will control us, our actions or our way of life. To take the stand of strength, to honor those who have served this country with their sacrifices, we believe we must rise above the violence and say "NO MORE," we will not allow ourselves to be drawn to a position of having to use their methods to resolve our differences. Sirs, nothing that results in such massive destruction can ever be counted as success on the way to lasting peace.

Please consider my request. Please understand that I mean no disrespect, nor does the stand that my husband has taken. We care about our country, we care about healing the wounds we all now feel. We know that our country stands for human rights, for respecting others and for leading others to their personal freedom by giving them the right to make the choices that are best for them, as long as they bring no intentional pain to anyone else. We believe it is time to reach out for what makes us truly strong and to leave the way of violence behind.

I look forward to the opportunity to discuss my husband's case with you. Mostly, I look forward to the opportunity to work together in strength, to bring lasting peace to our world, and to see our country represented by the confidence of a principled stand for conscience that all people deserve.

In Peace,

Monica Benderman

Although he was not President by the time the wall was finally torn down, he is considered a hero for saying the words that brought a wall down and caused the entire world to descend in to various small hot wars which continue to this day.

On November 9th, 1989, I was a Pvt/E-2 who had a total of 7 months and 5 days in the Army. I was newly stationed at Ft. Bragg, NC and was watching the news when it flashed that East Germany, for the first time in more than 28 years, had opened its borders to the West including the Berlin wall. People crossed freely and the fireworks were incredible and it seemed that America was now, for certain, number One. People scaled parts of the wall and chipped pieces of the wall away. A few people I knew who had been stationed in Germany at the time were able to bring back small pieces of the wall, or little vials of dust that presumably had been part of the wall. I remember being amazed when these people would show me these trophies of America's Cold War "victory" and who really believed that history was being made for the better.

Since then--never again will I be, nor have I been that naïve. I will never again be inspired by so few words either; but instead I will listen closely. Because the fall of the Berlin wall did not bring stability--It brought chaos! And the Dust from the Berlin Wall was just a premonition of the "other" Dust that was soon to come and destroy many lives.

In October 1995, I was at Ft. Bragg, not quite a year back from a short but intense deployment in Haiti as a UN Peacekeeper; I had also been in the First Gulf War I. After Haiti, I was beginning to lose my taste for the military. Haiti was truly terrifying and brutal; without regard to any racial or religious or ethnic differences, people simply killed one another. The poverty alone which I had witnessed, still gives me nightmares. Haitian Women, holding their heads high and not at all embarrassed, would sell these little cakes in the streets of Port-Au-Prince during the day. They proudly would eat these cakes as well. Yet, the cakes were not cakes, they were cakes of clay and mud mixed together.

As an anthropology student, I later found out this is a common practice among women in impoverished nations because the rich iron in the clay prevents them from being totally malnourished. I bought cakes any time I saw these women simply because I could not walk passed them without doing so. I did not eat them, but I bought as many as the Haitian women had because they were proud and not ashamed. I was ashamed to be there as a peacekeeper and being able to do nothing about this. Today, Haiti has again descended into chaos, and things are worse than ever. I knew in October 1994 when I went there that nothing would change and we would simply be a trophy force so the UN and the USA could feel good and say on the evening news that they were bringing stability to the tiny, island nation in our Hemisphere, and the poorest in the world.

I was still having nightmares of Haiti when I found out in October 1995 that I would be deploying to the "former" Yugoslavia in December with a coalition of NATO soldiers to provide "security and relief" for refugees; mostly those who were predominantly Muslim and fleeing Kosovo, which was now a disputed territory of the former quiet and beautiful, and united, Yugoslavia.

The Berlin Wall had only been the beginning. During pre-deployment briefings we were told that there were just small, ethnic skirmishes going on and that our "mission" was Peaceful, as what we would be doing was more like aiding the overwhelmed humanitarian relief agencies in the area. There was little more information in those pre-deployment briefings. Having gone through Haiti and the previous conflict in the Persian Gulf, I knew this was not going to be the quiet little European deployment I so badly needed.

I was there one day, and that day was the day after our arrival in Sarajevo, the former capital of Yugoslavia, December 15, 1995, and I knew that things were going to be pretty horrible. We had arrived at night on the 14th and though we heard a few potshots here and there; we were reassured that the siege of Sarajevo had ended in September after being carpet bombed by NATO Fighters for nearly a month straight several times a day. The city was in ruins. There was no infrastructure to support electricity. There were no potable water sources. It was totally destroyed. I noticed a familiar black dust clinging to everything. It was already in my clothing and I had only been there one day.

Then I had a serious case of Persian Gulf related deja vous. This was the same dust no one could escape once we had arrived in Kuwait and after coalition fighters had strafed and annihilated the Iraqi Republican Guard retreating from Kuwait in defeat. It was distasteful and it would get in your food and your clothing and I never got clean of it until I returned to the states after that conflict. At least I thought a simple shower would take care of it. No one knew what it was, or thought to ask. We just knew it was irritating, especially to those of us who were, like myself, mechanics and working with recovery crews to clean up Kuwait city and the blasted armor of the former grand Iraqi Republican Guard strewn along Highway One leading out of Kuwait and into Southern Iraq. Some of us know it as the "Highway of Death".

At the time, we just thought the reference of death was to the Iraqi's who had died there. We had no idea we were being exposed to a toxic dust that would kill some of us, cause some of us to lose children by miscarriages or severe birth defects, or terrify those of us who saw this happening from ever having children or even getting married for fear of what we saw some of our fellow vets dealing with.

My Motor Sergeant in Iraq was a tall strapping man who was in awesome shape. Not an ounce of fat and he was a rock. Within 3 years of returning from Desert Storm he was diagnosed with stomach cancer, and another three months after that he was dead. It took the military doctors nearly 2 years to figure out that he was not just suffering from lingering flu before they decided to do further tests and discovered the cancer. But by then it had spread to the Lymph System and from their cancer works quick.

Yet, none of us knew what was happening. There was talk of a "syndrome", a Gulf War syndrome, and we were always told by military medical personnel that this was just a myth. Then some thought it was due to breathing the toxic fumes in the areas of the Kuwaiti Oil fields that had been set on fire by the retreating Iraqi's. But nobody really knew, and no one with any expertise was making any haste to figure out why all this was happening.

Then in June 1994 there was a summary report to congress called "Health and Environmental Consequences of Depleted Uranium Use by the US Army." prepared by the US Army Environmental Policy Institute. Just like Reagan's Berlin wall Speech and the little vials of Berlin Wall Dust, this report was propaganda ad only written to tell us that they were no hazards to us. However, we never received our own copies of the report. We were just briefed on the "key points" that the use of Depleted Uranium was nothing for us to worry about. Most of us were in shock that we were even using or being exposed to anything like Uranium. None of us had ever been told that we were handling Depleted Uranium ammunition or that when our jets blew up tanks that units like mine had to go and clear and recover, the dust was the residual Depleted Uranium from the bombs used to kill.

In case you do not know what DU is either, as we did not at first, Depleted Uranium is a by-product of fuel and weapons grade uranium refining. Depleted Uranium retains ALL of natural uranium's toxicological properties and according to the report which I only finally got a complete copy of through researching, DU retains about half the radiological properties. As such, according to the report named above, the one declaring that this same DU was at best a minimal threat to those exposed to it, Depleted Uranium is treated as a Low Level Radioactive waste (LLRW) and is in the lowest class of LLRW hazardous waste. Yet the problem arises when you look at unbiased sources and you find out that Depleted Uranium has a half life of 4.5 BILLION YEARS.

This stuff once ingested in dust form or as was the case in some of the Gulf Conflicts friendly fire incidents, some troops had fragments in them and they were not removed since they posed no threat. By now the toxic nature of the DU has spread beyond just the fragment and entered the blood stream, the cellular structure and various other systems of the body; so, taking out the fragments would be useless.

I spent nearly 3 months cleaning up DU contaminated equipment in Kuwait. Then, I spent nearly 2 years, with one year off back at Ft. Bragg, before going back for another year and 2 month tour, cleaning up the same type of destruction covered with the same type of dust in Sarajevo, and at short times just being exposed to it while doing border "management", in other words forcing wary and exhausted Kosovar Muslims to get up and move again to another "safe zone" so our jets could bomb targets in that particular area on that given day.

Our smart bombs also failed to be so smart, when, in April 1999, NATO jets "mistakenly" bombed a convoy of Kosovar refugees near Djakovica. Less than a month later NATO accidentally bombs the Chinese Embassy and three Chinese journalists are killed. That was no fun clean up. Luckily I left and redeployed back to Bragg soon after that. I received orders to PCS to Hawaii soon after and I thought I was finally going to get away and get healthy. Until I learned the stuff about the half life and saw soldiers who had by 2001 when I got here, been gone from the Gulf for ten years and they were having symptoms such as multiple miscarriages, contracting cancers that were highly unusual in such a short period of time, suffering from general fatigue and just feeling plane sick most days.

I got out of the army after two years at Schofield Barracks and I began looking for more information. I was suddenly jolted when I found two old articles in the Stars and Stripes, European Edition each with headlines that caught my eye and sent me to panic. In the first article, which I had missed, but was published in the January 15th 2001 edition of Stars and Stripes and luckily archived, the article title was "Depleted Uranium Issue Goes Way Beyond Statistics" and it was written by Ward Sanderson. He exposed that International troops still in the Balkans were dying from alarming rates of leukemia. He told about too many children in Iraq being born with alarming birth defects. Yet all the talking heads and the fact that the article was in the Stars and Stripes would never conclusively say the problem was because of DU weapons used and residual Dust exposure.

Then the second article caught my eye. It was published in the November 14th 2002 edition and it told how a United Nations Environmental Program team had discovered three radioactive sites in Bosnia. The first place that caught my eye was the name of a city just outside of Sarajevo, named Hadzici. That had been a former tank and ammunition storage facility which we had frequently used to dump destroyed equipment which had been bombed by DU Ammunition used by NATO jets.

I used to work on a recovery team driving forklifts and 5-ton wreckers as we worked to clear the streets of Sarajevo of debris. I took many destroyed military vehicles and other types of destroyed equipment, all of it thickly covered with DU Dust to that facility. The UN Team found it to be a radioactive "hot spot" with many DU fragments in the area. I have not read anything beyond that out of sheer terror.

I am a 33 year old female, supposedly healthy, and I am terrified to get married because I am terrified of having children. I feel like my life has been lived already and taken away first by a wall which fell and caused the world to fragment and murder each other, predicted when I had that funny feeling holding vials of dust from that wall, and then now living with all the memories of eating tainted food, breathing the dust, and drinking it in the water. Simple memories of seeing it on other things still bother me a great deal because I know these areas are now being used by civilians and I do not think decontamination has even begun yet.

I don't know what type of life Ronald Reagan really believed he was securing for us when he spoke those almost sanctified words people still find as being "Great" in some way, but I know he did not secure much of a life for me beyond maybe marrying, hoping everyday that any lump I find or any flu symptom I have, and I have more than most, is not something that is just beginning, while hoping that this neurotic worry does not prevent me from possibly adopting children, or getting ill and not being eligible to adopt.

Thanks a lot Mr. Reagan for using your acting talent to tear down a wall, and start the world to turn rabidly upon itself. Things have really been great, although you probably were not aware at all of the damage you caused anyway during the last days of your own life. I guess karma can be a bit feisty when it decides to be.

I just hope that some of the good I did in my deployments will help me escape any bad karma for being a part of such an evil unfolding of this current devastated and war torn world. I was tested twice in the last two years for exposure and both times was told I had reached my lifetime limit. So, I have to live with that knowledge every minute of the day. I will die before this evil element in my body will ever even begin to decay.

So, any time I see dust on my furniture or anywhere, I am reminded of what I know now lives in me, and I am scared. Maybe that is how karma is going to deal with me.

For additional information about Depleted Uranium, what it is and what it does see the following:

Depleted Uranium Education Project

Gulf War Syndrome

From Vietnam to Iraq: Ignoring the Veteran Healthcare Crisis - pdf report

Depleted uranium issue goes way beyond statistics

After 8 months, the conscientious objector application Jonathan submitted according to all military law, rules and regulations, Jonathan's command has not even begun to process his application. It would seem that today's Army does not think its command structure has to follow its own laws, rules and regulations when it comes to those who stand as conscientious objectors. In fact just two weeks ago, Jonathan's new Commanding Officer told Jonathan, "you might as well start training as your C.O. application is never going to be approved."

The military is really slick, especially the Marine Corps (that's the branch of military I was in) in how they not only approach these kids in school, but in who they have approach them and their parents. The "how and who" in Jonathan's case really points out just how "slick" military recruiters are. Jonathan's parents immigrated to this country from Ecuador. Jonathan's mother does not speak English and his father speaks broken English. Jonathan is first generation born in this country.

When Jonathan's parents answered the knock at their front door, there in the doorway stood a tall, smartly dressed Marine in full dress uniform - a most impressive sight. There was no language barrier as the Marine recruiter that was sent to convince Jonathan's parents to give their permission for Jonathan to enlist in the Delayed Entry program also had immigrated to this country from Ecuador. Get the picture?

This fellow "countryman" the Marine Corps sent to hustle Jonathan and his parents did a really good job at it. After the recruiter made a lot of promises and guarantees that, to paraphrase, "I will be there to watch over him; those of us from Ecuador after all have to stick together." This recruiter then went on to tell Jonathan and his parents, "as an electrician, you will not be going into combat or even be training for combat." Jonathan and his parents signed the Delayed Entry papers behind these statements of this recruiter.

Jonathan and his parents had just been conned and hustled by one of the Marine Corps so-called "finest." At the same time this Marine Corps recruiter had just committed the Corps to a verbal contract in terms of what Jonathan would and would not be doing. And, yes, I know that verbal contracts don't hold water with the military. Hell, today, written contracts don't hold water in today's military from what I have been seeing. But Jonathan and his parents didn't know that. They believed what the recruiter told them, which under the circumstances is understandable.

Jonathan was now in the Marines Delayed Entry program. According to Jonathan, "I joined the Marines because of my recruiters good way of talking." But then Jonathan told me, "Before leaving for Boot Camp I got this feeling like I didn't know what I was getting myself into. I told my recruiter I didn't want to go no more, that I think it's not for me." Rather than take the chance of a bad fitness report that would prevent promotion, Jonathan's recruiter told him, "... I can't; it's too late." So off to Boot Camp went Jonathan.

When Jonathan arrived at Marine Boot Camp, things went from bad to worse for him. According to Jonathan, "... that's when it hit me, I've been lied to." Jonathan went on to say, "everything that was said to us recruits was 'kill' ... I remember plenty of times while getting disciplined, the drill instructor would be screaming we need to be ready and tougher; that we need to be able to kill a little kid ... coming at you and have no physical or mental feeling towards it and carry on." For crying out loud, Jonathan is still a "kid" himself! Kids with guns killing other kids with guns; and that is called "spreading freedom and democracy" by the megalomaniacs in Washington, D.C. - the people I refer to as Bush & Co and that my friend Dr Steven Jonas at "The Political Junkies" calls the "Georgites."

Jonathan's conscientious objection crystallized even more when the time came to train with the M16. Jonathan says it best: "The force and power that the weapon contained was incredible. I held in my hands what can determine a human beings fate as well as mine. The severity of killing became more apparent when we were trained to shoot at targets in the shape of human beings. Although it was not made of flesh and blood, it made me feel depressed. I actually talked to my drill instructor on several occasions telling him, I couldn't continue with further training. I didn't fully express my objection to war or killing due to being intimidated by what would happen if I did. None the less, he [drill instructor] told me to "suck it up" and that I can't [stop training] because I signed a piece of paper called a "contract.""

When Jonathan graduated from Boot Camp at Parris Island in Nov. 2004, he went home for leave. By the time he got home he was in a state of total depression and a lot of stress. It was while he was at home on leave that Jonathan filled out the military's forms to file as a conscientious objector. When his leave was over he reported to his next duty station at Camp Geiger, N.C. which is right next door to Camp Lejeune, where AWOL's and "suicides" are increasing in numbers. As soon as Jonathan got to Camp Geiger on Dec. 7. 2004, he filed his paperwork as a conscientious objector.

8 months later, Jonathan's application is still sitting on some Colonels desk. Two of the people at Camp Geiger that held up Trent Helmkamp's CO paperwork and gave him such a bad time were the same people that would be handling Jonathan's application, Maj. Laws and 1st Sgt Watkins - it you remember it was 1st Sgt Watkins that called Trent a "F...g faggot conscientious objector." No wonder Jonathan was so intimidated and did not fully express his objection to war - he was in the very same Separation Barracks as was Trent and Jonathan saw on a daily basis what the Marine Corps subjected Trent to after he made application as a C.O. 4 different young men in those barracks have attempted suicide in the past 4 or 5 months - something is seriously wrong at Camp Geiger and Camp Lejeune, N.C.

Over the months Jonathan has had three interviews and all three of those that interviewed Jonathan all have said the very same thing: "... all three have found me to be a conscientious objector within the military's regulations and meaning." However, Jonathan was told by Maj. Laws, "my investigating officer I appointed recommended you for a discharge but that doesn't mean that I have to." That was Jan. 2005. Since then Jonathan has heard nothing other than what his new commanding office told him two weeks ago, "you might as well start training as your application is never going to be approved."

Someone I have gotten to know over the past year, and who is an active duty high-ranking officer with 26 years of service under his belt, wrote to me just today and relayed a conversation he had with a British officer. The conversation was about "conscientious objectors" how they are handled in this country and how they are handled in Briton. It is more than worth looking at and then taking note of: "While In England a few weeks ago, I was talking to fellow RN officers I know about Trent, and they were dumbfounded when I told them Trent could not get out on the basis of his beliefs. They told me Royal Marines who objected to killing would be released and without stigma." Could our military "leaders" learn from that or what?

Here in this nation, as a direct result of the total top-down insanity unleashed by Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Wolfowitz, Rice, and the rest of that totalitarianistic mob of Mayberry Machiavellis', people who apply as a conscientious objectors are turned into "criminals" and I use that loosely as the only criminals are the ones in charge of this Twilight Zone episode.

"Is this what we have allowed this nation to become? Lives that are not our own, but the states to do with as it will when it will? That's not an all volunteer military, that's called forced indenture - once it was called slavery."

This nation set up the process by where those in uniform that refuse to participate in war as a matter of moral principle and conscience, may make application as a conscientious objector. The procedures and process are very well spelled out for the applicant and the military. The problem comes in due to the simple fact the military uses its own laws, rules and regulations to create a major obstacle and stumbling block for those that make application as a C.O. Let's hear it for the "rule of law" which does not seem to exist in today's politicized military.

At one time in this nation individuals had the right to choose how to live their own lives; what they would do; where they would work; what kind of work they would do; at least until now. If, when after starting a "job" the individual decided, nope, this is not for me, they could quit and move on from there. Now we are in a situation where a person that goes into the military full of John Wayne movies (what can I say, I'm old), highly trained military recruiters who know how to get inside a kids head and computer generated war games gets confronted with the reality of the military and its mission says, "nope, I cannot do this," and then is criminalized for not wanting to kill or even learn how to kill.

For decades we have been told that "serving in the military is the highest form of national duty and service." And for decades people have enlisted in great numbers to stand against all the so-called "enemies" our government has told us wanted our national downfall. In fact that was what motivated me to enlist in the Marine Corps behind the Cuban missile "crisis" in Oct of 1962 - gotta stop our "enemies."

Some of us, once we got to boot camp, understood that there were some people who just did not belong in uniform. Some were not physically able and no amount of training or "motivation platoons" would change that. Others were not mentally or emotionally fit for military service. That in no way is meant to impugn those not mentally or emotionally fit to be in the military - it's just a statement of fact. And young Jonathan Berriga definitely does not belong in the Marine Corps. So why won't those in command and control at Camp Geiger just do what the investigating officers recommended and discharge Jonathan?

The following from an active duty Naval Captain may have more than just a little to do with why not:

"... ill-equipped to make a determination with respect to an individual's desire for status as a Conscientious Objector. Military Officers are not trained to make these kinds of assessments. More importantly, line officers are compromised from the start and should not be placed in this position because a positive endorsement on their part is currently culturally unacceptable in the officer corps generally and could impugn the credibility and professionalism of the Investigating Officer specifically - especially in the Marine Corps where the "warrior ethos" is strongly espoused at commissioning and reinforced daily thereafter. Officers will deny this bias and publicly, firmly deny that they are to act as expected. Yet we cannot deny that competition for promotion is keen and an officer's decision to be supportive of a Conscientious Objector while on the cusp of further promotion is an extraordinarily difficult prospect just prior to his 20th year of service when vested in retirement. These are especially difficult decisions when many must ensure they will be retained at mid-career and have a retirement for the benefit of their family - generally, no blemish on an officer's service record is sustainable.

I am not suggesting that comments on an officer supporting an applicant for Conscientious Objector status would appear in detail on his annual Fitness Report, but his judgment might well be questioned and marks that are less than superior in any category will cause promotion board members to reject an officer when most competitive officers present perfect records. Grade inflation has been and remains a well documented problem within the services and has caused several "course corrections" to be made to governing instructions for officer fitness reports and enlisted evaluations. With a very limited number of promotion spots available, it is difficult to blame an officer for not wanting to "stand-out" from his peers for any reason other than superior performance in an "acceptable" realm - such as combat."

"Since most all records presented before promotion boards are those of superior performers, board members must hunt for any fault, weakness or some data-point that is "less-than-perfect" to distinguish between those eligible for promotion. Of course, as you know, not everyone can be promoted as officer corps manning is limited (by rank) by Congress so even small discrepancies in an officer's record can make the difference between being promoted or not. Some might consider the process cut-throat, or Darwinian or just simply unfair; but whatever you call it, it's the process we have, like it or not. Nevertheless, we can not blame the Investigating Officers for the environment they are subjected to, but we must understand the impact the system might have on an officer's decision process and eventually, his clear-minded willingness to render a recommendation for approval."

"Additionally, it would not surprise me if the officers would prefer that Conscientious Objector applicants simply go on Unauthorized Absence and eventually become Deserters rather than having to deal with the staff work associated with preparing and investigating the application for the desired status."

"Separations for reasons of misconduct are, after all, a "face-saving" alternative to admitting that our recruiting process does not properly disclose, in sufficient detail, the ugliness of combat to young enlistees. Perhaps instead of handing out decals, tee-shirts, and other do-dads to potential recruits, the services should provide some kind of realistic portrayal of the Services' combat performance expectations by MOS before the contract is signed. I simply do not believe proper, full-disclosure is provided our recruits. Certainly no "amnesty program" exists at Boot Camp to excuse recruits who begin to understand better what is expected of them personally after they are placed in training and then decide they can not live with some aspects of these requirements burdening their conscious for the rest of their lives. The value and right to a free conscious, after all, is what this is all about."

The contract Jonathan signed as far as I am concerned is null and void. Bush & Co along with the military voided that contract by this war of choice, this war of aggression, this war against the peace in Iraq. As such, Jonathan has all the right in the world to be let out of the Marine Corps.

"Perpetual War for Perpetual Peace" is exactly what this nation is being led into by a relatively small group of hard core neo-cons with an army of pundits, religious zealots, corporate greed merchants and "Mayberry Machiavelli's" comprised of: the Project for a New American Century; the Carlyle Group; the Heritage Foundation; the American Enterprise Institute; the Club for Growth; and the Federalist Society. All of whom are at the head of the BushCo parade attempting to redefine this nation.

This is by no means all that comprise the menagerie of megalomaniacs pulling the strings of "government." But these "groups" are pretty much at the top of the heap of those that "help" formulate what the foreign and domestic policies emanating from the Bush administration and Congress will be. And have led this nation to where it is now today and it is due to the Bush & Co policies that have put Jonathan in the position he is in; it is those same policies that has caused the imprisonment of Kevin Benderman for doing nothing more that declaring himself a conscientious objector.

Butler Shaffer sums things up rather nicely in his essay, The Exploitation of Soldiers:

"Politically-structured societies wallow in lies and, in so doing, tear apart the fabric of decent social behavior. War, by its very nature, is sociopathic, as are those who plan for and execute the systematic slaughter of millions of persons. The idea of a "just" or "moral" war is so palpably absurd as to make even its suggestion a basis for questioning the sanity of its advocates. War makes "heroic" and "honorable" that which, if done privately, would render one a despicable criminal. We rightly condemn the serial killer who murders ten or twelve victims, while rewarding those who plot the political murders of hundreds of thousands with high political office or the Nobel Peace Prize!

It has been encouraging to observe, in recent months, the emergence of an apparent awareness among many American soldiers of the insanity of the war system, particularly as it has been playing out in Iraq. Soldiers have refused to obey orders that would send them on life-threatening missions; others have spoken out about the lack of adequate armor and protective equipment; still others have questioned the national purpose and/or morality of their participation in the killing of innocent people, particularly children. A number of soldiers have brought a lawsuit challenging the continuation of their service beyond the original commitment. Not surprising, National Guard officials announced that enlistments have fallen well below anticipated levels."

Thru all of this I am absolutely certain of this: recruiters have absolutely no business hustling kids to join the military while they are in school. And the situation Jonathan is now faced with clearly points that out. On top of that, the "war" these kids are being trained to go fight is by all standards of international law, illegal on face value!

So why do we sit back and continue to allow young men like Jonathan, Trent among many others to be brutalized in the manner they are; why do we continue to sit by as men like Kevin Benderman are sent to prison only because they believe in the immorality of war and especially one like this in Iraq which was initiated on nothing but lies, manipulation and disinformation; and one that has absolutely nothing to do with defending or protecting this nation. If anything this Bush & Co war of choice has made this nation one great big target. Let those that started this mess as well as those that support it send their kids to go fight it and leave everyone else the hell alone! Especially the nation's young people in school.

Free Kevin Benderman - Free Jonathan Barriga!

Additional reading:
As Recruiting Suffers, Military Reigns in Abuses at Boot Camp

Military Recruiters Teaching High School Classes

Center on Conscience and War

Military Families Speak Out

Gold Star Families For Peace

Killology

Traprock Peace Center

Leave My Child Alone

Child Victims of War

Jack Dalton is a disabled Vietnam veteran an anti-war independent writer that lives in Portland, Or. His blog is Jack's Straight-Speak and his email address is jack_dalton@comcast.net

A Note From Monica Benderman

THANK YOU -- to everyone for supporting Kevin and me.

Kevin is currently in a local county jail -- but he is being treated well. We are waiting to see where he will be going next, and what will be happening.

The appeals process has been initiated - BUT -- Kevin has not actually been convicted as yet. He is in prison, but the conviction will not be official until the Convening Authority, Col. John Kidd, has signed off on it. He cannot make the sentence any greater, but
he can reduce it. It's doubtful that he will do that, he has an inordinate amount of disdain for me. The entire prosecution team, including witnesses, all stood outside the doorway and laughed while Kevin was walking to the van. They wanted to put him in shackles and chains "so that the media could take pictures of him that way" but his supervisor, the man they had placed in charge of that, refused to do that, so Kevin walked freely. This supervisor has been very supportive of Kevin from the start - and continues to be very upset about what is happening, as he knows the truth.

Kevin could serve his entire sentence without Col. Kidd approving the sentence, which means that he will have the potential to serve without being convicted. The reason this is a possibility is that until the sentence is confirmed, they cannot officially process the appeal, and until the conviction is official, the defense team cannot receive the full transcripts from the trial. Without these, they cannot begin to create the brief to file for the appeal.

People need to be aware of this. Please... let people know just what they are capable of.

Kevin is fine, and says THANK YOU for staying with him.

Love, Monica

"Never Again Will One Generation of Veterans Abandon Another" (Vietnam Veterans of America) "If they ask you why we died, tell them 'cause our fathers' lied" (Rudyard Kipling)

Kevin Benderman is a man of the highest ethics, integrity and sense of honor; and one that I have had the good fortune to have met. We have had many, many conversations over the past year and I always come away from those conversations with increased admiration and respect for Kevin and his wife Monica. Kevin has raised the "bar" and has set an example that we would all do good to follow. It was Kevin's willingness to go public with his decision not to re-deploy to Iraq that has got in the position he is in currently. It was after all his going public that got the Army's shorts tied in a knot. It does not like or appreciate media or public attention and anything or anyone that puts a spotlight on the Army will, as has Kevin, suffer its full wrath.

But Kevin has not been intimidated by the Army - honorable men of ethics and integrity are not easily intimidated - but has stood tall with honor against the beast this nation's military has been turned into thanks to the "perpetual war for perpetual peace" insanity of Bush & Co.

Here is the email response I sent to Kevin and Monica today behind the one I received from them, also today:

No Monica, it is not for me...it is for your children; it is for all the children you do not know but who will be affected by all of the efforts of you and Kevin. It is for the wives and children of those in the same position as you and Kevin; that's what you are fighting for and that is also what I fight for.

It is up to people like us to fight for those who for one reason or another cannot fight for themselves. And it is that which you and Kevin have fought so well for.

You are an amazing woman, Monica and one with a good heart as well as mind. You, like Kevin, have looked the "beast" dead in the eye and have fought it on its own terms. Regardless of how this turns out, you have raised the bar of open active resistance for others to see and follow--you have set the example for others to follow and nothing and no one can ever take that away from you.

I can only hope at this point in time that others in this country will recognize the extremely important example you have set for the rest of us. A living example of ethics, integrity, honor and a refusal to compromise any of that for any reason--That is something to be emulated by all.

My prayers are with you both and do so hope that the court tomorrow will see and understand that the right thing to do with Kevin is just to give him a discharge and send him home. Anyone who has served this nation with honor, as has Kevin over the past 11 years, does not deserve to be treated in the manner in which he is being treated. It is the Army that has committed an act of dishonor after all by even wanting to put him on trial.

Read this email sent to me by Kevin. Kevin sums "things" up rather nicely:

Jack: We are going to "slay the dragon" that is threatening our very existence as a country and we are going to do this together as a team. I could not do what you have helped me do if you had not been there to get this message out to others.

You have been fighting the beast far longer than I have and I am now trying to get up to speed on what I should have been doing all along.

Jack, I have never felt that your generation has gotten a fair shake from the powers that put you into that hellhole called southeast Asia but I never actively tried to force them to put things right, well all that is changing for me now and I will use my energy to try and set things right for you and everyone that has gotten the shitty end of the stick from these assholes. And I hope my efforts will prevent another generation from receiving the same treatment from the assholes that hide behind people like us. In peace, Kevin

Kevin Benderman truly is a man of courage and honor.--Jack

Kevin Benderman On Trial by John Catalinotto

Recently congress established a "national ID"; created a "secret police" comprised of FBI, CIA and the military; the courts said Bush could declare anyone he wants an "enemy combatant" and hold them forever; and now all of that is being unleashed against the citizens of this nation. Sinclare Lewis was wrong in the title of his book, "It Can't Happen Here" because it has happened here.

Also see: Morphing the Gestapo by Doris Colmes. Pay heed to her warnings!

Welcome to the New World Order and the death of any semblance of democracy thanks to the Theocratic / Fascist / Oligarchy ideologues running this Twilight Zone episode - Bush & Co. This is but one more of the mounting reasons for all of us that are able to be in Washington, D.C. this Sept 24-26 for the mass rally to be held there.--Jack
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Welcome to Tom's place - for those who seek Peace and Justice - By "Tom Joad"

Spc. Dale Bertell, U.S. Army and his wife, Amy Bertell:

This is a first that I know of, a spouse has been charged in the case of a military resister. A felony charge has been filed against the wife of a man who fled the military rather than go to Iraq where he had done a previous tour of duty. Amy was charged with "enticing, abetting a deserter." Given the moral bankruptcy of this war, I believe this is a badge of honor. Though I have not seen the indictment, it sounds like Amy Bertell was charged under this Federal Law. If so, Amy, mother of four children, (the military, in its compassion, has not charged any of the children) is faced with a maximum term of three years.

Free the Dale and Amy Bertell!

July 22 Update: According to Amy's attorney Bill Durland, the military wrongfully charged a civilian wife of a AWOL soldier with the crime of "enticing, abetting a deserter" (see link). This may be the first time the statute has been used, and it was not done properly (military police issued the warrant without a U.S. Attorney's approval, but as you can see below, Ft Carson plays fast and loose with the law). There is a hearing for Amy on August 17th.

Read the following ...Story from the Colorado Springs Gazette ...

Ft. Carson GI convicted of dodging duty By DENNIS HUSPENI

A Fort Carson soldier has been convicted of intent to avoid hazardous duty - what amounts to desertion - and is serving time in a military prison after trying to declare himself a conscientious objector.

Army officials also have filed a felony charge against his wife, alleging she was "enticing, abetting a deserter," her attorney said.

Spc. Dale Bartell, assigned to the 3rd Armored Cavalry Regiment, didn't always oppose war. He enlisted almost three years ago and served a tour in Iraq.

But Bartell and his wife, Amy Bartell, joined a Mennonite church, and their philosophies changed, she said Wednesday outside a U.S. District courtroom in Colorado Springs where she was scheduled for a hearing.

"He's changed since joining. If he knew the teachings then that we know now, he never would have joined," Amy Bartell said. "He knew there was going to be consequences for his stance."

"I didn't know I'd get into trouble for being a housewife."

As his unit was preparing to go back to Iraq, Bartell's commanding officers would not help him - and even hindered him - in filing the paperwork to become a conscientious objector, said Amy Bartell's attorney, Bill Durland.

"He knew that once they got him over there, they would have their way," Amy Bartell said, noting officers offered to let him use "non-lethal" ammunition in Iraq. "He would have to ignore his religious convictions. What choice did he have? He went AWOL."

Soldiers have filed about 150 conscientious-objector applications since 2002; the Los Angeles Times reported [Story link] recently using Pentagon figures [The actual number is probably much higher. Soldiers fill these long forms out and then it sits on his/her commanding officers desk for months at a time. --Tom]. About 71 of those applications were approved. During the Vietnam War - where many soldiers were drafted - there were some 17,000 applications from active-duty soldiers, according to the Times report.

Bartell, who has been transferred to a military prison in Fort Sill, Okla., was unavailable for comment Wednesday.

The first time Bartell went absent without leave was from March 7 through April 8, according to Durland. During that time, Bartell never left Fort Carson, where the couple lived on base with their four children, ages 1 to 11. Amy Bartell received a letter saying all pay and benefits were being cut off.

The second time Bartell went AWOL was on the day he thought his unit was to ship out, April 17. He met with a military defense attorney May 12 and turned himself in.

By that time, the couple had moved to the Canon City area to be near their church, the Skyline Mennonite Church. Military police showed up in early May and served Amy Bartell with the felony charge of "enticing, abetting a deserter," Durland said.

That charge could result in punishment of up to three years in prison, Durland said.

Prosecutors charged Spc. Bartell with "intent to avoid hazardous duty," which is basically the same as desertion, Durland said. On advice from his military attorney, Bartell pleaded guilty to the charge in hopes his conscientious objector position could mitigate a harsh prison sentence.

"He pleaded guilty because he accepted responsibility for what he had done," Bartell said. "It was his only option. He was not going to say 'no' to God."

Bartell's military attorney told a Fort Carson public affairs officer Wednesday she would have to get permission from her client before answering any questions.

The spokesman for the U.S. Attorney's Office in Denver declined comment on the case Wednesday.

On July 12, Spc. Bartell was sentenced to four months in prison, after which he will be dishonorably discharged.

Rev. Loren Miller, of Skyline Mennonite, said the church is for pacifist Christians. Church officials and volunteers have helped the Bartells, and were at the hearing Wednesday - which was postponed until Aug. 17.

"We are harmless, peace-loving people," Miller said, noting Mennonites take the Scriptures literally.

Amy Bartell is worried about the felony charge she faces. And she's worried about her husband.

"He's going through a lot," she said. "It does affect him. He's sitting in prison knowing I'm getting into trouble for what we believe."

Ft. Carson Bans the Denver Post
The same military base that attacks the wife of a soldier whose religious beliefs forbid him from participating in combat was in the news last December, when it temporarily banned the Denver Post from covering its activities, after it printed an article it did not like. Cutting ties to the outside world is the modus operandi of religious cults and/or dictatorships. Read two stories below.
U.S. War Heroes of the Iraq War - War Resisters from within the Military

Since the megalomaniacal "Mayberry Machiavellis" in the White House and Congress kicked off their little "war of aggression" in Iraq, the V.A. has been overwhelmed with new veterans back from Iraq with myriad physical, mental and emotional problems - over 103,000 so far. However, the BushCo cabal has not seen fit to even remotely come close to the proper funding of the V.A., and the veterans from this latest war of deception in Iraq are now joining with the rest of us from wars gone by in the fight for veterans' fair and just treatment. Or should I just say treatment - as that is what is lacking across the board.

"With nearly 240,000 employees, the VA is larger than all other federal departments except the Pentagon. But even before the "war on terrorism" began, it had to scramble in dealing with the needs of 7.5 million enrolled vets, including a large number of homeless - 33 percent of homeless men in the US are veterans."

To make matters worse, if that's possible, the BushCo appointment of the former chairman of the Republican National Committee, Jim Nicholson, as the head of the V.A. pretty much sealed the fate of veterans needing health care at the V.A. Nicholson is nothing more than a BushCo ideologue who is promoting the ideological position of BushCo. In fact Nicholson stated, when he appeared in front of congress that, "health care for our veterans is not being affected by the V.A. shortfall." How to lie with a straight face - that is what he did, lie with a straight face.

Nicholson knew in April of this year that the V.A. had run out of budgeted money yet he wrote Kay Hutchinson in congress telling her and the Veterans Committee that the V.A. was fine and did not need any supplemental money. To hell with fact and truth - follow the ideology; Which today is calling payments to veterans a "threat to our national security" as stated by David Chu at the Pentagon - so much for supporting the troops; so much for supporting anything but the current ideology of "profits over people" and "perpetual war for perpetual peace."

"Funding for programs like veterans' education and job training, health care, pensions, VA housing and the like are "hurtful" to national security, Pentagon official David Chu said. Chu was defending a new round of cuts during a recent interview with the Wall Street Journal."

VA funding was shifted from the subcommittee that includes housing and NASA programs to the subcommittee on military quality of life and VA related agencies, which forces the VA to compete for limited funds with such programs as Defense Department health care, military cemeteries and military construction.

BushCo administration policies and votes in the House and Senate suggest that the GOP (and the Democratic Party) does not view the care of veterans as "a continuing cost of war." Both parties have over the years been "asleep at the wheel" when it comes to properly funding the V.A. so that veterans that come back from the messes they are sent into.

For the next few weeks the House and the Senate, will fight over whether to give emergency funding of the V.A. of $975 million as says the House, or $1.5 billion as says the Senate. When the truth of the matter is that the V.A. needs right at $3.2 billion to do what it is set up to do - care for this nations veterans. The House and the Senate will put on a show of care and concern; they will go home over the congressional recess and tell everyone how much they care and what they are doing to resolve the V.A. shortfall. In the end, the V.A. will still lack the funding it needs to properly take care of the veterans of this nation who continue to pay the "cost of war" for the rest of their lives.

There will be many parades and many speeches about the sacrifices of veterans and how the nation must honor veterans; Special days so people can feel good, and for the veteran, the day after the parades and speeches, nothing changes.

Year by year more veterans seek help for mind and body at Veterans Administration Health Care facilities only to be turned away in increasing numbers - V.A. has no money, no room at the Inn.

But, every year on "Veterans Day" on "Memorial Day" on the "4th of July--Independence Day," there are parades and speeches extolling the sacrifices of those that went to war - and the day after the speeches, for the veteran, nothing changes. Bodies are still broken; minds are still tormented and haunted by nameless faces in the night.

A young man returns form Iraq missing both legs. After discharge from the Army he ends up having to live in his car - where is the "honor our veterans" for this young man?

Stu, 25 year old Marine is in an auto accident within 24 hours of his discharge but has to go to a civilian hospital for treatment and surgery. Why? The V.A. told his family he did not qualify for V.A. care.

Josh, another 25 year old Marine goes nuts while still in Iraq. Instead of the Marine Corps trying to treat his multi-symptomatic PTSD they put him in jail for 5 years.

How does any of this show honor to those that have given their all? It would be easy to dismiss these three as imaginary people, but they are real and their stories are real. The worst of it is the simple fact these three are not atypical.

One generation of veterans after another have been asking this nation to live up to the agreement, the promise, it made to veterans; simply to provide the mental and physical healthcare in an timely manner by qualified medical personnel. To provide disability compensation for those that are unable to work due to their disability; And to stop pitting one group of veterans against another in a fight for decreasing funds in the V.A.

If this nation really cared about "honoring" those that have borne the cost of battle it would make the V.A. budget a mandatory budget line item instead of what we have today. Today not only is the amount of money for the V.A. up for grabs from year to year and voted on, but if there will even be a budget for the V.A.

Where is the "honor for those that given their all?" Keep the parades; keep all the fine speeches. If this nation was really serious about honoring this nations veterans it would provide decent, qualified and timely healthcare for veterans and no veteran would ever be told there is no room at the Inn or that did "do not qualify."

In short, properly fund the V.A. and that would be a first step at living up to the promises made to those, by this country, that would experience the inhumanity and brutality that is war.

According to Veterans for Justice: "As the cost of the Iraq War blunder continues, costing America's Tax Payers billions, and billions, of dollars every couple of months to set up a puppet government in Iraq, our own government is in danger of following in the path of the Soviet Union and falling due to the massive debt, and out of control spending by the Bush Administration ....Unpatriotic President Bush, and the extremely unpatriotic Republican Party has schemed and set up a Veterans Disability Benefits Commission with the goal of finding ways to get our disability checks.

One of their schemes is to take claims already decided and review them. This means that some poor Veteran that already fought 30 years for his disability may have it arbitrarily taken and have to start fighting all over again. Keep in mind that even though it is President Bush, and the Republican Party mainly behind this present scheme AGAINST America's Veterans that the Democrats have not been much better when they had power."

This lack of across the board care and concern past just lip service from congress over the health care needs of this nation's veterans has got to end! The cost of war does not end for those who went to war when they come "home," it goes on and on and on and on.

Take Action VA Budget Shortfall, Please Contact Your Senators Today!
It is from the DAV
Click here

Sources, references and additional information:
Snapshot of How VA Budget Shortfall is Hurting Veterans' Access to Safe and Timely Care across the Nation (Col Dan's web site)

Funding for programs like veterans' education and job training, health care, pensions, VA housing and the like are "hurtful" to national security, Pentagon official David Chu said. Chu was defending a new round of cuts during a recent interview with the Wall Street Journal.

VA Confirms 103,000 Iraq and Afghan Veterans Seek Healthcare: Senate Plans $1.5 Billion Spending Boost for Veterans

With nearly 240,000 employees, the VA is larger than all other federal departments except the Pentagon. But even before the "war on terrorism" began, it had to scramble in dealing with the needs of 7.5 million enrolled vets, including a large number of homeless - 33 percent of homeless men in the US are veterans. Christian Science Monitor

The war against veterans

PRESIDENT Bush gives plenty of lip service to men and women in uniform. Now it's time for the President to put his money where his mouth is and fully fund veterans' benefits.

An official of the Department of Veterans Affairs admitted last week that it is short $1 billion for the current fiscal year, which ends Sept. 30, but giving short shrift to those who have served their country is nothing new for this administration. Toledo Blade

Vietnam War Resisters in Canada Open Arms to U.S. Military Deserters

WASHINGTON (AP) -- The Bush administration agreed Wednesday to ask Congress for more money to meet veterans' health care expenses after disclosing last week a politically embarrassing $1 billion shortfall in the program.

Veterans Continue to be Left Behind

Collateral Risk: DU research gap could impact Vermont troops

Of all the issues we in this country are faced with today the illegal invasion/occupation of Iraq is at the top of the "important list." Within BushCo's war policies one thing in particular has got to be not only looked at, but we must act, and the sooner rather than later as a lot of lives are at stake due to the use by the U.S. of Depleted Uranium. Jack's Straight-Speak

It was approximately three years ago the GAO (General Accounting Office) attempted to do what congress requested: an audit of the DoD/Pentagon. After a solid year, the GAO had to report back to congress that they could not complete the audit as there was no supporting documentation to account for what had happened to a little over $1.4 Trillion, yes Trillion with a capital "T" that was MISSING! Jack's Straight-Speak

Vietnam vets still living with the pain

As the nation honors its veterans Thursday, some advocates say too many are falling through the cracks. from the November 10, 2004 edition of Christian Science Monitor

A Soldiers fight to overcome Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in the Army.....

"Depleted Uranium Casualties: Care Denied"
Dr. Doug Rokke, Ph.D.
Major (retired) United States Army Reserve
Former Director U.S. Army Depleted Uranium Project

April 1, 2004

I received the following letter from Bobby who is one of the founders of "American's for Shared Sacrifice" late yesterday. Bobby, who is retired military and both a Vietnam vet and Gulf War 1 vet. He also has a son doing his second tour in Iraq. The next time anyone tries to tell you how high troop morale is or how well things are going in Iraq, just show them this young man's letter. What is so heartbreaking is this is not just a singular young man's opinion - I've received so many letters like this I have lost count. We must "Bring Them Home Now!" -- Jack (Open Letter to America

Mark Benjamin, Salon.com
Posted 2005-05-26 07:03:00.0
More than 85,000 U.S. soldiers who fought in Iraq and Afghanistan have sought medical care from the Department of Veterans Affairs after getting back, that department told Congress Thursday. That is an increase of 52,000 GIs since last summer -- last July the VA said 35,000 vets from Iraq and Afghanistan had sought medical treatment from the department.

Jack Dalton is a disabled Vietnam veteran and writer that lives in Portland, Or. He has a blog, Jack's Straight-Speak and is a columnist for the Project for the Old American Century as well as many other web publications.

Just something to think about. How would you feel if you were a Reservist on your third your of duty in Iraq or Afghanistan, and the Pentagon kept denying they were doing anything to find someone to replace you so you could come home? The only thing that seems more up in the air than when the US will leave Iraq, is how they are going to provide for troop rotation and getting the "part time" military back to their lives. Given all the Defense Department's spending on high tech warfare (robots and turning individual personnel into extensions of that technology), perhaps robots will replace them. The "Army of One" is taking on a whole new meaning. But I digress.

Back to the new efforts to collect data for "recruiting" purposes.

What exactly is the DoD doing? Well reading the article from American Forces information Service has some interesting twists. The article extensively quotes David S. C. Chu (undersecretary for personnel and readiness. According to Chu, the United States does not have an "all volunteer" military - it is an "all recruited force." A fine distinction perhaps, but one that legitimates data collection. One assumes they are simply doing what any big business now does - targeting their market.

So why the contract with BeNow? After all, under SEC. 9528. Armed Forces Recruiter Access to Students and Student Recruiting Information of the "No Child Left Behind" Act, schools receiving federal funds must turn over the Names, addresses, and phone numbers of students on demand by the military. Isn't that enough information? According to Chu, it is not. The data collected under the No Child Left Behind provisions is "decentralized" and of use only to "local recruiters" and is not a centralized list of all possible recruits.

However, the data being collected for the BeNow contract goes well beyond the data collected through No Child. It includes "The new database will include personal information including birth dates, Social Security numbers, e-mail addresses, grade-point averages, ethnicity and what subjects the students are studying" according to the Washington Post article. Why the additional information just for "recruiting?" Grade point averages and classes being taken? Are the planning on focusing their recruiting on the highest G.P.A. or the lowest? Are they looking for those who are failing? This seems entirely possible, as earlier reports have note that the military is lowering their standards in an effort to meet recruiting targets. The Guardian, referring to a Wall Street Journal article states:

"The Wall Street Journal quoted a battalion commander as saying: "It is the guys on weight control ... school no-shows, drug users, etc, who eat up my time and cause my hair to grey prematurely ... Often they have more than one of these issues simultaneously."

The philosophy seems to be that those most likely to join the U.S. military are those who face the largest challenges and lack of opportunity in the broader society. There are anecdotal reports that no matter what a potential recruit tells a recruiter about issues that would normally get them barred from service, that recruiters will sign them up. So will the new data be used to target those with the biggest challenges? It seems likely. This approach (and it is not a particularly new approach) tends to stack the force with those who have the fewest resources - the poor and people of color. This also perpetuates what we see in terms of public response to the war in Iraq and beyond. The troops are "someone else's children;" meaning that the middle and above classes have no family to lose in the international escapades of Empire.

So now the DoD is collecting even more data, and more personal data, on students so they can "centralize" recruiting. One has to ask, "to what end." Since recruiting takes place at the local level, and those data needs are apparently already being met, what happens differently under the new plan? That is totally unclear to me, but it is clear that the military (and the government) has an increasing appetite for individual's private information. Contracting with private corporations for data collection services is not restricted to recruiting. The current example is one more contract.

We keep hearing how difficult it is to recruit during war time, and that is what is driving the aggressive (and some argue illegal) recruiting efforts of the US military. However, perhaps it is that people don't feel that the war is worth fighting. While it is possible that the "patriotism" of the young has been subverted in the era of the individual, it recruiting problems during war time is a relatively new problem. Certainly, recruiting was not a problem in the immediate aftermath of the events of September 11, 2001. Recruiters just had to sit in the office and volunteers came streaming in. Now however, they are not streaming in, they are hiding out. This indicates to me that the young are willing to risk their lives in a good cause, they just no longer see the war policies as a good cause.

The scope of the new data collection points to a track you down approach - not a targeted "marketing" approach. The local versus centralized data is a ploy (in my opinion), since there is no reason why the data currently supplied by schools can't be centralized. In fact, I would be amazed if is not already centralized. That means the current move serves a larger purpose, we are just not sure what, exactly, that purpose is.

Trent's story points out the absolute need to get military recruiters out of this nation's high schools! And get them out we must! At least as they exist and currently operate on the grounds of high schools today.

How many more "suicides" by young people in the military is it going to take before this nation wakes up to what is happening to young people; to us a nation? We truly have become the monster we have always professed to be fighting.

"Is this what we have allowed this nation to become? Lives that are not our own, but the states to do with as it will when it will? That's not an all volunteer military, that's called forced indenture - once it was called slavery."

Background on Trent

Trent was a 17 year old high school student when he "considered" taking the Marine Corps recruiters up on the Delayed Entry Program. Kids still in school like Trent with their parents consent "sign up" (parents have to sign the paperwork for anyone under 18) and as soon as they graduate, off to boot camp. Trent's parents, initially, were not in agreement with his desire to sign up for the Delayed Entry Program and at first would not agree to sign the consent papers for him. Trent did what all kids do when they are told "no" by mom and dad - he dug his heels in and became more determined to get them to sign the consent papers.

From what Trent's mom and dad have told me in our many conversations, Trent begged, pleaded, asked and kept on asking, typical of all kids who are determined and who have "made up" their minds on something. It took Trent a few weeks, but in the end his parents finally acquiesced and signed the consent forms. In June of 2004, Trent, having graduated high school that month, was off to boot camp at Parris Island, S.C.

That Trent's father is a career Naval Officer and Navy Diver, with 25 years active duty, more than likely had a sizeable influence on Trent and his wanting to be a Marine. His mother, Kathie believes so, and I pretty much agree with her on that point. Based on many conversations with Trent's father, it is a safe assumption he thinks that also.

Trent's father is a Navy diver and, as such, is pretty much separated from all the other facets of the military and its mission, whatever that may be at any given point in time. That's the kind of military Trent grew up with and saw. A far cry from what he would be confronted with in boot camp. Trent, his father, and his mother have been going thru one big learning experience since Trent has declared himself, as a matter of conscience, a conscientious objector; which has not been easy or pleasant to say the least.

Trent graduated boot camp and went home for "leave" in September of last year. According to his parents, when Trent came home; "He was depressed and confused and was sent to see a military Chaplain and a mental health counselor at the Marine base close to our home. He knew he was now a part of something that would expect things from him that he couldn't do."

It was while he was home on leave that he first learned of "conscientious objectors" Up until that time Trent had no idea that someone in the military who became opposed to war could apply for status as a conscientious objector and possibly be discharged. The conviction that war, all war, was inherently wrong that had crystallized within him at the rifle range earlier now had a name - Trent declared himself a conscientious objector and requested status as such to his commanding officer when he returned to Camp Geiger from his leave.

Trent is now learning another lesson and this one is not pretty either. He is now learning that all Marines do not take care of each other; they do not all watch each others back; and they are not all supportive of their fellow Marines - especially when a Marine is directly and indirectly publicly insulted and humiliated by what is essentially "command and control" as is Trent after declaring himself a C.O. In fact he has been attacked by a "fellow" Marine once already and that required stitches. So much for Semper Fi - as a former Marine, and a combat Marine, that hurts to see and say. This new national policy of "perpetual war for perpetual peace" has more than just a little to do with men like Trent being treated in this manner.

One road block after another has been thrown in front of Trent after he declared and filed paperwork for status as a C.O. In fact, the investigating officer assigned to Trent's case acted more like a prosecuting attorney rather than just follow the law and carry on an impartial investigation into the legitimacy of Trent's application. During one session with the investigator, Trent was belittled and berated by this so-called "investigator" who then proceeded to tell Trent that he "found his letters of support annoying." These were letters from active duty military, some of which held very high positions of authority within the military. But, the investigator found them "annoying." Give me a break! That's not an investigating officer; that is someone bound and determined to find any reason at all to deny Trent's application. The Marine Corps hates to lose. And if it were to approve Trent's application, the Marine Corps would view that as them losing and that it cannot allow.

The "interviewer" came at Trent as if he were a criminal. There was no impartiality whatsoever; he came into the interview attempting to bait Trent and proceeded to treat him with little to no respect or dignity. But, then that is the Marine Corps way when one stands like a man of conscience as is young Trent Helmkamp. One Major in Trent's command even went so far as to tell Trent if he went UA (unauthorized absence) or did anything wrong that they would keep him there forever. While another one suggested Trent go UA and that way he could get out with other than an honorable discharge, but at least he would be out, as it was stated. Now you tell me, how nuts is that?

There is so very, very much more to this, but that is for another essay. Trent's father wrote a letter to Senator Warner and it is a must read. In it he confronted the entire issue of conscientious objector status in a way I have never seen anyone else ever do, and I strongly urge all to read it. You will be able to better understand the entire process and how it is geared to deny and not help. In his letter, Trent's father made some rather profound observations about the entire process and what his son has been subjected to.

A Marine LT. at Camp Lejeune (Lejeune and Camp Geiger are right next to each other) - on condition of anonymity - told Trent's parents not long ago, "By letting your son go, they, the Marines, will feel like they have lost, and the Marines are trained to always win." And in this instance they want to win even at the expense of what is right and at Trent's expense, as it is his life they are attempting to turn upside down and to a large degree already have. In the meantime Trent, who is at the same base as was Jason Pirro, the young man the Marine Corps is trying to say killed himself, is going thru essentially the same type of brutality and harassment as did Jason Pirro - you take it from there. I only know this; I am more than just a little concerned for his safety, health and well being.

Devolved into a Militarized Nation that now Eats its Own

There is a "train wreck" I see coming, and it is the one that has been created by this current administration and the entire concept of "perpetual war for perpetual peace;" or as those who occupy this nation's seat of power like to put it, "preventive wars." How do you prevent war by going to war as the aggressor?

This nation incarcerates more of its own citizens than does any nation on earth. We have many in prison for murder, and for those who are in fact guilty, that's where they belong. At the same time, when a young man such as Trent stands up and states that he cannot train to kill, he will not train to kill, nor will he ever kill another human being, he is threatened with prison for not wanting to kill! Right now today, we have people in prison who have been convicted of murder and in the cell next to them, are people in prison due to the fact they said no to killing as has Trent. Is this not insane?

And I will not accept as some have tried to tell me, "That's different. They are in the military and the military's job is to kill." Hogwash! In general it takes a lot to train people to get over their natural aversion to taking a life. The military trains and indoctrinates young men into a culture of "killing" and then sends them off to war where killing is the order of the day and too often a matter of personal survival. Then they come home, all twisted by war where you learn to act and react instantly to "adverse" situations and that same type of reaction stays with them.

The next thing you hear, is another combat vet has killed his family (it happened a couple of years ago at Ft Brag) or his girlfriend while in a rage (a man was just sentenced for 2nd degree murder here in Oregon recently - he had just recently come back from Iraq) and they all end up where - in prison. And those two are far from singular events! Go to prison for killing - go to prison for not killing.

At one time in this nation individuals had the right to choose how to live their own lives; what they would do; where they would work; what kind of work they would do; at least until now. If, when after starting a "job" the individual decided, nope, this is not for me, they could quit and move on from there. Now we are in a situation where a person that goes into the military full of John Wayne movies; highly trained military recruiters who know how to get inside a kids head; and computer generated war games, gets confronted with the reality of the military and its mission and says, "nope, I cannot do this," and then is criminalized for not wanting to kill or even learn how to kill.

"Is this what we have allowed this nation to become? Lives that are not our own, but the states to do with as it will when it will? That's not an all volunteer military, that's called forced indenture - once it was called slavery."

Now we are facing the very real possibility of more wars other than the two currently going on in Iraq and Afghanistan - Iran and Syria: Hi Ho Hi Ho, It's Off to War We Go has to quickly become the mantra for this country since Bush and company have gained the seat of power - this must not be allowed to continue or many more lives will be destroyed - if not by participation in war, then by the U.S. military that will eat it's own if they choose, as has young Trent Helmkamp, to say no, "I will not train to kill nor will I participate in killing", period, end of story!

Trent's current situation and status and the Marines Separation Barracks

Right now Trent is doing alright. At least he was per the phone conversation he and I had last night. He is still quite shaken but at least now the Marine Corps has him seeing a Doctor. It is the Doctor Trent is now seeing who has not only recommended an immediate discharge for Trent, but has stated he will fight on behalf of Trent, as he sees clearly what the Marine Corps has done to Trent, and the extreme negative reaction by Trent to the treatment he has received at the Separation Barracks.

Not only has Trent been victimized by the Marine Corps at the Separation Barracks, there have been and still are many others being treated in the very same manner as what Trent has been subjected too.

Last year, young Jason Pirro supposedly hanged himself at least that is the "Official" report from the Marine Corps. The biggest problem with that is simply this: less than one hour before Jason was found hanged in a bathroom stall he had breakfast with his friends in the mess hall; all of whom have stated essentially the following: "Jason was in very high spirits as he was getting discharge in a couple of days. He would be home when his wife had their second child ... he was elated at going home finally." Less than an hour later Jason was found hanged and the Marine Corps wrote off his death as a "suicide." The Marine Corps completely ignored the fact that for months while awaiting his "discharge" Jason had been subject to a string of brutal hazing at the base. Myself, after many discussion with Jason's mom, and reading many reports and statements, firmly believe that Jason Priors' death was the result of a hazing that went terribly wrong and the Marine Corps has covered that up!

Not long ago, at the very same base, another young man was chalked up as a suicide - he was found face down in a creek in 4 inches of water. Excuse me! Committed suicide by lying down in a 4 inch deep creek? Give me a break! What in the hell is going on there?

According to what Trent has told me on several occasions; according to what Trent's mother, Kathie, has told me over a period of many months, there have been many in the Separation Barracks that have attempted suicide; while many others have gone AWOL so they could get sent to the brig. It seems life in the brig is better than life in the Separation Barracks. There is something terribly wrong when people choose to go to jail because life is better in jail than out of jail.

Massive and continuous "corporal punishment" from what I have been told is a daily event at the Separation Barracks at Camp Geiger/Camp Lejuene, S.C. The level of fear these young people are forced to endure there is driving some of them to do as Trent attempted to do, just end it all - driven to helplessness and hopelessness by the very military they are in. They live with the daily fear of reprisals, corporal punishment, humiliation, physical hazing (Trent has had stitches put in his face once already behind a fight over this), threats and intimidation.

If this does not point out the absolute necessity of getting military recruiters out of this nation schools I don't know what does!

Letter from Trent's Mother

Letter to Senator Warner from Trent's Father

Rebuttal to Investigating Officers Report

Jack Dalton is a disabled Vietnam veteran, activist and independent writer that lives in Portland, Or. He has a blog, Jack's Straight Speak and is a columnist for the POAC as well as many other web publications.

Now today we learn that even more money is missing. The GAO (Government Accounting Office) has reported that the DoD has lost another $3.5 billion of taxpayer money -money and equipment have just disappeared and no one knows where. SEE: DoD Management Control Breakdowns Result in Substantial Waste and Inefficiency.

Right now, with more people being sent off to war, on any given day there are between 300,000 to 500,000 veterans living on the streets of this nation. Congress sees fit to acquiesce to the DoD/Pentagon and White House demands for more money and they get a budget of $491 billion, which includes the $82 billion the senate recently voted 100-0 for; and at the same time veterans are being turned away from the V.A. due to substantial under funding. That brings the grand total to right at $300 billion in less, that's less, than three years; and all of it "borrowed" money. Since being lied into invading Iraq BushCo is averaging $125 billion a year just in Iraq alone.

Of the little over 360,000 veterans of this BushCo war of choice in Iraq, 85,000 have applied for care at the V.A. To date, right at 350,000 veterans of the first war in the Gulf are receiving disability from the V.A. and I've seen numbers as high as 150,000 that have been essentially told, "no more room at the Inn." There are Vietnam veterans that have fought for 30, 35 and 36 years for that which had been promised, which to paraphrase says, "to care for those who have borne the brunt of battle."

There are veterans from WWll and the Korean War that are still fighting for their rights as veterans as V.A. facilities are being closed forcing some of these veterans in their mid to late 70's and early 80's out of the V.A. nursing homes they currently are residents of -next stop, living on the streets.

We must all remember what David Cho at the Pentagon had to say about payments to veterans, "The amounts have gotten to the point where they are hurtful. They are taking away from the nation's ability to defend itself." Translation - "disability payments to veterans are a threat to our national security." Takes money away from those who started the very war that is creating more veterans needing V.A. healthcare - but then as Cho said, they [we] are now a threat to our national security.

Maybe that is why the head of the V.A. just recently announced the V.A. will review ALL of the veterans that have been given disability ratings and payments due to PTSD - Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome - between 1999 to 2005. The single biggest reason this nation has never admitted to the harm caused by the Agent Orange used in Vietnam is primarily because of the money that would have to be paid out. That is also the primary reason this nation is doing the very same thing to those who have been exposed to Depleted Uranium in the first Gulf War and the current invasion/occupation of Iraq. It's all about the money. There is enough money to start wars, to send people to fight the wars, but there is not enough money to take care of those sent to fight the wars.

The amount of money Rumsfeld's Department of War "loses" every few months would be more than enough to properly fund the V.A--instead veterans of this nation's wars are being denied access on a daily basis; others wait for months to get appointments for even basic medical services; specialized care is even worse - all due primarily to under funding. SEE: From Vietnam to Iraq: Ignoring the Veteran Healthcare Crisis.

GAO: Pentagon Squandering Billions on Excess Property
Tuesday, June 07, 2005 -- The Government Reform Committee National Security Subcommittee holds a hearing to examine a new GAO study on waste and inefficiency in the Defense Department. The report finds that the Department has improperly disposed of valuable equipment at a cost to taxpayers of more than $3.5 billion.

"The litany of Administration mismanagement of federal contracts is long and costly. The value of no-bid contracts has skyrocketed under the Bush Administration. Oversight of federal contracts has been turned over to private companies with blatant conflicts of interest. And when government auditors do find abuses, their recommendations are ignored.

Nearly every week, the papers are of full of stories of contract abuse. The Department of Homeland Security has wasted hundreds of millions of dollars on security contracts that have produced virtually no results. The FBI has spent $170 million on "Virtual Case File" software that doesn't work. And in Iraq, Halliburton has overcharged by hundreds of millions of dollars, yet the Administration continues to shower the company with federal funds, bonuses, and special treatment." Rep Henry Waxman

While I may have missed the June 8th "Million Veteran March" on Washington, whatever it takes I will be at the march on Washington this September 24th. I hope that a lot of people make the plans and set aside that time to come to Washington. The one thing the people who keep creating these wars fear the most is an informed and mobilized public.

The people who run this country currently are destroying the nation's ability to pay for anything but war; while at the same time creating more veterans to toss aside. If for no other reason than the lack of fair and just treatment for veterans by this nations governing body, this alone is more than enough to march on Washington - something I will be doing, bad health, wheelchair and all! I hope to see many of you there -start making plans while there is still plenty of time.

The majority of the "advisors" and department heads Bush has surrounded himself with all come from the state of Texas. They have set the policies that have led us into this current war. They have set the policies that have us on the road to economic ruin. They have turned this nation into a military juggernaut the likes of which the world has never before seen. It would be good to remember the words of Dwight D Eisenhower as he saw this coming a long time ago:

"Should any political party attempt to abolish social security, unemployment insurance, and eliminate labor laws and farm programs, you would not hear of that party again in our political history. There is a tiny splinter group, of course, that believes that you can do these things. Among them are a few Texas oil millionaires, and an occasional politician or businessman from other areas. Their number is negligible and they are stupid." President Dwight Eisenhower, 1952.

Unfortunately for us, the nation, and the rest of the world, the people Eisenhower called "stupid" in 1952 are now the one's running the country (over a cliff.) These people that were called "stupid" and the "crazies" regardless of whether they call themselves Democrats or Republicans are essentially two ends of the same "party" the way I see it. The illusion of two parties is what we are faced with. In fact, just recently the GOP stated it is out to completely restructure the federal government in their own image.

A $491 billion bloated War Department budget is helping to create deficits so high that the Newt Gingrich and Grover Norquist "policy" of "Starve the Beast" so as to eliminate all social spending by breaking the bank, is well under way - and this definitely includes eliminating spending for and on veterans!

"The time has long since passed for ALL military veterans - especially career military retirees - to take up our arms and join in the struggle to restore ALL promised military pay and benefits....." James Nolan Campbell, Senior Master Sergeant, United States Air Force Retired - military.com

"IT IS NOT 'UP TO SOMEONE ELSE' - IT'S UP TO US!"

Mass March on Washington, September 24, 2005

1 in 4 Iraq and Afghan War Veterans Seek VA Medical Care

Depleted Uranium Education Project

IAMB Report on Iraq funds

Agent Orange Website

Vietnam Veterans of America Guide on PTSD

$69 million gone

Smedly Butler: War is a Racket

GOP Out to Restructure the Federal Government

Analysists Warn DoD Budget "Train-Wreck" Coming

Senate Silent on Halliburton

Jack Dalton is a disabled Vietnam veteran, activist for veteran's rights, and writer who lives in Portland, OR. He is a columnist for the POAC as well as many other publications. He may be contacted thru his blog, Jack's Straight-Speak

May 3, 2004

MEMORANDUM FOR Director, Military Personnel Mgmt., Dept. of the Army, Wash. DC.
MEMORANDUM THROUGH Installation Commander, Ft. Stewart, Georgia
Division Rear Detachment Commander, Ft. Stewart, GA
Brigade Rear Detachment Commander, Ft. Stewart, GA
Company Rear Detachment Commander, Ft. Stewart, GA
Battalion Forward Support Chaplain, Ft. Stewart, GA
Conscientious Objector Hearing

Investigating Officer, Ft. Stewart, Georgia

SUBJECT: Getting to the Heart of the Matter

I read with interest, the response given by all of the above mentioned in my husband, Sgt. Kevin Benderman's, chain of command, with regard to his application for Conscientious Objector status. I reviewed the completed recommendation, and gave it a thorough examination before coming to the conclusion that I must respond to it in this manner. My review took exactly one minute. My interest was piqued. The net worth of YOUR time in a matter involving the rest of my husband's life, and MINE, having made the commitment (YES, Sirs… COMMITMENT) that I did, to support him as he chose to do the right thing and follow his conscience, THE NET WORTH OF YOUR TIME in this matter was a mere one minute's worth of reading for a message that had all the human interest of a computer generated condolence letter.

I have been involved in the process of my husband's coming to the difficult decision that he did since long before any of you even knew his name. For the record, I believe that even at this point, that is truly all any of you do know of this man. Which leads me to this question: How exactly is it that any of you could, in GOOD CONSCIENCE, make any recommendation whatsoever on my husband's choice of conscience, having never really taken the time to get to know him?

Col. John Kidd, Ft. Stewart Installation Command, I have heard so very many things about you from a variety of sources. Soldiers, family members, wives, and media have all given me their thoughts on the type of person that you are. There have been some favorable comments, but most claim that you lost a feeling for the humanity of the soldiers and families that have come to you for help somewhere in the seemingly difficult work that you have had to do dealing with war and its aftermath. You have never met my husband, and yet you claim to know his soul. I have no opinion of you, Sir. I couldn't have, we have never met. I believe you do somehow respect humanity, and the choices you make are because you have had to close your heart to feeling, as so many soldiers must in these difficult times. Now that it is closed, you have trouble seeing when a soldier needs to stop soldiering to save himself, and to be what he needs to be for the family he has committed to. Family commitment, FIRST above all else, is a duty that must be served for life.

Lt. Col. Noel Nicholle, Ft. Stewart Division Rear Det. Commander, I have heard very much the same about you. I do not know you, but others have had much to tell me. I choose to withhold judgment until I have met you face to face. I am sure there is a man there who does care about humanity, and who does care about what matters most to his soldiers. I hope to one day be able to meet that man.

Major John Amadeo, Brigade Rear Det. Commander, I have heard your name. I would imagine we have crossed paths somewhere on Ft. Stewart. Would you know it if we had? Would you know how I felt if you saw me walking into your office next week? Do you know, when you hear a soldier's name that he needs to save himself before he can save the world? And would you be the commander who cares enough about his soldier to let him do what is right? Would you make every attempt to honor that soldier by getting to know him before you judge him? OR…. Would you simply circle a word on a form letter, and pass it along, never even giving that soldier a chance? Never giving yourself a chance to know a MAN with more heart, more courage, more life than you will ever meet again. Sir... You did yourself a disservice when you never raised your eyes to get to know my husband before you judged him. I will not do the same in return. I have never met you. I cannot say, in truth, what kind of a man you are... nor can I say that I recommend disapproval of your life for having committed to continue in war.

Capt. Diogo Tavares, Company Rear Det. Command, I have seen your eyes. I trusted you, Sir, and I spoke in support of you to my husband. I saw a man who is a soldier, but who is a soldier because he cares about humanity, NOT because he understands or supports killing. I saw a man who seems to respect choices other than serving on the "killing fields," for you continue to serve HERE, away from the conflict. You serve here, leaving work everyday to return to your family, and to golf, to laugh, to watch movies and to take long weekends, all the while telling your soldiers that they do not have the right to defend their own conscience. You deny their request to step away from killing and live as their conscience demands. You serve here, Sir, and yet you circled disapproval on a form letter denying my husband the rights that our constitution (the one all soldiers are ordered to defend) have given him, the "Right to Conscience," the right to say that his beliefs will no longer allow him to participate in war. You are here, at a desk, in an empty office, ALIVE. I trusted you to know my husband, one of your soldiers, better than most, to know his sincerity better than most… and yet you failed. You let your soldier down, Sir. You never did know him, and now, it seems that you never will.

None of you gave my husband the chance to let him show you who he is. You signed a form letter, and circled one word. None of you dared to speak to my husband, none of you dared to face him, to look in his eyes and hear what he had to say, to know his conscience. Are you afraid? Do you, serving in Rear Detachment positions, also have thoughts of saying NO to war, of seeing a way far better than war as a solution to our problems. Did you not want to face what he might make you question within yourself? Surely, if you truly believed what you claim, you would have given him the chance that the Army regulations allow, and that you denied… and you would have let him have a reason so that he could offer his SINCERE response in defense of his actions against your reason.

Cpt. Victor Aqueche, CO Investigating Officer, I saw your eyes. I really do not believe that I saw a lie. And yet, as I read your recommendation, I was confused. You wrote that it was unbiased, and yet there was no mention of our conversations during the hearing. You wrote that you considered all facts brought to the light, and yet there was no mention of what we spoke of, and what you admitted during the hearing to having a full understanding of. Did you forget, Sir… or were you afraid to see the truth? All soldiers put away their feelings when training for war. My husband did just as he was trained to do, and closed down his humanity, and became a robotic killer, as did you. A year before the war, Kevin and I met. Three months before the war, we married. And after his deployment, he returned and we began living a life that gave him his feeling back. You see, Sir, I love my husband, and I will not let him be the robot he, and others, like yourself, had become. He didn't want that, he doesn't want that. Who in their right mind, with good conscience, would? BUT… we talked about this in the hearing, and you recognized then that it was a strong aspect to the change of my husband's beliefs. We talked about his issues of stop/loss, how not re-enlisting would have been the easiest way for him to leave the military, but the military would not give him the easy way. We talked about his beliefs, how I watched him come to his decision over a period of time after he returned, how strong he is, and independent. You questioned why his thoughts had never been expressed to commanders and others around him, and I responded by telling you that he comes to his decisions on his own, and talks when he is SURE of what he has decided. You said you understood, and you accepted what we talked about. You did ME a disservice, Sir. I know this man better than anyone, and yet you did not include my testimony on my husband's behalf in your recommendation. You spent two hours speaking with my husband, 15 minutes with me. You gave one paragraph to an alleged article that had my name on it, even after you had stated on record that any articles would not be included. You gave NOTHING to my testimony. You mentioned NOTHING about what you claimed to understand in your recommendation. You DISHONORED ME, Sir. And, you betrayed yourself in the process.

Cpt. Matt Temple, chaplain. I hesitated to type chaplain after your name, but it's the position you serve -- rather, fill. Service, to me, would mean that you were doing the work. Sir, you failed both Sgt. Benderman and me with your lack of service to the chaplaincy of the US Army. I wonder, Cpt. Temple, if you remember me? I wonder if you remember the 5 telephone calls we had from January 2004 until August 2004? I wonder if you remember the hour long phone conversations we had, discussing how we could see a much greater vision for what the US Army could be, both for the soldiers and their families? I wonder if you remember the conversation in which you told me that you were relatively new to your position, but that in just the short time that you were there, you could see how little was really done for the families of the soldiers, and how much work there was to be done before they were given real support and their true needs were addressed? I wonder if you remember the phone call following your battalion's time at NTC, in California? We talked about the questions we both had in regard to deployment, and war. We talked about the military and how it could be used as a tool to promote positive growth in the lives of its members, if we could just find enough others who shared our vision. Do you remember? I do. You see, that conversation made an impact, and I passed it along to my husband. I told him, finally there is one person that I was confident he could talk to who would understand. I felt that there was one person who was strong enough in his convictions that he, as a chaplain, would be there and listen as my husband addressed his concerns and tried to define the actions he must take to calm his conscience. You failed me, Sir. You failed my husband and you failed your service. I trusted you, Matt. I spoke with you from my heart, and talked to you about the true sense of my concerns with the military, in particular what it was doing to my husband. You NEVER REALLY LISTENED. Do you remember the emails, beginning in October, that you and my husband, Sgt. Kevin Benderman, exchanged? Do you remember, from October on, ending every email with a comment, "We have to talk about this more," or "I would be happy to speak with you about this in person."? Do you remember? Which is the truth, Sir, what you expressed to me, what you expressed to my husband, when offering both of us your support as the Battalion Chaplain? OR is the truth that you hide behind your commission reward plan, and you choose to fill the role of a chaplain, but never did intend to SERVE. Faith matters to me, and to my husband. Faith in myself, and in those in the service of God who tell me that they are there for those I care about as they search for the true answers to questions of their conscience. I trusted you, Matt. I had faith in you. Who should I put my faith in now, Chaplain Temple?

I know what it is like to be betrayed. Each one of you in Sgt. Kevin Benderman's chain of command must as well. The difference is, Sgt. Benderman and I retain our integrity. We were betrayed by others than ourselves. Chaplain Temple, Cpt. Aqueche, Cpt. Tavares, Maj. Amadeo, Lt. Col. Nicholle, Col. Kidd, Brig. Gen. Byrne, commissioned officers in the US Army, for you the feeling must be far worse, a feeling I never could imagine -- YOU have betrayed one of your own soldiers, and his family. By not standing to defend what you have sworn to defend -- our Constitution -- by backing down, by hiding behind letters of form, and nothing but excuses -- YOU, Sirs, HAVE BETRAYED YOURSELVES.

A Vietnamese student of mine shared an interesting perspective with me, and I want to share it with you. I do so with his permission, but he did not want his name published because he fears recriminations from the Vietnamese government.

Vietnamese are one small group among others in the United States. Their arrival is quite late, and is divided into three stages: the evacuation in 1975, the seagoing movement after that, and the immigration with the ODP (Orderly Departure Program) of the United States until now. The immigrants in the first stage were mostly the officials or officers of the government and their families, and the townspeople of Saigon city. The refugees in the second stage were those who had money or opportunity to go. In the third stage are members of the families of people in the two previous stages.

Vietnamese immigrants to the United States had different positions in Vietnam than what they had in America. They were president, ministers, mayors, senators, officers, layers, doctors, businessman, peasants, soldiers, workers, and even criminals. However, in the United States, they all were the same: beginning with empty hands. Their knowledge or certificates were not accepted; they had to start studying. People who graduated from university or college had to study again in the United States; however, most of them couldn't because of the barriers of language, age, or other difficulties. People who wanted or needed to make money soon, or had low levels of education, just started working at whatever they could. Their success is measured with time: the longer they have been here, the more stable their life is. Very few of the early generation have been successful. The others are workers with temporary and low wage jobs. They have houses, cars, and banking accounts just because they work two jobs and save much money. They all, however, are just in the low class in the society. The following generations get better education, and are more successful. Some of them are in the middle class. They are lawyers, doctors, professors, businessman, engineering, etc.

Although there are differences in class, education, and backgrounds, Vietnamese immigrants contribute positively to the United States. The contributions are the work they do everyday. Moreover, there are a number of exceptional stories, but I just know some of them. One is the recent invention of a Vietnamese girl who is working in the US Department of Defense. She successfully created a super bomb that is specially used for attacking long, deep cave underground of in the mountain. It is said this is a small nuclear bomb. When it explodes at the entrance of a cave, it transmits heat and pressure along all of the cave's narrow alleys, and then blows out at the other ends of the cave with almost the same strength as at the beginning. The US army used this bomb in the war in Afghanistan, and Iraq. Another contribution is the $2,000,000 donation of a Vietnamese "millionaire" to the September 11's victims. An additional positive thing is that most Vietnamese people don't violate laws simply because they don't dare to do that. There are only a few Vietnamese gangs and criminals.

I saw an article in the Vietnamese newspaper. On the Memory Day of this year, the old Vietnamese officers and soldiers had a service with the old American veterans. They commemorated and honored the American soldiers who died in the Vietnam War. In the service, the chairman of the Vietnamese community made a speech. Later, an old American lady came and said sorry to him. He was very surprised, but the old lady explained that she just knew the truth from his speech. Her only son died in Vietnam. For years she hated Vietnamese people because she thought Vietnamese, in general, killed her son. Now she understood that Vietnamese immigrants were friends, not her enemy. She knew that they were co-soldiers on the same frontier, had the same enemy, and were victims in the same war. One of my classmates told the story of a young American. He hates Vietnamese because his uncle, a man he loves and respects very much, died in Vietnam. He has the same idea as that lady, but the difference is that he still hates and discriminates Vietnamese people.

Fortunately, the veterans in the Vietnam War and the people who understand the problem don't hate us. I met two old veterans, one who is now a truck driver for the Postal Office. That old man is very nice. He told that he still remembered the Vietnamese group working with him. He asked me about the situations of the old officials, and when I told him that they were treated badly, he looked very sad. The other veteran I saw in a Vietnamese family, in which he is a friend. When he asked me about Vietnam, I said that I missed my country very much. He smiled and said to me that "this is your country now." I understood that he saw me as an American, and I said, "Yes, here is my country, too. It's the second, and the other is the first."

War writes large on the lives of all, and deeply in the memories of some. It transforms, and it destroys. It lives through generations - sometimes the story is clear and sometimes it is an echo, but it persists. In both the United States and in Vietnam the story continues. It did not end thirty years ago. It lives in the lives of people regardless of where they now live and call home. It lives in the lives of the children of war (offspring of U.S. soldiers and Vietnamese women) who were placed in "orphanages" in Vietnam, and many who were brought to the U.S. because there was no place for them there.

Now soldiers of the United States (many who are U.S. immigrants hoping to gain their U.S. citizenship by risking their lives) are in Iraq. While purportedly they are there to "free" Iraq, the situation is such that a hatred of Iraqi's is generated on both sides of the globe. It impacts Iraqi Americans today, and it will impact Iraqi immigrants in the future. Likely in similar ways to those shared by my student. Will there someday be a reconciliation effort to find peace and closure between veterans of the Iraq war?

There has been a mass betrayal and it is likely to go on. It was a lie that sent the U.S. into Vietnam, and it was a lie that sent the U.S. into Iraq. In the Vietnam era, the discovery of that lie launched a peace movement which at once raised skepticism of the government, and disrespect for soldiers serving in that conflict. Today, almost everyone argues for "supporting" the troops, and most see that service as honorable. However, recent polls show that roughly half of the U.S. population believes at the claims of Iraq's weapons of mass destruction was a lie. Despite that, both those supporting the war and those fighting against it are unified in "supporting" the troops.

This creates a very fine an murky line conceptually. Maybe the people of the United States have grown intellectually - though I doubt it. With Vietnam, a dishonorable war labeled veterans in the eyes of many as serving with dishonor. In Iraq we have a war that is increasingly seen as dishonorable, but veterans are seen as serving honorably. Few want to think about that delicate balance that creates, or what it means.

War makes the enemy a "monster" whether that war was honorable or not. That has dramatic impacts on lives after war is over. I still know a number of people from the World War II era that see anyone of Japanese descent as monsters. I know people of the Vietnam era who see Vietnamese descent as monsters. Already, there are those who see Iraqi's (and all "Arabs") as monsters. Whether soldiers as seen as serving honorably or dishonorably also impacts whether they are seen as "monsters."

I know that many veterans struggle today with the physical and mental impacts of that experience and that era. The voice of those veterans is of critical import in this time of war without end. That voice is also of critical import to those serving today. I know that for many U.S. veterans, and also for Vietnamese immigrants to the U.S., that the current war has brought nightmares at the very least. There is an active and personal struggle by many to make sense of the past to try and make sense of the present.

But for now, for me, it seems important to reflect, to remember, and to learn. Thirty years after the end of the Vietnam War, we struggle with both the experience and the lessons. Both nations and millions of people find the images of that time present and painful. For some, those experiences serve as an impetus to struggle to end war and its destruction. For others, the only peace comes in the denial of the lies of the Vietnam War, and unquestioning support of current policies. No one wants to have lost so much for a "bad cause." We are, and will, continue to face the conundrum of honor and dishonor; of just and unjust wars; and our response to "those who serve." Underlying that is the struggle with our individual responsibility for both war and to all of those involved.